11 Things That Were Socially Acceptable In The 1990s That Are Mostly Considered Inappropriate Today
Pressmaster / Shutterstock While there were indeed changes in social norms sparked by the culture that developed in the 1990s, there are several things that were socially acceptable back then that are mostly considered inappropriate today. From the use of certain compliments and language to a variety of workplace behaviors, societal boundaries have changed how many people navigate the world.
The 1990s weren’t that long ago, but socially speaking, they might as well be a different universe. What was once shrugged off as normal, harmless, or even funny is now far more likely to raise eyebrows. Looking back can feel uncomfortable at times, but it also highlights just how much society has learned in a relatively short period. This change doesn’t mean the past was all bad or that people were intentionally harmful. Still, standards have changed, as many '90s norms were shaped by limited conversations around mental health, consent, identity, and power dynamics.
Here are 11 things that were socially acceptable in the 1990s that are mostly considered inappropriate today
1. Commenting on a person’s body
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For many millennials, the toxic beauty standards and culture around women’s bodies in the '90s is something that sticks with them even today. From expecting women to fit a certain mold to uplifting unhealthy diet fads, and even commenting on a person’s body, these are some of the things that were socially acceptable in the 1990s that are mostly considered inappropriate.
Even if a person’s intentions were good, like giving someone a compliment about how pretty they are, when they really mean thin or skinny, it’s this kind of language that’s largely been challenged by a more body-positive culture today.
2. Excuses for misbehavior from men
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Phrases like “boys will be boys” that offer loopholes for young boys and men to mistreat women are just some of the things that we’ve left behind, for the most part, in the '90s parenting realm. No longer are women expected to tolerate misbehavior from male peers in the workplace, and for many young girls, tolerating rudeness and being picked on is no longer justified by a type of flirting.
It’s rooted in a form of toxic masculinity that’s still largely present in our culture today, but is still generally challenged and spoken about on a more nuanced level than it was in the '90s.
3. A lack of teacher-student boundaries
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While it’s true that teachers were offered more freedom and creativity in their classrooms in the '90s, compared to modern days, that also largely came with a lack of boundaries and expectations for student-teacher relationships.
Whether that meant contacting students outside of hours, disciplining kids for misbehavior, or feeling free to make comments on a student’s appearance in front of the class, these are some of the things that were socially acceptable in the 1990s that are mostly considered inappropriate today.
4. Diet culture
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While diet culture has largely shifted into a new, more unrecognizable form today, the culture we remember from the '90s is socially unacceptable today. From working out to “make up” for eating, to following restrictive diet routines, and chasing after thinness as an ideal picture of health, our culture today has largely gotten more outspoken about how unhealthy these fads really are.
It’s one of the things that were socially acceptable in the 1990s that are mostly considered inappropriate today, even if we still have room to improve in the realm of beauty standards, health, and diet culture.
5. Suppressing complex emotions
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While there’s still an element of mental health stigma that urges people, especially men, to suppress their emotions and avoid sharing their feelings, it’s largely one of the things that were socially acceptable and expected in the 1990s that are mostly considered inappropriate today.
Not only do we now know that suppressing negative emotions amplifies stress and decreases happiness in our daily lives, as a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology explains, but it’s also a foundational part of balanced relationships today. Vulnerability lies at the heart of new-age marriages and relationships, and without expressing emotions, it’s impossible to achieve.
6. Hustle culture
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For many young millennials and Gen X adults, “hustle culture” has been a way of life. They were expected to cultivate a kind of company loyalty like their parents did, working themselves to the bone and putting career first, even if it meant draining their energy and sabotaging their well-being.
While it was often these dreams of success and unrealistic work ethic expectations that were socially acceptable in the 1990s for workers to sustain, they’re mostly considered inappropriate today. Especially as more millennials and other young generations rewrite expectations for work-life balance, overworking themselves is falling out of the cards.
7. Chalking up mental illness to ‘weakness’
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While millennials who grew up hearing about anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses are far more accepting of seeking help and talking about their well-being than those who didn’t, most struggled to find a safe space to express themselves without immediately being labeled weak.
Today, having the bravery to speak about mental health concerns and seek help is considered a strength, but just a few decades ago, being vulnerable and open about these kinds of struggles was misguidedly labeled as the opposite. It’s one of the things that was expected and socially accepted in the '90s, which is now mostly considered inappropriate to ignore.
8. Calling co-workers after hours
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According to a Deloitte study, more younger generations entering the workforce today are interested in cultivating a healthy work-life balance and protecting their personal time. It’s a stark contrast to the hustle culture of their parents’ work lives, where they often put the well-being of a company or employer above their own well-being and free time.
From calling co-workers after hours to expecting people to come in on the weekends, these are things that were socially acceptable in the 1990s, without many regulations around the workplace, that are now mostly considered inappropriate today.
9. Showing up unannounced
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While some older generations still consider showing up unannounced at people’s homes, whether they’re family or neighbors, to be respectful and acceptable, younger generations today find It completely inappropriate. Even unscheduled phone calls feel like an intrusive overstep, so it’s not surprising that this is one of the societal shifts that has changed in meaning and acceptance.
Of course, this lack of spontaneous social interaction has its own nuanced roots in modern society, but, for the most part, it’s a change in boundaries, personal space, and privacy that has evolved over time.
10. Making assumptions about gender roles
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From waiting to talk to someone’s husband to expecting women to be the stay-at-home parent in relationships, making assumptions about gender roles is one of the things that was socially acceptable in the 1990s that is mostly considered inappropriate today.
Ironically, gender identity is becoming more central and empowering to the way women live their lives across generations today, while it becomes less important to men. So, it’s not necessarily surprising that gender norms and expectations that have weaponized women’s gender identity for malice are no longer growing in popularity for the women they affect most deeply.
11. Not talking about money
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Despite not often talking about money in their families growing up and generally having parents who viewed it as a controversial talking point, many millennials who grew up in the '90s are speaking more openly about finances than any generation.
They’re part of the reason why financial literacy and money are becoming more mainstream, socially acceptable topics, while the same discussions would have been considered inappropriate just a few decades ago. Whether it’s openly sharing your salary or talking about saving money, these are things that used to be avidly avoided at home and out with friends that are now considered normal.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
