11 Things In Someone’s Home That Reveal They Don’t Actually Have Their Life Together
Let’s be honest – does anyone really have their life together?
Josep Suria | Shutterstock Even though it seems like everyone has their lives together – thanks to curated social media feeds and societal pressures – the truth is, hardly anyone does. Like experts from Pacific Neuropsychiatric Specialists suggest, not everyone shares the same struggles, but that doesn’t mean that everyone isn’t dealing with something that’s affecting their mental health, financial stability, relationships, or well-being.
Alongside unhelpful mindsets and lacking intentionality, certain things in someone’s home reveal they don’t have their life together – things that negatively affect mental health and physical wellbeing in subtle ways.
Here are 11 things in someone’s home that reveal they don’t actually have their life together:
1. There are screens in every room
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According to a Stanford report, too much screen time isn’t just detrimental to childhood development; it can also negatively affect adults, reducing their learning capacity, negatively affecting their mood and stress levels, and isolating them from social connections.
Especially when people are overindulging in technology and constantly scrolling to distract themselves from chores, emotions, or responsibilities, they’re one of the things in someone’s home that reveal they don’t have their life together.
2. The laundry and dishes are always piled up
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Oftentimes, the phrase “doesn’t have their life together” implies that people should be responsible for cleaning up, mitigating, and solving all of their struggles personally. However, not only is that unsustainable, it pressures people to feel guilty for not being happy or healthy in the face of intense life struggles – from grief, to mental health concerns, chronic stress, and isolation.
So, piles of laundry and dirty dishes might be a sign that someone doesn’t have the time or energy, but it could also simply be a sign that they haven’t had the chance to practice self-discipline or emotional regulation yet. Just because someone doesn’t “have their life together” doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of respect, and most importantly, dirty laundry doesn’t mean they’ll never grow.
3. Half-finished projects are lying around
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According to psychologist Michael W Wiederman, self-discipline is a practice that needs consistency to grow. When someone overlooks basic tasks, projects, and subtle habits in their lives in favor of other things, they’re reminding themselves that they don’t have the self-discipline or perceived “motivation” to keep a routine.
That’s why half-finished projects are one of the things in someone’s home that reveal they don’t have their life together. Of course, they could be signs that they know how to prioritize what’s important to complete with their limited time, but they most frequently tend to be a sign of someone who lacks consistency and motivation in general.
4. The fridge is full of expired food
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According to a study from the BMC Health Services Research journal, living in a clean environment, free of clutter, dirt, and visual chaos, can boost mental health and general wellbeing, which is why things like expired food are some of the signs that someone doesn’t have their life together. If they don’t have the energy or time to clean out their fridge or throw away their trash, how could they prioritize healthy habits and routines?
Like many of these other signs, just because someone has expired food in their house doesn’t mean they’re not happy, successful, or productive – it’s simply a sign that they’re overlooking some of the basic responsibilities in their life that could add to their mental wellbeing and joy.
5. The bed is never made
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When a person makes their bed, they give themselves a ritual of security – no matter what happens in their day, at work, or with their loved ones, at least they’re coming home and going to sleep in a made bed. Not only has it been shown to improve sleep quality, but it can also boost mental health in general, from reducing anxiety to boosting productivity throughout the day.
Of course, the ritual of making your bed isn’t just a sign that someone has at least some parts of their life together; it also helps to ensure they reap the benefits of living in a clean and clutter-free environment.
6. There's no dedicated workspace
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Many people who don’t have an official workspace in their home struggle with productivity, consistency in their routines, and managing their stress. When they have work to do at home or a remote job, they head to their couch or work right from their bed, oblivious to the ways those habits make them feel more unmotivated and exhausted.
Especially for people working from home, working from a bed or a couch consistently can drain their energy and sabotage their productivity. Not everyone has the financial means, space, or time to invest in a work-from-home desk or office, but having an intentional space, only for work or creative projects, can ensure they’re making the most of their days.
7. There are burnt-out or missing light bulbs
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When dealing with chronic stress, anxiety, or mental health concerns without support, it’s not uncommon for people to struggle with completing basic tasks, like buying and changing a lightbulb in their home. They’re so hyper-focused on trying to mediate and control their emotional turmoil that other things – like chores and responding to texts – feel far too exhausting to complete.
While these missing lightbulbs are often a sign of dysfunction and a lack of self-discipline, missing out on specific lighting in their home as a result can also have subtle consequences on mental health and mood, like a study from the Scientific Reports journal suggests.
8. Dead plants are collecting dust
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Having plants in your home has a number of benefits – from improving air quality to boosting mood and a sense of calmness – but it takes intentionality and care to take care of them. That’s exactly dead plants – that’ve been neglected and overlooked – are some of the things in someone’s home that reveal they don’t have their life together.
Of course, dead plants that lack care could also be a sign of someone who’s struggling with work-life balance or managing their time – two experiences that can negatively impact self-discipline, motivation, energy, and mental health, as a 2022 study suggests.
9. Clutter is stuffed into closets or hidden corners
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Not only does clutter tucked away in hidden spaces and trash stuffed into closets signal bad energy, according to feng shui experts, but it’s also one of the things in someone’s home that reveals they don’t actually have their life together. Rather than address their chores and responsibilities, whether it’s laundry or taking care of their dirty dishes, they put them out of sight, procrastinating and delaying action to protect their comfort.
Unfortunately, this tendency can sometimes seep into a person’s emotional skills, causing them to suppress emotions and avoid hard conversations to avoid discomfort, anxiety, and fear.
10. There’s no calendar or planner anywhere
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Many people who don’t have a digital or physical calendar to track their responsibilities and tasks struggle with emotional overwhelm and anxiety. They’re managing everything happening in their life in their mind – from to-do list tasks, to their weekly schedule, and even personal or emotional thoughts – at the same time, so they’re very quickly overloaded and drained.
According to therapist Loriann Oberlin, calendars and planners do more than serve as home decor and trackers; they’re also sources of motivation, gratitude, energy, and focus that positively influence every aspect of a person’s life.
11. Unopened packages are everywhere
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While there are many reasons why someone might have unopened mail around their home, some of which have nothing to do with a person’s success or wellbeing in life, it can also be one of the things that reveal someone doesn’t have their life together.
Especially if the packages are emblematic of a person’s tendency to overspend – coping with emotions by online shopping or ordering things for convenience – that could be a sign that they don’t have their financial stability or emotional intelligence under control.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
