11 Things That Instantly Annoy People Who Were Actually Raised Right
People who were raised to have consideration for others find it annoying when some don't share their values.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Considering we were all raised by different people according to different principles, we obviously don't all share the same standards regarding how we should navigate the world as adults. People who were raised right were taught basic manners, such as saying "please" and "thank you," the importance of knowing when to listen versus when to speak, and how to treat others with basic respect and decency.
These lessons aren't anything special, but rather the bare minimum, which is why people who were actually raised right often find themselves instantly annoyed when others can't seem to follow suit. To them, if you were raised to be a thoughtful person, the last thing you'd want to be perceived as is offensive. And while not everyone was raised to share these same values, those who were can't help but notice when they're being crossed.
Here are 11 things that instantly annoy people who were actually raised right
1. Putting others down for having different opinions
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Few things annoy people who were raised to have respectful conversations more than someone who can't seem to show understanding and consideration during a disagreement. Instead of allowing the other person to speak and explain their opinion, they'll stoop to mocking or even belittling them just because they may disagree with what the other person is saying. For people who were raised right, witnessing such interaction is annoying.
"Whether with friends, family, coworkers, or even strangers online, the way we manage these disputes is important to not only our relationships but also our well-being. The ability to disagree better isn’t just a skill but a mindset that can improve communication and relationships, creating a more empathetic society," explained licensed psychologist Ray W. Christner.
Not because they expect someone to agree with them, but because they value decency and respect above all else. It is possible to have a healthy and empathetic debate with someone else, even if you aren't on the same side they are. You can disagree with someone while still treating them with kindness, and truthfully, how you're able to handle a conflict shows a lot about your character than anything else.
2. Being rude to service workers
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There's little that reveals someone's character faster than how they treat service workers. From servers at restaurants to food delivery workers, janitors, and coffee shop baristas, just because they work in customer-facing roles doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect as anyone else.
Melanie Morrison, professor of psychology, told the BBC that the "scapegoat theory" can explain why people lash out at service workers. People aren't just going to lash out at family or friends, but rather at the McDonald's worker who unknowingly messed up their order. "People that are working those jobs often do not have a lot of power and so they become easier targets," she said.
People who were raised right understand that politeness is offered to anyone and everyone. It isn't just reserved for authority figures or people who can do something for you. No matter someone's job title, unless they're being outright rude and mean, there's no reason to overlook them. Considering service jobs are exhausting, both physically and mentally, and the workers deal with so much. The last thing they need is to be treated as if they're beneath others.
3. Being habitually late
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People who were actually raised right don't throw a fit when someone is just a few minutes late, because they know that life is unpredictable and things can happen. Whether it's traffic or public transportation that was heavily delayed, they won't hold it against you. However, if you're someone who is chronically late all the time and doesn't seem to care, or even makes jokes about your tardiness, it can annoy individuals who were raised to be considerate of other people's time.
"Being late insults others, but it also undermines the person who is late, because it may betray a lack of intelligence, planning, self-knowledge, willpower, or empathy. For instance, it may be that the person who is late has set unrealistic goals and overpacked their schedule, or underestimated the time that it takes to travel from one place to another," pointed out psychiatrist Neel Burton.
Even when they are running late, it irritates them to know that other people are waiting on them. To them, it's about honoring the commitments they've made, even if they're just going over to a friend's house to watch a movie. If they said they would be there at eight, they will be there exactly at eight.
4. Talking over others
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Conversations aren't meant to be one-sided. If people who were actually raised right are around those who enjoy talking over others like it's not a big deal, it can be quite infuriating for them. That's mainly because their parents and family taught them the importance of manners, and that you wait until someone is done talking or has gotten their thoughts out before jumping in.
"Conversation comes from a word meaning something like intimacy, but abused it’s antisocial, and over-talkers wind up constantly sowing seeds that don’t bear fruit. They want to ingratiate themselves but end up annoying people instead," insisted behavioral specialist Gregg Levoy.
When you're around people who constantly cut you off before you can even get a sentence out, it ends up making you feel invisible. As passionate as you might be, giving someone the space to finish their thoughts is basic consideration and decency. Interrupting all of the time makes it so that people never want to be around you or even have a simple conversation with you. For those that were raised right, that kind of respect isn't something they overlook.
5. Refusing to admit when you're wrong
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Sure, no one enjoys being wrong. For people who were raised right, they know that admitting when you've made a mistake is a sign of how mature and self-aware a person is. They were taught that taking accountability is the best thing they can do to actually grow and learn from their mistakes, which is why those who constantly dodge taking the blame or even flat-out deny their mistakes are often frustrating.
"When people are constitutionally unable to admit they’re wrong, when they cannot tolerate the very notion that they are capable of mistakes, it is because they suffer from an ego so fragile that they cannot sulk and get over it—they need to warp their very perception of reality and challenge obvious facts in order to defend their not being wrong in the first place," explained licensed psychologist Guy Winch.
Being able to recognize your flaws instead of hiding them shows that you're someone who values transparency above all else. You don't run or hide when things don't turn out the way you might've wanted them to. Nobody wants anyone else to be perfect because that doesn't exist, but people do expect honesty when you've made a mistake.
6. Turning an apology into a justification
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An apology shouldn't include a "but." When you do that, you aren't really expressing remorse for your actions but instead trying to make excuses and justifications for why you said or acted in that way. People who were raised right know that a real apology shouldn't include an attempt to make the other person feel as if they are at fault.
"Defending is the most natural reaction when we feel attacked. When we hear from our loved ones that something we did hurt them, it will feel like an attack. But in that moment, they need to know that you hear and understand them without invalidating what their experience was like," said mental health counselor Stephanie Cox.
A genuine apology is taking accountability and not shifting the focus at all. The same way that people who were raised right find it annoying when people can't admit when they're wrong, the same applies to apologies that aren't genuine. It's about being able to acknowledge the harm you've done, not apologizing to protect your image or explain the behavior away.
7. Flaking last minute
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Life can be quite up and down at times, and not being able to make plans sometimes is perfectly normal. But, when someone is consistently flaking on plans last minute without a real reason, it can be such a pointed disregard for other people's time. Those who were raised right know that if you've made plans with someone, there's value in honoring that commitment. If they're unable to, they make sure to communicate it with enough time to possibly reschedule.
However, they find that people who flake on the last minute without taking any accountability for being unreliable, and it annoys them to no end. They don't like seeing it, and they don't like being on the receiving end of it either.
8. Not cleaning up after yourself
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Individuals who were raised right make sure that when they're living in shared spaces, whether it's with college roommates or with their significant other, they clean up after themselves. They don't leave dishes in the sink overnight, and they make sure to clean their hair out of the shower after washing it.
So, when others don't have the same decency to clean up after themselves when they're sharing a space, it can be quite annoying to them. When you live with others or even when you're sharing an office with co-workers, it's basic courtesy to make sure your mess isn't being left for someone else to make right. They respect the space and the people who are using it.
9. Bragging about being 'brutally honest'
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There's such a difference between being someone who is honest and someone who is so honest that it borders on being rude. People who were raised right know the difference and always try to approach situations with honesty that's kind and caring. They don't want to bring someone down or make them feel bad about the choices they make.
If the goal is to actually help someone, then the words you say to that person matter and shouldn't be delivered like a slap in the face. That's why they find people who brag about being brutally honest to be quite annoying, because they do it with the intention of being cruel instead of the intention of genuinely caring about someone's feelings.
10. Gossiping just to stir things up
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While gossiping with friends is common, there's a big difference between gossiping without the intention of it to get around and saying things just to stir the pot. Those who were raised right know that there's nothing entertaining about talking about other people and tearing them down just to have drama. They know that people who act that way are quite untrustworthy.
For them, they were raised to consider their words and refuse to talk just to instigate. They don't need to cause friction in their friend group or with other people just to feel powerful and important. They'd rather have peace than be around people who find enjoyment in talking about others for absolutely no reason at all.
11. Laughing at someone's pain
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Those who were actually raised right find nothing funny about someone struggling or having a hard time. They don't mock someone when they're being vulnerable or make a joke about someone's trauma and disguise it as having dark humor. Instead, they were taught that when someone's hurting, you should offer them compassion or support, and if you don't want to do that, then you just stay silent instead of making things worse.
When they notice people doing the opposite of that to someone who's having a rough time, it truly rubs them the wrong way. For them, they don't get a single ounce of enjoyment from seeing others stumble and fall on their face. The right thing to do in that moment is to check in and show up for that individual, especially because you wouldn't enjoy someone doing something like that to you if you were struggling.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
