11 Things No Strong Woman Will Ever Ask A Man To Do For Her
Any woman who's secure in her relationship will never set unrealistic expectations for her man.
dabyki.nadya | Shutterstock Nobody really has the whole "making a relationship" work thing figured out. But if people have learned anything from their past relationships and by observing others, it's that certain requests made to your partner should be off-limits, especially the ones that are total power moves, put your own insecurities out on display, or are just downright annoying.
When it comes to the things no strong woman will ever ask a man to do for her, it's because she understands what it means to be in an equal partnership. She doesn't hold her man to unrealistic expectations and truly respects who he is as a person. And that, in the end, will create a much stronger relationship.
Here are 11 things no strong woman will ever ask a man to do for her
1. Fight her battles for her
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
Sure, feeling safe with your partner is a must, but that doesn't mean he should step in when it comes to a disagreement you're having with a friend. Creating drama just so that your guy can come to your rescue is weak and unnecessary.
Instead, you can rely on him to vent or seek advice without directly involving him. You don't need him to fight your battles, but you can lean on him for emotional support.
2. 'Prove' his obedience
Violator22 | Shutterstock
It's one thing to ask your partner to pick up a box of feminine products if you're in dire need and he's already stopping at the store. But it's another to send him in there for just that when you're completely capable of securing your own, just so you can tell your friends he actually went through with it.
While asking for a favor in a relationship is a sign of trust and intimacy, according to New York Times bestselling author and happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, there's no need to demand a certain level of "obedience" from your romantic equal.
3. Reveal which of her friends he finds attractive
bbernard | Shutterstock
While this type of conversation may be had in jest behind closed doors, asking a guy — or any romantic partner, for that matter — if he finds your friends attractive is not only inappropriate, but may signal that you don't trust him.
Why on earth do you want this information out of your man? It serves no purpose and can throw a wrench in your relationship. If he tells you which friend he likes the most, you'll hold it against him. If he tells you they're all just okay, he's insulting your friends.
4. Force him to spend less time with his friends
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
One of the major things no strong woman will ever ask a man to do for her is to spend less time with his friends in order to spend more time with you. Even if you don't understand why he wants to spend hours wearing a headset and playing a video game with his pals, he probably doesn't get why you and your friends need to go shopping for an entire day.
As long as he's still making time to spend with you, let him do his thing when the two of you are apart. Besides, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships and often have the same benefits, including improved life satisfaction, a sense of belonging, and a boost in mental health, according to a 2018 study.
5. Invite her to every single social event on his calendar
DavideAngelini | Shutterstock
Your partner has a life outside of the one you share together, as he should. Perhaps he has work events that he attends regularly, and you may find yourself itching to get on the guest list.
But getting uptight over his lack of invite to the happy hour he's headed to with his co-workers, or not being asked to spend football Sunday at the local sports bar with his boys, just makes you look insecure. It's normal to want to attend an event every so often, but expecting to be a VIP guest is unrealistic.
6. Talk 'girl talk' with her
fizkes | Shutterstock
When women get together, they talk about everything. When guys spend time together, they just hang out. Good communication is key in any relationship, but don't get mad at him for zoning out when you try to tell him the story of how your friend's co-worker's new intern was wearing a frumpy grandma sweater at happy hour.
He might be open to hearing the latest gossip in your friend group or from work, but it's not something he wants to take part in. In fact, men tend to find gossip "messy," according to Kelsey McKinney, author and creator of the NormalGossip podcast. "Straight men seem to have the perception that gossip isn't talking about other people. Gossip, to them, is a tone of voice that they avoid at all costs," she revealed.
7. Force him to watch rom-coms
OWL_VISION_STUDIO | Shutterstock
Just like he doesn't force you to watch sports games or YouTube videos on his favorite gaming hacks, you can't expect your man to want to watch romantic comedies or even reality shows.
There are plenty of other shows the two of you can watch together. So, please don't force-feed your man long, drawn-out movies or shows that he has no interest in. It's not only rude, but shows just how out of touch your expectations are.
8. Ask him to change who he is
AYO Production | Shutterstock
Whether it's his appearance, the people he hangs out with, his career, or anything else that makes him who he is, one of the biggest things no strong woman will ever ask a man to do for her is change who he is at his core. According to psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, asking your partner to be someone they're not is problematic.
"When you push your partner to change their fundamental nature, they feel unaccepted and unappreciated. This can lead to frustration, withdrawal, and even emotional distance," he said. Don't think of a partner as a "project" when they should be your equal.
9. Get him to talk badly about his family
BearFotos | Shutterstock
No matter what kind of nightmare his mother is, or regardless of how obvious it is that his cousin has substance dependency issues, it's not your place to get involved. Unless your guy brings it up — in which case, you should still tread lightly — his family's level of dysfunction isn't on the table for gossip.
Getting him to disparage his family is one of the things no strong woman will ever ask a man to do for her, because she knows it's not appropriate and doesn't help the situation. Instead of trying to get him to turn on his family, you should offer support and be his rock.
10. Post a lot of pictures together on social media
Jose Calsina | Shutterstock
If you're dating someone long-term and there's no sign of you anywhere on his social media accounts, it might be considered a little suspicious by his friends. But getting mad when he won't post that picture he took of the two of you post-morning cuddle is pretty ridiculous, and is a bit too much for your followers.
Psychology professor Omri Gillath explained that revealing too much of your relationship online can damage your bond and intimacy, saying that "disclosing or sharing information online can do more harm to romantic relationships than good." So, do yourself and your partner a favor by keeping those moments private.
11. Force him to go on double dates
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock
Just because you and your best friend are both dating someone doesn't mean your partner is going to get along swimmingly with your friend's other half — and frankly, he shouldn't have to. Every now and then it's fine, but having your date night consistently be a four-person affair where both men struggle to find something to talk about is bound exhausting.
While there are certainly benefits to going on double dates, according to research published in Society for Personality and Social Psychology, there are also good things about having a one-on-one date night. As licensed couples counselor Kari Rusnak explained, date nights boost connection and lets you have fun together. And that's way more important.
Danielle Page is a writer, editor, and content strategist who has written about relationships, career, finance, and beauty topics. Her work has appeared on USA Today, The New York Times, Business Insider, Cosmopolitan, Healthline, and many others.
