People Who Are Deeply Unhappy Usually Send These 11 Text Messages
It's hard to hide a bad mood, especially over text.
HBRH | Shutterstock Unhappiness and general life dissatisfaction is at a record high, according to a Gallup survey, but the causes and consequences of this mood are far less succinct. From screen time, to sociopolitical tensions, social anxiety, mental health stigma, and even dating culture, there are a million reasons why people are struggling with more stress, anxiety, and unhappiness than ever, but it tends to manifest in even more nuanced ways from person-to-person.
While obvious mood changes or a reliance on avoidance are common signs of unhappiness, even subtle things like changing their communication habits, both online and in-person, can be telling. When it comes to communication patterns online, people who are deeply unhappy usually send these specific text messages — all of which can be clues into how a person is feeling, even if they don't say it outright.
Here are 11 text messages people who are deeply unhappy usually send
1. 'I'm just tired'
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According to a study from Psychiatry Research Communications, many people who experience depression symptoms and moods are stuck in a cycle of constant fatigue. Not only are their brains overloaded with negative self-talk, information, and stress or anxiety, they often fall into poor habits — like going to bed late, avoiding social connection, or indulging in too much screen-time — that exacerbate their exhaustion.
People who are deeply unhappy usually send these kinds of text messages, not as a call for help or a signal of an extremely serious mental health concern, but because they are. Everyone's tired, everyone's stressed, and communicating with others can relieve some of the consequences, like a bad mood, that make finding belonging and shared experiences more difficult.
2. 'I don't care'
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While worrying too much about everyday life, and even about personal happiness and mood in general, can spark unhappiness, not caring at all is often one of the signs of someone who's struggling. People who are deeply unhappy usually send text messages like "I don't care" because they've lost interest in the things they otherwise would care about.
Whether it's a lack of engagement with hobbies or interests they'd normally love or simply removing themselves from conversations with loved ones, sometimes a lack of interest in texts is more representative of how a person's feeling than they let on.
3. 'You wouldn't understand'
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According to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, feeling consistently misunderstood in everyday life can lower life satisfaction, spark more stress, and sabotage motivation in everyday life. So, it's not surprising that people who are deeply unhappy usually send text messages like this one, as they've fallen into a routine of feeling dismissed, misunderstood, and isolated.
Part of the reason why many people are stuck in this cycle of consistent unhappiness is their avoidance. Rather than having hard conversations, expressing their emotions and concerns, and acknowledging the roots behind their feelings of being misunderstood, they lean on avoidance rituals, like a 2005 study suggests, that only further exacerbates their discomfort.
4. 'Everything is draining my energy'
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Whether they're talking about personal relationships or work, sending texts about "drained energy" and feeling "burnt out" is one of the telltale signs that someone is in a cycle of unhappiness. According to a study from the Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care, stressful and overwhelming routines and lifestyles not only heighten stress and fatigue, but negatively affect mental health and general mood.
So, if someone is constantly complaining about being overworked or taking on the emotional labor in their relationships, it could be a sign that they're actually deeply unhappy, exhausted by internal burdens, stress, and anxiety.
5. 'Sorry, I didn't see this text'
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While there are certainly situations where someone didn't respond because they weren't on their phone or missed a text, messages like this one can also be signs that someone might be struggling with their mental health and avoiding communication.
According to a study from Chronic Stress, unhappy people dealing with chronic stress are dealing with an overload of information in the brain, causing other things like decision-making, social skills, and general mood to suffer.
While it may not be intentional, things like consistently ignoring or forgetting to respond to text messages can further isolate unhappy people, considering many people feel unimportant, rejected, and unvalued when someone doesn't respond to their texts.
6. 'Thanks for putting up with me'
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Many people stuck in unhappy cycles and moods don't have the self-esteem and self-discipline to pull themselves out, especially when they're triggered by poor habits, unresolved trauma, or toxic relationships, rather than diagnoses.
They use phrases like "thanks for putting up with me" in casual and seemingly funny ways, even when they're rooted in low self-esteem and insecurity. They don't want other people to view them as an emotional burden, in the same way they believe their own needs, emotions, and feelings are.
7. 'Sorry for being so annoying'
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Whether it's double-texting or being overly eager to respond, many people who are deeply unhappy or struggling with internal insecurity use phrases like "sorry for being annoying" over the phone that dismiss and invalidate their own needs. Their insecurities bubble to the surface in the face of anxiety or fear, causing them to overexplain, apologize, and sometimes retreat to cope.
Even though people with social anxiety and insecurities tend to favor digital communication to craft texts and regulate their emotions in time, according to a study from the Journal of Affective Disorders, they can still fall victim to habits like overapologizing that sabotage their connections and keep them stuck in a bad mood cycle.
8. 'Sorry, I was sleeping'
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According to a study from Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, many people experiencing depression or depressive symptoms battle with irregular sleep patterns and a constant feeling of exhaustion or fatigue during the day, even when they'd gotten enough sleep. They're often battling a constant stream of thoughts, information, and emotional turmoil, exhausting them before they even have a chance to do anything.
Another study from the University of Michigan also found that irregular sleep patterns in general can spark bad moods, depression, and chronic stress. So, even for people that don't have a history of mental health concerns or struggles, behaviors and habits that reveal poor sleeping patterns could be signs that they're deeply unhappy.
9. 'I'll sit this one out'
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According to a PLOS One study, regularly interacting with people socially, cultivating relationships, and practicing communication with others often sparks a kind of social belongingness that's fundamental to strong mental health.
When an unhappy person intentionally avoids social interactions and events on a regular basis — isolating themselves not just from new connections, but friends and loved ones — by using texts like this one, it could be a red flag. While their avoidance tendencies may be superficial and not a sign of a larger mental health concern, a pattern of this behavior can spark social isolation consequences that could develop into something bigger.
10. 'I look so bad today'
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Low self-esteem is often linked to depression, according to a study from Frontiers in Psychiatry, but that doesn't mean that every unhappy person is struggling with their mental health on the same scale. Simply struggling with personal style, body image, or self-esteem in a relationship can also spark unhappy tendencies like negative self-talk and irritability.
People who are deeply unhappy usually send these kinds of self-critical text messages, because even when they're alone without distractions, they're still faced with emotional chaos, mental turmoil, and anxiety.
11. 'Sorry if that was too much'
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Many people who are chronically unhappy struggle to achieve the connection, communication, and vulnerability they need to thrive — both with themselves and in relationships. Even when they do express themselves or voice a concern, they're using phrases or texts like this to backtrack and justify their own needs.
It's this tendency toward overexplaining and saying "sorry" too often that keeps unhappy people stuck in toxic cycles where they struggle to truly emotionally connect with others without hints of low self-esteem, embarrassment, and insecurity.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
