11 Things Genuinely Secure People Never Brag About, Even Though They Could
A secure person would never brag about these things.
Dana Keli / Shutterstock We've all seen the myriad articles that talk about all the signs of insecurity. It’s easy to spot an insecure person. You often know it when you see it. If you don’t see it, don’t worry, insecure people will let you know through the things they say.
Insecure people are loud. The brag. They overshare. Secure people are often the opposite. They tend to avoid bragging about things simply because they don’t see it as a big deal. Many of the things secure people keep mum about might surprise you, especially if you’re insecure about these things. These 11 are the ones that stand out to me as the things that confident, secure people never discuss.
Here are 11 things genuinely secure people never brag about, even though they could
1. Money
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This is an old “manners” rule that has become more or less a survival mode rule for the wealthy and well off. In recent years, people have stopped being polite and started to talk about their finances, if only for their own personal needs.
The only ones who tend to remain quiet are the ones who are very secure in their finances. They often just don’t want to make others feel bad.
2. Their weight
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Many people tend to brag about their weight or their muscle mass as a way to try to get people to compliment them. This is especially true if you’ve been working to lose weight.
Secure people often realize they look good. So they don’t bring up their weight or their muscles. They know they’re fine.
3. Their job
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There are a lot of people who define themselves by what they do and how they do it. Part of the reason for this is the toxic way our society praises career work. It’s a major issue that makes people assume they’re worthless without a flashy job.
People who don’t have a good personal life often bury themselves in work, leading to them bragging about what they do for a living. A person who is content with their life will not do that, nor will they rub their job in someone else’s face.
4. Their religion
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Most of the time, it’s fairly unusual to meet someone who constantly brags about going to church. However, they’re out there, and they often seem to target people who seem shaken in their faith.
Psychologists note that bragging is meant to make the listener feel insecure, as a way to project the braggart’s insecurities onto others. In other words, a person who’s bragging about their spirituality is likely either lost in their own faith, resentful of their own actions, or trying to fleece you by looking more moral than they are.
5. Their good deeds
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The majority of people are aware that bragging about what a good person you are is often a warning sign. Much like with bragging about religious piety, bragging about your kindness tends to indicate that the braggart is trying to hide foul deeds they’ve done.
People like this are often trying to boost themselves up as a moral authority because they feel insecure. As my friend put it, “The people who keep talking about how good they are tend to be the ones you really gotta watch out for.”
6. Being scary
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Have you ever met someone who brags about being feared or being scary? This should be a major warning sign, primarily because it means that the person in question may be insecure to the point of posing a danger to other people.
People who brag about being feared or being cruel to others are the type of people who view kindness as weakness. They are also generally insecure people who will go out of their way to harm others as a way to show dominance.
A secure, healthy person doesn’t want to be feared. They want to be loved. So, if you hear this, make sure you run the other way.
7. Being invited to parties
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It’s no secret that having lots of friends has become a major status symbol in recent years, simply because our society is facing a loneliness crisis. Speaking as a person who has done this before, people who tend to brag about being invited out with the “cool kids” are often the most desperate for people to want to be around them.
Secure people won’t behave that way. They may, however, mention attending a party if they want to tell a funny story.
8. Who they know
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Oh, this is a classic sign of a problematic person if you’re in glitzy circles. People who name-drop others are often the people that everyone else avoids at a high-end party. They’re the clingers-on, the ones who want fame by association.
People who are very secure in themselves don’t care if their friends are famous or not. They just want to have good people around them and don’t care if other people view them as glitterati or not.
9. Their personal belongings
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This type of bragging seems to be all over the music industry. Rockers, rappers, and DJs all love to boast about owning a Ferrari, a Maserati, and maybe a really fancy watch that no one sane really cares about.
There is an entire luxury market that is devoted to helping people buy things to impress others. Whether it’s Supreme shirts or something more pricey, the fact is that they’re all there to show how cool they are by the items they wear.
10. Their intelligence (and/or) education
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Maybe it’s just the Dunning-Krueger effect in action, or maybe it’s just the way the internet is built. Regardless of the why, it’s clear that a lot of insecure people tend to be the ones most vocal about how intelligent they are.
Truly intelligent individuals don’t talk about how smart they are or what school they went to. The reason is that they often don’t actually think they’re that smart, because they view their accomplishments as fairly easy to achieve.
11. Their dating life
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It’s become a trope at this point, hasn’t it? It’s often the most gnarly, obviously single people who tend to brag the most about their dates, the people interested in them, and the wild escapades they have.
From personal experience, the people who brag about it tend to be the ones who make up the most stuff. They’re trying to let others know they’re desirable, even if it’s by doing one of the most undesirable things they can do.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
