People Who Get Exhausted By Everyone As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Isolation and loneliness are incredibly common in aging populations.
fizkes | Shutterstock While it's common for people to experience social isolation and loneliness to a higher degree as they get older for a range of social, psychological, and environmental reasons, according to the National Institute on Aging, there are also a number of other reasons why they may choose to be alone. From being overwhelmed by the emotional labor of investing in new relationships to solidifying their personal beliefs, there are perfectly valid reasons people who get exhausted by everyone as they get older usually have.
Of course, these reasons play into the systemic loneliness older people face, but they're also partially fueled by personal choice. As people evolve, solidify the kind of behavior they're willing to tolerate, and figure out what kind of life they want to live, they don't mind shifting their relationships and the people in their lives to avoid fatigue as well.
Here are 11 reasons people who get exhausted by everyone as they get older usually have
1. They're burnt out
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Burnout can manifest in a number of ways, according to a study from World Psychiatry, but it's most commonly characterized by a sense of physical exhaustion and fatigue. People who are burnt out from personal responsibilities or overworking themselves in a job generally prefer to stay home and recharge, which is why they grow exhausted by everyone around them.
As they get older, especially without the right coping mechanisms or rest, this burnout can make exhaustion more extreme, sparking isolation, loneliness, and other mental health struggles. That's why it's so important for them to make time for self-care and focus on their own needs.
2. They're isolated from family
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Being isolated from the people that generally fill you up and add value to your life can make you feel lonely and tired. Especially when you're forced to continue living — going to work, making new friends, keeping up with your responsibilities — without their guidance, support, and love, it's no surprise that this is one of the reasons people who get exhausted by everyone as they get older usually have.
Whether they've lost their loved ones, drifted apart from them, or made the uncomfortable decision to go "no contact," isolation from family and close friends can make simply surviving that much more fatiguing.
3. They've drifted away from their social circle
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It's natural for people to drift away from their social circle and close friendships as they get older, especially as their value systems, boundaries, and beliefs change and evolve. However, being forced to make new connections, unlearn toxic behaviors from previous relationships, and "put yourself back out there," particularly when you genuinely enjoy alone time, can feel exhausting.
People who get exhausted by everyone as they get older usually have this as a reason for not being social, including a sleuth of unhelpful and draining experiences from unhealthy relationships in their past.
4. They're battling physical or mental limitations
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According to the National Institute on Aging, it's not uncommon for aging people to experience mental and physical fatigue as they get older, in ways that can make socializing and meeting new people more difficult.
Whether it's cognitive decline, physical ailments like an illness or mobility issues, or simply a need for assistance and support at home, it's one of the reasons people who get exhausted by everyone as they get older usually have.
5. They prefer deep and meaningful connections
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If they're isolated from their closest friends and only ever have superficial connections with their peers, caretakers, co-workers, or family members, it's not uncommon for people to feel exhausted by everyone as they get older.
According to a study from Psychology and Aging, as people get older, they tend to prefer deeper conversations and conversations over superficial ones, meaning they're constantly drained by small talk and social isolation when they don't have the opportunity to truly connect with people.
6. They're more self-aware
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According to a study from Psychology and Aging, self-assurance and awareness tend to grow with age, especially as people experience more things, form relationships, and navigate change that alters their perceptions of themselves, others, and the world.
People who get exhausted by everyone as they get older do so because their self-awareness is stronger than ever, and they're more intuitive to the energy of the people around them. This shift with age could also be the reason they drift away from some relationships and friends, as they can sense other people's social energy and recognize when it's no longer valuable in their lives.
7. They're introverts
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While it's true that introverts still do enjoy and engage in certain social activities and interactions, they generally need alone time and solitude to recharge their social battery and engage in their personal meaningful hobbies.
People who get exhausted by everyone as they get older have these reasons: they prefer their alone time and engaging in their unique passions, rather than investing time and energy into superficial connections that will only end up draining them in the long run.
8. They have strong boundaries
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According to the Mayo Clinic Health System, strong boundaries are only truly effective and fulfilling when they're respected by others, which is why people who get exhausted by everyone as they get older are struggling to find people to live up to their standards.
They refuse to tolerate behaviors and relationships that don't align with their values, boundaries, and needs, so they're generally exhausted quicker by entertaining superficial relationships.
9. They refuse to people-please
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People-pleasers, who generally put their own needs to the side to keep the peace in conversations, relationships, and social situations, are generally fueled by insecurity and unresolved trauma. However, as people age, they tend to heal those parts of their personalities, making people-pleasing less of a priority over setting boundaries or investing in personal growth.
While refusing to please people may protect people from toxic behaviors and relationships, it can be exhausting in its own way, sparking conflict and tension in situations that might have been avoided with a people-pleaser present, no matter how toxic it was for them.
10. They know what they like
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According to psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, as people age, they tend to grow less open-minded about new experiences, values, and relationships, and more protective of the things that they like and enjoy. They're less likely to try to endlessly "fit in" with others or seek external validation, so engaging with people who don't align with those values can be exhausting.
Even if they're open to having conversations about differing opinions and perspectives, it's more exhausting on a superficial level than having and investing time into a relationship with misaligned values.
11. They're bored
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Especially in our current digital age, social media and technology can reduce aging people's sense of meaning, desire for connection, and comfort with boredom, at least according to a study from Communications Psychology.
People who get exhausted by everyone as they get older usually act this way because they're bored of trying to form new connections and relationships with other people, especially considering they prefer deep and meaningful ones.
Even if it's something as simple as going to a new friend's party or networking with co-workers, they'd prefer their alone time or relationships that add value to their lives and recharge their batteries.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
