The Simple Skill To Master If You Want The Life Of Your Dreams

Photo: Edward Eyer, Anikona | Canva
Woman reaching her goals, happy

Not long ago, I meat a woman who was recently retired and trying to find a new life direction. She had money — she had already become a multimillionaire after selling her company. But she wanted more.

Looking ahead, she was unispired, bored and feeling emotionally paralyzed. All she had focused on for so many years was income. Now what?

After crossing her own "financial finish line," as millions of us aspire to — instead of booking a five-star spa vacation — she hit a dead end. Her expected magical sense of fulfillment and completion was missing and had left her feeling deflated and lost.

Is it possible getting there was more fun than any final result? It is when you haven't kept sight of who you are along the journey.

The many small compromises made along her route to success cost her sense of self. Like many others, she bought into the misguided illusion of "I'll be happy when ... " and then felt hollow once she arrived at "when".

How could she build the life of her dreams, now that her main "dream" had been achieved? 

It is possible to keep our authentic dreams alive, be mega-successful in business, and genuinely feel happy along the way.

There's one way to do this — you need to keep your authentic self at the center of every choice you make. The good news is, it's possible to start early in your career (or life) or, like the woman I talked about in the beginning, as soon as you realize you're not where you want to be in life. 

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How to keep the 'true you' at the center of your life 

1. Transform goals into transitions, not destinations.

Raising children is highly stressful and can provide meaningfulness to our lives but not always "happiness". Similarly, retirees and "empty nesters" find themselves lost or in despair once alone without a specific goal, purpose, or direction.

However, relief comes when we let go of any notion of one ultimate finish line and allow ourselves to enjoy the never-ending leap from one life chapter to the next.

2. Let every moment truly count.

Einstein theorized a "continuum" of time because, as far as we know, there are no missing points in space or instants in time. This translates to each moment being as relevant (and potentially whole) in and of itself as any other. Highly successful people use this awareness to enjoy all of their moments (big and small) and squeeze sweeter "feel-good juice" out of every experience and interaction.

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3. Celebrate every step.

Change happens (endlessly)! Learning to appreciate every baby step and stage of development while acknowledging the relevant growth in each step is crucial to attaining wisdom and enjoying life. Savoring (and welcoming) ongoing change helps you feel stable as inevitable, unexpected turns in life occur. Flexibility supports longevity in any relationship or venture.

4. Choose "authentic" over "busy."

Keeping an overbooked schedule is not more meaningful or important, nor is it a benchmark of success.

Conscious living is an active contributor in everything you do, whether you're a mom, CEO, or non-profit volunteer. Use your capacities to receive from life and share your time, skills, and knowledge. Staying "busy" keeps your wheels spinning, but a powerful, positive presence helps you go somewhere.

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5. Remember and rediscover your true self. 

Through many stages of life, our identity, style, and nature change to adapt to stress. We get into trouble when we alter our voice — both the inner voice that directs us and the outer voice that speaks up for what we believe — and sense of self to compromise and conform.

Although seemingly an honorable self-sacrifice to keep the peace for the family or one's workplace, it leads to resentment, regret, and even illness. And after a while, you lose your authentic self, which only you can reclaim.

Most of us feel "lost," from time to time, in the tunnel vision of daily details or hyper-focus on a specific goal or outcome. Learning to celebrate and balance your work, home, health, and family while cultivating daily fun time supports easier transitions into later post-goal chapters of life.

Let yourself leap fearlessly into what feels good in each moment without knowing what the future holds ... this is what our whole earth's existence is about!

There is a thrill in nothing ending or any one point in time being "everything." I love knowing no matter what, I always have new possibilities to eagerly anticipate in the endless game of life.

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Cathleen Miller is an Intuitive Energy Practitioner & Intuitive Lifestyle Expert who works with clients internationally and also creates and leads world-class body-mind wellness retreats for top Condé Nast resorts.