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No one has it all figured out.
By Unwritten — Written on Mar 04, 2023
By Candice Zhang
Remember when we were kids and had so many dreams? We would say, “I’ll do this before I’m twenty,” or “I’ll be this when I grow up.”
However, as you grow older, you begin to realize that your dreams will only be dreams. You spend your youth dying to fit in, vying to get into your chosen college, and working to make your dreams come true.
But for many, these dreams do not manifest.
These dreams can later become nightmares — traumas that haunt us in our memories. We run away from them, not wanting to face them head-on. We run in the other direction, often not knowing what it entails.
In this moment of life, it seems that all of our friends have moved on. No one is around us, supporting us during our journeys.
If only I continued on, we would think.
While you’re looking around, it seems as if everyone else has it better. People are planning for their honeymoon, many are traveling, and some are settling into their careers.
At the same time, you feel lost and unsure of where to go. Life feels like a battle, and it constantly feels like you’re losing.
When you look around, it seems as if everyone else is winning.
But here’s the thing: There are over 8 billion people in this world. This means that there are over 8 billion journeys. We all face different challenges which we cannot control.
But whatever the situation is, we are all taught to work hard and be successful in this society.
In the age of social media, success is defined by our financial wealth, relationships, and career goals. When we feel we are missing one of those categories in our lives, we automatically assume we’re lost.
But in reality, success means so much more than that.
Assuming that everyone else has it better based on a couple of social media influencers and a small group of acquaintances is not an accurate reflection of every person. The friend who saved up and bought a new car does not have the same priorities as you. The other friend who got a new full-time position may not end up enjoying their job.
But moreover, many of these individuals are going through their own battles.
Although it may seem that some people have everything you want, they may be longing for something you have instead. Your friend with a full-time job may want to have a supportive partner but doesn’t. The friend with an expensive car may be unsure of their future.
So, even if they shared a few highlights of their lives, they’re in the same boat as you. You’re all navigating the treacherous waters together.
So, when you feel lost, just remember these statements:
No one has it all figured out.
Everyone is on their own journey and has their own goals. We’re all learning to navigate this world while facing adversity on our own terms.
Nothing is constant.
It may seem that nothing is working out at the moment, but it won’t be like this in the next three months. The world is constantly changing, and we learn to grow with it. So if you feel you’re stuck in a rut, remember that tomorrow won’t be the same as today.
Never give up on your true values.
When you’re lost, you may want to switch to a new path. But in the end, you’ll learn that you’re facing a couple of roadblocks that could be cleared with time. Remind yourself that you were searching for adventure, and give yourself a pat on the back for getting outside your comfort zone.
In this day and age, we all feel judged. We are blinded by our choices, feeling as if we’re lagging behind. We all have our own regrets and do not realize that the people around us do as well.
In the end, we’re all in this together; we all try our best to figure it out and navigate these obstacles one step at a time.
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Candice Zhang is a writer who focuses on relationships, health and wellness, and current events. Her work has been featured in Unwritten, Her Campus, The Strand, and others.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.