11 Signs Someone Is A Deeply Kind Person With A Soft Heart, According To Psychology
These behaviors reveal a truly kind soul who leads with compassion, even when nobody's looking.
Tabitha Turner | Unsplash Today, more than ever, there is a need for us all to work harder at emulating the characteristics of kindness. The trauma of living in the modern world with its rigid bipartisan animosities, the disappearance of civility and grace, the rise of mental illnesses, and the escalated reduction of personal connection due to social media makes it more important than ever before to make sure we know how to be kind.
But while many people may think that being "nice" is the same as kindness, it couldn't be more different. Because kindness isn't just how you act, it's how you carry yourself in your daily life.
With everything that seems so wrong, we must be kind to the people around us, those we know and those we don’t. By acting kindly toward one another, we can make the world a little bit better place.
What qualities are markers of someone who is deeply kind with a soft heart? People with these specific qualities possess kindness character traits, truly understand the meaning of kindness, and know how to be genuinely compassionate.
Here are eleven signs someone is a deeply kind person with a soft heart, according to psychology:
1. They're self-compassionate and rarely judge
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People who are kind are usually self-compassionate. Someone who knows how to be kind to themselves is someone who is likely to behave kindly toward others as well.
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing themselves for their shortcomings, people with self-compassion are kind and understanding to themselves when confronted with personal failings. They understand that they are just a person in the world, working hard to be the best person they can be in spite of sometimes insurmountable odds.
Once a person can be truly aware of the humanness of themselves, they can more easily be kind to others because they know that other people have their own personal issues, needs, and stories, and that they deserve our compassion.
Research has concluded that there is a strong correlation between self-compassion and lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. While judgment is a natural human tendency, it's possible to cultivate self-compassion and mindful awareness.
2. They're resilient and bounce back quickly
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People who are kind, more often than not, are people who have struggled with hardship themselves. They have gone through it and back, and they've survived.
People who have suffered tend to be truly grateful for all they have, particularly the human connections that keep them afloat. People who have struggled are aware of the suffering of others because they have suffered themselves and are, as a result, kind to those who are currently in need.
We've all heard stories of people dealing with extreme adversity who, despite their difficult circumstances, consistently reach out to help others in need. They are well aware that, were it not for the kindness of strangers, they may not have made it to where they are in the world today, and they give back at every opportunity they get.
3. They're present and attuned to other people
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People who are kind are people who are consciously awake. People who are awake are living in the minute, paying attention to those around them and willing to recognize all that is good in the world.
How can someone whose head is down, focused on their phone, even notice when there is an opportunity to be kind? How can someone who is always looking ahead to what is next see when someone right in front of them could use their kindness, right now? How can we be willing to be kind if we are obsessed with things that are toxic?
How about you? When was the last time you looked up from your phone and noticed when someone needed your kindness? Do you look out for opportunities to be kind to those in need or do you keep your head down and ignore those who might use a helping hand? Stop. Pay attention. Be kind.
Research has shown that kindness and similar traits like compassion and empathy foster an environment conducive to present moment awareness. By shifting focus outwards, reducing negative self-talk, cultivating empathy, activating specific brain regions, and promoting positive emotions, kindness may enhance the ability to remain present and engaged in the world around us.
4. They're generous and give without expectation
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People who are generous are most often so because they realize all of the gifts that they have in this world. They know how lucky they are and want to share their luck and love with others.
You know that person — the person who doesn’t have a lot of time to give but spends four hours each week volunteering at the homeless shelter. That person could be using their time to watch TV or drink beer with friends, but instead, they are being generous with their time so they can be kind to others.
That person knows that the best way for them to unwind is to be generous with their time in the service of others. By doing so, they feel better about themselves and make the world a better place.
5. They're grateful and recognize the gifts they have
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Kind people recognize their gifts and know how lucky they are to have the life they have. Because they are grateful, they can help people who are struggling see the good in the world, recognize the gifts in their own lives, and reach for the happiness they want.
They have a clear picture of what contentment looks like and can guide others towards that light. People who take their life for granted, who seek adulation and material riches, who don’t recognize how lucky they are to have what they have, are people who aren’t likely to see the good in the world.
They will struggle to be kind because the world is all about what is lacking. And because of that, they will never be happy.
Every day I wake up in my beautiful house, laugh at my silly dog, and celebrate having found the love of my life. I know that I am supremely lucky, and it helps me be the truly kind and compassionate person I am, personally and professionally.
6. They're honest and speak truth with tact
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People who are kind have the vital trait of honesty and truthfulness. They value truthfulness and transparency in interactions with others and are always sincere in their own words and actions. They understand that honesty builds trust and fosters genuine connections.
Kind people speak the truth with tact and compassion, and consider the impact their words may have on others. By being honest, they demonstrate integrity and create an environment where others feel safe and valued. Their honesty stems from a genuine desire to build trust and maintain open communication with others.
The combination of a strong moral compass, empathy, value-driven behavior, reduced cognitive burden, and social rewards contributes to the natural tendency of kind individuals to remain honest. Research has found that being honest allows for genuine communication and helps avoid the complications and potential damage that can arise from deception.
7. They're authentic and don't put on a front
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Authenticity is a defining trait of kind individuals. Kind people embrace who they are fully and encourage other people to do the same. Rather than put up a front, they don't pretend to be someone they are not, choosing instead to value sincerity and empathy.
Kind people are comfortable in their skin, fostering a sense of acceptance and helping others feel valued for who they truly are. They openly celebrate how everyone is unique and their individuality, and therefore create a sense of belonging to those around them.
8. They're understanding and respectful of other people's time
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Whether it's in a romantic relationship, friendship, or familial bond, kind people treat others with respect, dignity, and never cross boundaries. They actively listen when people are talking, and are sure to hear the perspectives of all angles.
People who are kind understand that everyone should be treated with compassion, and outwardly express their respect for others through their words and behaviors. By being respectful, they prove that differences should be celebrated, not judged, and create peaceful environments.
9. They're non-judgmental and open to new ideas
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People who are kind can keep an open mind, no matter what they are doing or who they are engaging with. Because they truly understand that everyone is unique and has their own experiences and challenges, they refrain from making judgments.
Kind people are empathetic in nature and make it their mission to be accepting of the differences in opinion or perspective. They listen to what someone is saying without jumping to conclusions, effectively making other people feel welcome and accepted.
Mindfulness, the practice of observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, is a key component of a non-judgmental attitude. A 2021 study found that kind individuals may naturally possess a greater capacity for this type of awareness, allowing them to witness experiences without immediately labeling them as 'good' or 'bad.'
10. They're optimistic and have an unusually sunny disposition
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When you maintain a positive outlook on life, refuse to see the bad in any situation or person, and are open to positive change and personal growth, you are a kind person. Kind people are incredibly optimistic, inspiring hope and motivating people around them with their positivity. Their sunny disposition uplifts others, especially during struggles or difficulties.
And while kind people tend to always be happy, that's not to say they don't have negative emotions from time to time. After all, they are human, too, and, like everyone else, may be filled with sadness or doubts from time to time. However, it's their underlying kindness and positivity that drive them forward.
11. They're trustworthy and reliable with their word
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People who are kind are incredibly trustworthy, whether it's keeping a secret from a friend, being reliable, or offering emotional support when someone is in need. They consistently follow through on promises and commitments and are fully dependable at all times.
Kind people have a genuine and deep-rooted concern for others' well-being, which allows them to form relationships built on trust and security. This also means that other people feel comfortable confiding in and relying on them for support.
Research has found that this perception of trustworthiness and reliability is cultivated by a sense of safety, promoting constructive conflict resolution, and encouraging honesty and authenticity from others.
If you look around this world full of conflict and hatred, and you are wondering what you can do, cultivating kindness is a gift both to yourself and to those around you.
The next time you see someone struggling, step forward and reach out your hand. Recognize that while suffering may be the human condition, within it, there remains hope for joy and acceptance.
Be kind to everyone you encounter and make the world a better place along the way. If you can make a difference in the life of even one person, what a gift that will be.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
