Self-Centered People Almost Always Do These 11 Things Before Leaving The House
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock While we often demonize selfishness and evidence of entitlement in the world around us, a study from Psychological Science suggests that most people are becoming more individualistic in our world. There’s a shifting of the scales, where most of us are focused on our own needs, responsibilities, and interests rather than appeasing others. While these selfish attitudes are often subtle and harmless, self-centered people almost always do certain things before leaving the house.
Even when they’re alone, getting ready for the day, or heading out to run errands, their behaviors and habits are informed by their sense of selfishness. While some are harmless to other people in their lives, others can strain relationships and cause disconnection quickly.
Self-centered people almost always do these 11 things before leaving the house
1. Stand in front of the mirror for hours
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Even if it’s just catching glimpses of themselves in the reflection of storefront windows while walking to work or looking into their compact mirror in the car, self-centered people almost always do these things. They can’t help but catch their own reflection and appreciate their own beauty.
While this kind of self-confidence and appreciation has a million benefits for boosting well-being and life satisfaction, the truth is that self-centered behaviors that waste and disrespect other people’s time have consequences. If they’re spending so much time looking in the mirror while getting ready that they show up late to plans and commitments, they’re sabotaging their connections.
2. Imagine the compliments they’ll receive
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When you’re constantly seeking external validation from others in the form of compliments or engagement online, your self-esteem and self-worth aren’t coming from inside, but are instead wrapped up in other people’s opinions and behaviors. When you’re isolated or not getting the attention from others you seek out, you’re pushed into a spiral of insecurity that sabotages personal relationships and well-being.
Whether it’s framing their outfit choices or makeup around the compliments they’re trying to get from others, or seeking out praise after getting ready, it’s these subtle things that self-centered people always think about before they leave the house.
3. Ask everyone else what they’re wearing
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Of course, caring about people’s opinions and trying to relate to them with shared experiences is healthy to an extent, but when you’re constantly comparing yourself or trying to “one-up” everyone else, it can quickly backfire. That’s why selfish people tend to suffer in their routines when they craft every decision around what everyone else is doing.
They don’t leave the house until they ask everyone what they’re wearing and carefully curate their outfits to match the vibe or outperform everyone else. They hardly work from a place of authenticity, because they’re too internally uncomfortable to lean into it.
4. Change a million times
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According to a study from the University of Chicago, self-centered people are often motivated by loneliness — trying desperately to lean into performative confidence to preserve and protect themselves. Even if it’s changing their outfit a million times before leaving the house or finding ways to shift attention in a conversation to themselves, they’re always thinking about how they’re being perceived by others.
While this is often rooted in insecurity — like other self-centered and narcissistic tendencies — they play on the misguided sense of superiority and self-assuredness to feel charismatic.
5. Do more than necessary, even when running late
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Even though people who are chronically late are often framed as inherently disrespectful for wasting other people’s time, the truth behind their struggling punctuality is often associated with selfish tendencies. They’re more concerned about their internal time clock and sense of time, so they overlook the importance of respecting other people’s commitments and time.
They’re inherently selfish, even if they’re lateness isn’t rooted in malicious intentions. That’s why self-centered people almost always check their reflection, change a million times, and do more than necessary, even when they’re already running late, before leaving the house.
6. Run through their entire to-do list
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While many people often notice that their selfish and narcissistic peers seem to “get ahead” faster as a result of their charisma and self-assurance, a PNAS study wholly discredits that theory, suggesting that self-centered individuals often sabotage their own progress and connections, and do not have advantages at work.
People want to feel heard, and even if their first interaction with one of these individuals was defined by charisma and charm, it’s not long before they realize that their needs come last in the priority list of a selfish person’s life.
That’s part of the reason why a self-centered person will always run through their to-do list before leaving the house, even if they’re already running late or missing a commitment they made to someone else. Their needs come first, always.
7. Leave without saying ‘goodbye’
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A study from Nature Communications found that self-centered people tend to remain ignorant of their own behaviors — forgetting their acts of selfishness and following out-of-touch patterns that disregard the people around them. If they’re running late or spending too much time on their own struggles, chances are they’ll continue to follow patterns of selfishness, even around people in their inner circle.
That’s why they often leave without saying “goodbye” to the people in their homes. Even after conversations with their partners and loved ones about recognition and expressions of love, their needs and priorities always seem to come first. If it’s not convenient, it’s not for them.
8. Doomscroll on their phones
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Many people get caught up in a trap of doomscrolling and overusage of their cell phones for a variety of reasons. From seeking a distraction in the face of emotional turmoil to leveraging their phones as entertainment when they’re uncomfortable with boredom or alone time, there are a million reasons why someone may pick up their phone.
However, for many selfish people, it’s an avenue for comparison. Before they leave the house, they want to see what everyone else is doing, what they’re wearing, and what they’re saying — not just for knowledge, but so they can compare themselves.
It’s not uncommon, either, considering that social comparisons and constantly focusing on other people’s successes in life promote selfish behavior and attitudes, according to a study published in PNAS.
9. Forget things
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Lost in their own thoughts and immediate priorities, self-centered people almost always forget things before leaving the house. Whether it’s a gift for someone else, an important paper for work, or their keys, they’re always struggling with managing basic tasks alongside the constant chaos happening internally.
Of course, as a study from Brain Circulation agrees, emotional turmoil, mental health issues, and chronic stress can all negatively impact cognitive functions like memory. So, it’s not surprising that the deep-rooted insecurity and social comparison that fuels self-centered people affects these other subtle and subconscious parts of their lives.
10. Mentally ‘rank’ themselves socially
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If they’re going out with someone new, a self-centered person is always stalking them online before leaving the house. They’re changing their outfit or brainstorming a new personality — anything that allows them to climb the social ranks in an interaction or situation.
They mentally “rank” themselves before going anywhere, usually to ensure they’re not being outshone by a person they’ve never met or considered. They need to be the center of attention, all the time.
11. Take selfies and photos
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Getting ready or putting on the perfect outfit isn’t to ensure they fit the dress code, it’s to boost their own confidence and self-assurance. Of course, that’s usually the case for anyone, but for self-centered people, it’s a way to seek attention and validation from everyone around them — both in person and online.
That’s why self-centered people almost always take selfies and a million photos before leaving the house. They need to seek out validation for every small choice they make, even if it’s their outfit on social media.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
