11 Phrases People Who See Everything As A Competition Use On A Regular Basis
If you hear these phrases, you’re dealing with a hyper-competitive person.
nikkimeel / Shutterstock Hyper-competitive behavior has started to become a major problem in certain parts of society. As someone who grew up in a school system that encouraged it, I noticed certain catchphrases that tend to happen when you’re dealing with someone who’s all about competition.
These phrases are the ones that raise my alarm bells the most, because they generally tend to take things to a toxic level.
These are 11 phrases people who see everything as a competition use on a regular basis
1. ‘You can’t possibly be okay with being last on this, right?’
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Hyper-competitive people tend to be people who can’t fathom the idea of not winning. They see it as a mark of disgrace, a reason to save face at all costs. That’s never a good sign.
If they’re saying this, they will likely drag you into their toxic mindset and their even more toxic games.
2. ‘Oh, of course, you don’t get it’
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This is a phrase I’ve heard uttered to me by a girl in my high school who was totally traumatized into being hyper-competitive. She had just gotten an A- on a math test, and that was a loss in her eyes. I asked her why she was so upset, and that was her reply.
Hyper-competitive behavior is often a trauma response. And for people like me, being that competitive can be baffling. So, this ends up being something that gets said... for better or for worse.
3. ‘Second place! Absolutely not!’
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While I tried to start the list with some subtle things you might hear an overly competitive person say, this is still an internet list. And sometimes, those lists need to be obvious. If you see a person freak out because they got second place, chances are they are hyper-competitive.
To a person with a hyper-competitive streak, second place is just as good as last place. It’s even a meme on Buzzfeed for a reason.
4. ‘I’m not as thin/smart/successful/attractive as her…’
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Psychologists have long noted that competitive people tend to have that trait as a result of being compared to others by their parents. Unsurprisingly, that focus on competition tends to mean they learned to compare themselves to others 24/7.
If you notice someone constantly trying to compare themselves to someone, recognize that for what it likely is: trauma.
5. ‘I need this’
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Hyper-competitive people tend to be people who have extremely high standards as a result of having the importance of winning being drilled into them from a young age. We’ve all seen parents who can’t stand having a kid who isn’t considered to be top talent.
When it’s not a matter of a parent drumming it into them, psychologists note that it’s often a cry for help. That kind of desperation is a sign that they may be competitive as a way to try to earn love or attention.
6. ‘I’m not comfortable with losing/trying something new’
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At the end of the day, hyper-competitive behavior is a sign of anxiety paired with a side of perfectionism. If you notice that a certain person in question dodges any challenges that are out of their routine or out of their skill set, it could be a low-key symptom of hyper-competition.
They’re dodging the challenge because they genuinely can’t stand the idea of losing.
7. ‘How did you do on it?’
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Many people who are hyper-competitive can’t handle the idea of not knowing where they stand in an organization. So, if you’re working with them on the same task, you’ll start to notice them watching you like a hawk and comparing their work to yours.
This dynamic can turn workplaces toxic pretty quickly, which is why there are guides on dealing with hyper-competitiveness in the office.
8. ‘I never said that I’d help you out’
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When winning is everything, morals and ethics tend to go out the window. Hyper-competitive people who feel truly threatened will often do sketchy, underhanded things to make sure they end up on top.
It’s not unusual to see hyper-competition turn into a manipulative mess involving lies, cheating, twisting words, and pressuring you to give up your accomplishments to them.
9. ‘I would never allow my child to laze about like that’
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Unsurprisingly, hyper-competitive people tend to become hyper-competitive parents. They might end up becoming obsessed with the image of being the “perfect family” in some cases. In other cases, they may become full-blown “Tiger Parents” who use authoritarian parenting techniques to make their kids hyper-achieving robots.
This often makes the cycle continue, with their own kids becoming aggressively competitive and unable to relax on their own.
10. ‘If only I had done that, I would have been able to win’
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When caught in a perceived failure or loss, many hyper-competitive people start to beat themselves up. This can lead to a lot of self-berating, but more often than not, it makes them wonder what they could have done to change things.
If you hear a lot of “shoulda, woulda, coulda” after a team loss, you might be dealing with a high-strung, hyper-competitive person.
11. ‘People say I’m a bit toxic at times’
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Most people don’t realize how toxic hyper-competitive behavior can be until they’ve experienced life with a hyper-competitive person. It’s neither fun nor relaxing to deal with a person who makes every single thing into a competition.
Needless to say, they often struggle with long-term relationships.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
