11 Things People Do In Public That Reveal How Unhappy They Really Are
They're way often more obvious than people realize.
Dodokat | Shutterstock While sad people tend to have a noticeable change in mood and demeanor, people struggling with depression experience these shifts in a more dramatic way, which is where there are so many things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they really are. Even if other kinds of mental health struggles and life satisfaction issues are subtle, these public displays of sadness and conflict can be quite obvious if you're paying attention.
Similarly to how someone's social demeanor, habits, behaviors, and even body language tells people in public when they're happy and confident, when someone's incredibly unhappy or self-conscious, that also shows.
Here are 11 things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they really are
1. They avoid interactions with their phone
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The more screen time a person indulges on a daily basis, the less happy and healthy they are. So, it's not surprising that things like avoiding social interactions by going on their phones or curing boredom with doomscrolling are some of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they really are.
When someone is incapable of self-soothing their discomfort and anxiety without their phone or avoidant tendencies, they're setting themselves up for a lifetime of social isolation. Sometimes, getting out of your comfort zone, pushing the limits of social anxiety, and accepting challenges is the key to forming strong relationships, identity, and well-being — even if, in the moment, it feels antithetical.
2. They complain constantly
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When people constantly complain without taking action or changing anything, it's often a sign of how unhappy they really are. They'd prefer to seek instant comfort and gratification by complaining, even if it sets them up for long-term disconnection, lacking motivation, and struggle.
Of course, chronic complaining also rewires the brain for negativity, setting temporarily unhappy people up for an entire life of struggle, overcompensation, and isolation from others.
3. They get mad about small things
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Whether it's "overreacting" to a simple inconvenience or getting incredibly angry at someone for a simple mistake, disproportionate reactions and getting mad about small things are some of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they really are.
Like psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen explains, these reactions are rooted in mental health and trauma. When someone feels pressured to suppress emotions and avoid their discomfort, it finds a way to erupt eventually. Even if they're coping with their internal issues and struggles by avoiding them, it will be the wrong "time and place" when they finally demand to be acknowledged.
4. They're never excited
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Lacking excitement and enthusiasm for things they used to love is one of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they are. Especially when their indifference is a complete demeanor change in the face of things they used to love, their passivity can be a sign of depression or emotional turmoil.
These shifts don't just have to do with their old favorite hobbies and habits, it can also cause them to lack motivation, self-discipline, connection, belonging, meaning, and purpose in their lives, like a study from European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry argues.
5. They're attention-seeking
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A strong sign of internal discomfort, fear, and insecurity is attention-seeking behavior — whether it's overcompensating with humor and self-deprecating jokes, being loud and disruptive, or simply making themselves the center of attention in every social interaction.
It's also one of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy and uncomfortable in their skin they really are, because even if their attention-seeking goes to an extreme — with narcissistic and manipulative behaviors — it's always rooted in insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.
6. They over-apologize
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According to clinical social worker Shahar Lawrence, many people with low self-esteem, anxiety issues, or people-pleasing tendencies resort to over-apologizing to cope. Even when it's not necessary, they are constantly apologizing simply for being in someone else's presence or saying a certain phrase, burdening other people with the need to compensate.
Clinical psychologist Greg Chasson argues that the constant "sorry" not only negatively influences other people's social perception of you, it also encourages them to take on unnecessary emotional burdens — like comforting you in the face of an apology or correcting your claims.
7. They people-please for acceptance
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Many people-pleasers operate from a place of constant discomfort and chronic insecurity — struggling with fears of rejection and abandonment, anxiety, and internal emotional dysregulation, leading to their overly agreeable habits. They put their own needs to the side and compensate for these fears by being overly agreeable, affectionate, or social, even if it's at the expense of their own comfort and happiness.
These are some of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they really are — even if it's subtle, with a phrase like "I don't want to make anyone upset."
8. They're 'fake nice'
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According to a study from the Academy of Management, people who try to fake their emotions and wield a misguided happy demeanor end up more depressed and unhappy in the long run. That's why fake positivity and kindness is often misguided.
It not only encourages emotional suppression, it sabotages truly healthy relationships and crafts unrealistic beliefs, according to psychologist Mark Travers. Even if this positivity is more subtle than you realize, it's one of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they really are.
9. They overshare
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According to a study from Current Directions in Psychological Science, oversharing is a survival mechanism for many people who yearn to connect with people and to feel heard. The second they feel comfortable enough to share things with someone, they're trauma-dumping it all — even if it's not the right time, place, or person to be indulging.
For some, it may also be a sign of anxiety that's fueling their oversharing tendencies and general unhappiness. To cope with the discomfort of social interactions, they lean into oversharing to build a false sense of connection
10. They self-isolate in social situations
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When adults feel more depressed than normal, they're more likely to feel lonely, according to a 2022 study, not just on an emotional level — disconnected from connection and intentionality — but on a literal one.
They self-isolate to self-soothe in social interactions and avoid saying "yes" to events when struggling with fatigue — some of the most common things people may even do in public that reveal how unhappy they are.
So, social isolation and loneliness aren't just predictors of mental health concerns and unhappiness, they're also some of the outcomes and side effects, manifesting in a number of diverse ways depending on the person.
11. They post everything online
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If you notice that a friend you just met is posting about you like a best friend online or snapping pictures constantly in public, it could be a sign that they're more unhappy than you realize. Whether they're seeking validation online or trying to curate a hyper-specific narrative about who they are, it's one of the things people do in public that reveal how unhappy they are.
While both online and in-person offer their own unique social benefits, even to unhappy people, living completely online without intentionality or mindfulness in the present moment with others can sabotage those connections in reality. Not only are they missing out on the in-person community and connection of these social networks, they're self-isolating themselves into social media — a place that generally sparks more harm than good for individuals.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
