11 Things Kids Raised By Gentle Parents Do That Baby Boomers Find Disrespectful
Baby boomers aren't afraid to tell the younger generations what they find disrespectful about their children.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock It’s no surprise that baby boomers and millennials have different parenting styles. When boomers were raising their kids, authoritarian styles were most prominent. This puts pressure on children to behave a certain way, usually tied to respecting elders, staying quiet, and minding their own business.
Many of those who were raised under this style of parenting are now parents themselves, and they are looking to create a better environment for their own children. But while millennial parents are fond of gentle parenting, or the idea that children should be raised in a nurturing, parent-secure household, and 73% believe they are better at raising children than their parents were, there are many things kids raised by gentle parents do that baby boomers find completely disrespectful.
Here are 11 things kids raised by gentle parents do that baby boomers find disrespectful
1. They question authority
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Baby boomers preferred authoritative parenting, which emphasized discipline to control a child’s behavior. Kids who are raised by gentle parents find that they can communicate more freely with their caregivers and, therefore, may not respect authority the way boomers feel they should.
The older generation preferred their children never question rules that were in place and instead, follow them to the letter. Gentle-parented children are not afraid to question rules and authority, and baby boomers find this behavior disrespectful.
2. They don't respect their elders
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Like following rules, baby boomers put great emphasis on their children respecting their elders. They expected them to say yes or no, ma’am, never question the rules they put in place, and always listen to the directions they gave.
Gentle parents typically do not place a higher standard on how to treat elders than on how to treat any other generation. They teach overall respect, and that may not always equate to bowing down to the older generation.
3. They're too independent
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Gentle parenting encourages children to be more self-aware and fosters powerful social skills. Those brought up under this parenting style have found more independence and confidence, which boomers may find disrespectful.
Boomer parents emphasized their own independence, but didn't necessarily foster that same priority for their children. Due to increased parental anxiety, these caretakers struggled to allow their children independence and focused on micromanaging their daily lives. Boomers may believe gentle-parented children should rely more on guidance from others than on their own autonomy.
4. They put their own feelings first
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If there is one thing gentle parents prioritize most, it’s allowing their children to feel their emotions and work through them. This can come across as disrespectful to boomers when the child puts their own feelings above everything else.
Gentle parents look to solve behavior issues by having their children talk through how they feel. As a result, boomers have found that children use their own emotions as an excuse for their actions, and the lack of punishment allows them to continue this cycle. To them, this is disrespectful.
5. They say no too easily
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Those raised by boomers were not allowed to say no. When someone, especially an older family member or authority figure, asked them to do something, they were told to always say yes. Whether that was giving a hug they may not have wanted to give or agreeing to do an activity they weren’t fond of, saying no wasn’t an option.
After being raised with these rules, the younger generation has prioritized giving their children the option to say no to something they don’t want to do. Boomers expect children to follow whatever they say, and find their comfort with saying no to be disrespectful.
6. They prioritize their own needs
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Boomer parents ensured their children followed their rules and what they wanted from them over their own individuality. They believed this helped mold successful children, but gentle parents disagree.
Children raised in softer parenting households are allowed more space to be autonomous. They will put their own needs first, and boomers find that to be disrespectful.
7. They talk back
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Allowing their children to have individuality is not something boomer parents agree with. Having the ability to voice their needs often, boomers have found that gentle-parented children are more likely to talk back, which they find to be very disrespectful.
Boomers feel that this generation of children is constantly seeking self-power, and as a result, they are quick to put their foot down. The older generation believes that these actions are impolite.
8. They lack manners
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The words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ were highly valued by boomer parents. They encouraged their children to stand up straight, be respectful at the dinner table, and respond respectfully to elders.
Boomers feel that gentle parents do not adequately emphasize the importance of having good manners. Since these children feel so independent and empowered by their own feelings, they may not have the best manners.
9. They are too ‘soft’
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Boomers are infamous for being the ‘pick yourself up by the bootstraps’ generation, and they raised their children to have the same mindset. Given the change in economic and social issues, younger parents look to provide a more gentle approach to life for their children.
This has led boomers to perceive the latest generation of children as ‘too soft.’ They feel they are more emotional, less stoic, and quicker to break down when things don’t go their way. We’ve all heard boomers talk about the ‘participation trophy’ issue, and they believe there should be firm winners and losers, and not everyone should be given a prize.
This sentiment is not new. This has been seen throughout history. For nearly 100 years, older generations have always found the children born after their own are ‘too soft’ for their own good.
10. They throw tantrums in public
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Since gentle-parented children are more likely to be in touch with their emotions, those feelings can become overwhelming. As a result, they may be more prone to throwing tantrums, especially in public, when things don’t go their way.
When a child is screaming and throwing a fit in a store because they can’t get what they want, boomers find this extremely disrespectful. They believe that children should always mind their manners and follow the rules their parents have put in place, rather than acting out when they cannot get what they want.
11. They rely too much on technology
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It’s no surprise that boomers find technology to be an issue with the younger generations. They can struggle to use it themselves and feel that children are far too dependent on screen time than they should be.
The phenomenon of iPad babies deeply bothers boomers. They do not believe that children should sit at a table with family in a restaurant and watch something on their devices. Boomers value quality family time, and when children are distracted by technology, they are unable to give them that. They want children to be outside playing like their own kids did, not glued to their screens.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
