The Way A Person Reacts To These 13 Phrases Tells You Everything You Need To Know About Their True Character
If they get mad when you express your feelings, they're not good for you.
Danila Perevoshchikov | Shutterstock Ya know that getting to know you phase in dating? The reason for all those questions isn't simply to pass the time on dates. It's all about learning who that person is and getting a glimpse of their true character. You can't learn who someone truly is in their soul unless you listen and observe how they feel, think, act, and react in a variety of circumstances.
According to the Instagram account @thealphawomenclub, if you're looking to learn who a person truly is, there are 13 phrases you can say to them, and how they react will give you all the info you need.
The way a person responds to these 13 sentences reveals their true character:
1. 'I'm not available tonight.'
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If someone gets upset because you're busy, it may be a sign of entitlement. These individuals believe they own your time and that you should prioritize them.
Arlin Cuncic, a psychologist writing for VerywellMind.com, explained that entitled people tend to be melodramatic, and that "when someone doesn't give in to their demands, they will cause a big scene." Don't confuse them being bummed out that they will miss out on your company with disrespect of your time, however, because the two are very different.
2. 'That joke wasn't funny to me.'
There are people who believe comedy has no limits, even if it comes at the expense of humiliating others. If a joke hurts you and, when you express it, you’re shamed or ignored, it may be time to think twice about that relationship. Good partners or friends will respect your feelings and apologize.
3. 'That made me uncomfortable.'
A manipulator will play the victim in this situation and try to make it seem like you’re wrong for feeling uncomfortable. They might say, "You’re too soft," or, "That’s not what I meant, get over yourself." A mature person, on the other hand, will take responsibility and adjust their behavior so you don’t feel that way again.
4. 'I'd rather not talk about that.'
Those who don’t respect your limits won’t respect you at all. If you want to stay silent about a topic, a good person will understand.
Stanford University noted that boundaries help us build trust, safety, and respect in relationships. Without boundaries, relationships cannot flourish, whether it's a friendship, a family member, or a first date.
5. 'That's not something I tolerate.'
If you don’t allow something, there should be no need to convince others. They should understand it right away. For instance, if you don’t tolerate friends crossing the line and flirting with you, they should respect that immediately without asking you to justify your reasons.
6. 'I don't agree with you.'
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Is it really news that manipulators hate being disagreed with? The moment you point out they’re wrong about something, or simply share a different perspective, they become furious. Watch out for their response to this.
You should never feel unsafe to express a differing opinion. If a person cares about you in a healthy way and respects who you are, they will understand your perspective, and you can disagree without damaging the relationship.
7. 'I need some space to think.'
If they love you, they will give you space. Grace Dowd, a psychotherapist, wrote that "personal space is an essential component of any healthy relationship. It allows individuals to maintain their independence, nurture their individuality, and develop a sense of self-worth."
8. 'That's not my responsibility.'
People who are using you emotionally will get upset over this one. For instance, a partner might claim their day was ruined because you didn’t answer a text quickly enough. But is that really on you? It’s important to notice these signs and reflect on whether the relationship is truly good for you.
9. 'I'm not okay with how that played out.'
Are they actually listening to your opinion, or just ignoring it? Even worse, do they start defending themselves before you’ve even finished speaking? Some people simply don’t care about your feelings, and that’s a clear no-go.
10. 'This is what I need moving forward.'
When you open up about your plans or expectations for the future of the relationship, their true character will show. And if they weren’t expecting the request, it will reveal even more.
11. 'No, I won't be doing that.'
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If someone can’t understand and accept your denial, they’re most likely not good for you. The Psychology and Wellness Center explains that manipulators "make us do things that we would probably not have done of our own free will."
12. 'I'm not looking to fix this dynamic anymore.'
Some people only love you when you’re easy to convince. If they keep making mistakes and you allow them to try over and over again to fix the same dynamic, they get comfortable. But the moment you say you’re not up for it anymore, their true character will show.
13. 'This version of me no longer fits with this version of us.'
It’s essential for personalities to grow within a relationship. When someone gets upset because you don’t like how the relationship is evolving or challenging your character, you’re really seeing their true self.
The takeaway is this: If someone in your life has given you bad responses to these kinds of statements, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship with them. They should respect your feelings and give you the answer you deserve.
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
