11 Phrases Brilliant People Say When They're Surrounded By Idiots
Rather than give into frustration, they know how to navigate uncomfortable conversations and interactions.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Brilliance can be characterized in a number of ways, from fluid intelligence, to emotional self-awareness, and even social skills, but the same can be said for the somewhat crude term "idiots." They're hardly characterized by intelligence, but rather by their own ego, selfishness, ignorance, or cruel nature. They may rely on emotional manipulation to get what they want, overlook empathy for the sake of superiority, or even grasp at societal norms to justify their rudeness.
However, there are certain phrases brilliant people say when they're surrounded by idiots that not only shine a light on their toxicity, but serve as a means of protection and empowerment against their behaviors. So, while these phrases might seem rude or even targeted, they're intended to be a means of self-respect and collaboration, rather than looming resentment or irritability.
Here are 11 phrases brilliant people say when they're surrounded by idiots
1. 'Help me understand how you got there'
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When taking the empathetic route, a phrase like "help me understand how you got there" can help to bridge the gap between a brilliant person and someone they're struggling to communicate with. Whether it's an argument in the workplace or a misunderstanding in a personal relationship, finding a space where common ground helps everyone to feel heard is key.
Like a Heliyon study suggests, compromise is a "give and take" in conversations, where both parties have a chance to level the playing field, express themselves, and find a common ground that works for the both of them.
A phrase like this supports compromise, helping a brilliant person to understand another's train of thought and the things that they value in an interaction, even if they don't have the tools to verbalize those things themselves.
2. 'Let's take some space to think about this'
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In stressful, chaotic, or emotional situations, it's easy to escalate arguments that don't need to be, whether it's in the workplace or at home. If someone doesn't have the emotional regulation skills or self-awareness to take a step back and return to the conversation in a thoughtful way, it's easy for everyone to suffer.
According to behavior analyst Maria Ferlick, speaking loudly or making demands does the opposite of de-escalation, urging people to resort to defensiveness or anxiety when they're in these conversations.
That's exactly why this is one of the phrases brilliant people say when they're surrounded by idiots — it not only gives them a chance to reflect and recharge, but their counterparts the chance to regulate their emotions and come back to a more productive interaction.
3. 'Let's not make assumptions'
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According to a 1999 study, people who are overconfident in their skills and abilities tend to have a lower rate of accuracy than their humble counterparts. Whether it's making assumptions in a conversation or dismissing another person's concerns, it's these kinds of people that tend to fall short on the expectations they set for themselves.
That's exactly why a phrase like "let's not make assumptions" can be productive in conflict-resolution and problem-solving scenarios, as it encourages everyone to focus on facts, common ground, and, most importantly, active listening.
4. 'Let's focus on what we can control'
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When conversations lean overly emotional and stray away from the issue at hand, especially in the workplace, it can encourage people to overlook the fundamentals of healthy conversation — from active listening, to offering empathy, and even supporting other people's space in a conversation.
Many of the phrases brilliant people say when they're surrounded by idiots, who overlook others and hyper-focus on their own superiority, are rooted in regulation. A phrase like "let's focus on what we can control" reframes a conversation as a collaborative environment, where you're working together to fix a shared issue or problem, not against each other in a competitive way.
5. 'I'm not the right person for this conversation'
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Especially in the workplace, setting boundaries in conversations and interactions can look as simple as a phrase like this. Whether it's advocating for your own well-being, shielding yourself from disrespect, or simply finding someone else who's a better fit for the job, the phrases brilliant people say when they're surrounded by idiots are a form of self-respect.
Like experts from Vanderbilt University suggest, setting boundaries at work is the key to protecting your well-being, especially around co-workers or in a work culture that's already not helpful for your mental and physical health.
So, when they're surrounded by co-workers or peers who don't care about their well-being, it can be draining, but these kinds of phrases and boundaries serve as a buffer to protect them from feeling taxed emotionally.
6. 'What do you mean by that?'
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Oftentimes, misunderstandings can encourage people to feel unvalued and unheard in their relationships and social interactions. Not only do these negative feelings tend to escalate conflicts and spark resentment, they can quickly make an important conversation unproductive. A study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships even suggests that a regular feeling of being misunderstood can have more severe consequences on personal health and relationships.
That's exactly why simple phrases like "tell me more about that" or "What do you mean by that?" can be incredibly powerful, especially for brilliant people trying to navigate conversations with people less emotionally regulated or present than them.
They not only help to clarify the center of a conversation, they can encourage a safer space for empathetic conversation where everyone feels heard and valued, even when expressing opinions that don't align with the group.
7. 'We don't agree, but that's okay'
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Especially in today's culture, fueled by competition and individualism, it's not uncommon for people to live and die behind their opinions — afraid to change their mind or even have conversations with people who don't agree with them. But it's possible to disagree and still have a healthy conversation and relationship, depending on the topic.
A phrase like "let's agree to disagree" is productive in many cases, like in the workplace, because it gives each person space to feel heard and understood, without needing to "prove" themselves as right or wrong.
8. 'I'm here to understand, not to win'
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A phrase like "I'm here to understand, not to win" can help to settle a tense room and help people feel heard, which is why it's one of the phrases brilliant people say when they're surrounded by idiots.
Truly brilliant people always take opportunities to learn something new or hear out a new perspective from someone they don't know. They're not afraid to take accountability or own up to their mistakes, so they're much more open to conversations with people who have differing opinions or backgrounds.
Even if they're surrounded by people who don't have that same drive or initiative to get out of their comfort zone, they're willing to do it for themselves — listening to their opinions, navigating hard conversations, and even prompting them into healthier communication habits.
9. 'I expect people to treat me with respect'
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According to experts from the University of Minnesota, it's not typically easy to be an advocate for yourself, especially when it means having hard conversations, holding people accountable, and setting boundaries in environments that celebrate agreeableness.
A truly brilliant person who doesn't tolerate disrespect uses phrases like "I don't allow people to speak to me that way" or "I expect you to treat me with respect," even if they're having a conversation in the workplace, to protect their mental health and well-being.
Even when they're surrounded by people who'd never do the same to protect themselves or turn defensive in the face of their own unfavorable behaviors, they're willing to get out of their comfort zone and be a self-advocate.
10. 'I hear you, but let's be respectful'
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When a conversation gets heated or the topic changes to something more personal, it's not uncommon for people to resort to defensive tones and charged language. However, a truly brilliant person is careful to set boundaries in these conversations quickly, reminding everyone to be conscious of their respect for each other.
Of course, it's also possible to take space or walk away from an unproductive conversation, but in places like the workplace or in a conflict with a partner, sometimes it's easier for brilliant people to simply express their expectations and move on.
11. 'I'm choosing to stay quiet on this one'
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Sometimes, the most productive way to protect your sanity, respect, and well-being in a conversation is to stay silent. If you can't walk away and you know you're not going to be heard by the group, staying silent and simply observing the conversation can be more beneficial than people give it credit for.
From listening to a partner vent about their concerns to navigating conflict with a co-worker that's struggling to regulate their emotions, brilliant people know when to stay silent.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
