People Who Are Avoiding You Almost Always Say These 11 Phrases When You Call Them Out
TetianaKtv / Shutterstock Let's face it, being the odd one out is never a good feeling. Whether it's at a work event or in a friend group, being tossed to the side is something we've all experienced. While it may be common, there's no denying that people who are avoiding you almost always say these phrases when you call them out.
Is it fun to be avoided by someone? No. Do they care? Probably not. It's hurtful, but many people who resort to these immature tactics don't care about what the right thing is. Fueled with embarrassment and anger, they silently get their revenge. So, if someone has plans to pull away from you, they'll instantly reveal themselves with these phrases.
People who are avoiding you almost always say these 11 phrases when you call them out
1. 'You're overthinking it'
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People who avoid you almost always say, "You're overthinking it." It isn't a good feeling to have one's feelings pushed aside. Regardless of their intent, feeling insignificant, gaslighted, or unimportant is bound to leave some lasting scars.
For instance, according to the American Psychological Association, "Social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and sadness. It reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks, and can also contribute to aggression and poor impulse control." That being said, people who avoid you don't truly care. Sure, they know their immature ways are hurtful, but their ego won't let them admit they're wrong. This is why they avoid you and use flimsy excuses instead.
2. 'I've just been really busy lately'
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To be fair, everyone gets busy from time to time. Whether it's school or family matters, getting caught up in life is nothing new. That being said, people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "I've just been really busy lately," when you call them out. Consequently, their schedule gets packed as soon as an argument ensues. Like clockwork, they stop answering phone calls or go ghost mode completely.
And if you try to contact them? Be prepared to face a ton of excuses. As much as it's hurtful, these individuals don't know how to be straight up, so they avoid conflict instead.
3. 'I didn't think it was that serious'
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In life, there will always be someone who lacks empathy. It doesn't matter how obvious it might seem to others. If it doesn't directly impact them, don't expect this individual to truly ever care. Filled with selfishness, these people don't know how to look outside themselves. This is why people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "I didn't think it was that serious," when you call them out.
They might not see it as serious, but being ghosted is hurtful in ways that are hard to explain. As psychologist Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D., said, "Regardless of the ghoster's intent, ghosting is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars." This is why people must own up to their mistakes and be sincere; otherwise, their casual disregard might just leave those around them feeling hurt.
4. 'You're taking this the wrong way'
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The average person will always do their best to understand one another. Even if it isn't always easy, learning how to talk to people is a social necessity. That said, people who avoid you almost always say, "You're taking this the wrong way," when you call them out.
Whether they meant to or not, someone said something or did something that was beyond hurtful. From their tone of voice or careless words, their lack of consideration caused damage. While it might've been taken the wrong way, a decent person who can face the consequences of their actions would simply apologize. However, if they're avoiding you, expect them to utter this phrase one too many times.
5. 'I didn't mean it like that'
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Everyone's said something that came out the wrong way at some point in their lives. Whether it was to a coworker or to a friend, many will look back on that moment, silently wincing on the inside. However, people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "I didn't mean it like that," when you call them out. When someone is in defensive mode, they'll do everything in their power to deflect.
It sucks, but it's human behavior to get defensive when being called out. As therapist John Kim, LMFT, said, "Defensiveness is often a natural reaction to factors such as fear, ego, or a desire to prove ourselves right." Even so, defensiveness can push people away and create more friction than it's worth. So, while someone might not mean it like that, it's crucial to push back that discomfort and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it impacted you in this way."
6. 'I was planning on reaching out soon'
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It's normal for people to get busy. Despite how annoying it may be to be slightly ghosted, when responsibilities are piling up, you can't always expect someone to be readily on the phone. Even so, there's a difference between a few weeks of business versus months. While weeks of a busy schedule can cause someone to slightly pull away, it's rare to see someone busy for a few months without giving a warning.
And while you may call them out for it, people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "I was planning on reaching out soon," when you call them out. Were they actually going to reach out? The world may never know. However, when faced with confrontation, those who are guilty tend to be more defensive than those whose intentions were pure.
7. 'Can we talk about this another time'
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Nobody likes confrontation. It doesn't matter who someone is in a dilemma with. To sit there in discomfort and listen to the ramblings of another person's grievances isn't the best way to pass the day. This is why people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "Can we talk about this another time," when you call them out. Will they actually talk about it on a later date? Probably not.
Typically used as a stall tactic, people with no intention of following through with their promises give you words or reassurance to put your mind at ease. With a straight face, they'll tell you that you guys will eventually get to this at a later date, only to ghost you the next second. While they think this is a win, people who engage in avoidance should be careful. According to Jonice Webb, Ph.D., "Avoidance is a lonely endeavor. It tends to take you further away from others and your true self."
8. 'Let's not make this a big deal'
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Sorry, but when someone has already had it up to here with a person's behavior, the last thing that person should do is be careless with their words. Unfortunately, these individuals don't think that far ahead, which is why people who avoid you almost always say, "Let's not make this a big deal," when you call them out. While nobody likes the drama, considering another person's feelings isn't dramatic at all.
If someone truly cares about a person, it's basic human decency to listen to what they have to say. Yet if someone knows they're in the wrong and doesn't want to admit it, understand that nothing you say will change their mind.
9. 'I thought you needed space'
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Everyone needs a little space after an argument. As much as they may claim to be just fine, difficult emotions are always going to be hard to process. This is why giving one another twenty minutes to simply cool off isn't out of the ordinary. However, if a few days pass without communication, people shouldn't be surprised if they're called out. Whether they admit it or not, people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "I thought you needed space," when you call them out.
Space is always a good thing. As psychotherapist Ben Endres, Ph.D., said, "A time-out isn't the end of the conversation, but a discrete, time-limited break that allows the conversation to continue more productively." Still, there's a huge difference between a break and avoidance. Without clear time limits and communication, it's all too easy for miscommunication to cause hurt and misunderstandings. So, if someone intends to simply give the other person space, be specific.
10. 'I've been trying to protect my peace'
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Nobody wants to be under too much pressure. In a world that's already becoming chaotic enough, the last thing someone should want is to feel as if their peace is being disturbed. That being said, there is bound to be a time in life when peace is hard to come by. Especially during difficult conversations or sudden transitions, it's unsurprising that people who typically protect their peace may feel overwhelmed.
Not used to the unbearable pressure of it all, people who are avoiding you almost always say the phrase, "I've been trying to protect my peace," when you call them out. While they might think they're in the right, protecting one's peace is only used for toxic individuals or environments. This means simple arguments or disagreements shouldn't be used as an excuse to ghost someone.
11. 'I was waiting for the right time'
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Finally, people who avoid you almost always say, "I was waiting for the right time," when you call them out. Sorry to say it, but there's never going to be the right time to address conflict. Whether it's in a day or a month, the results will pretty much remain the same. In fact, waiting too long to address these crucial issues might leave you worse for wear.
As relationship coach Kara Shade, Ph.D., CFLE, said, "For these couples, stuffing emotions and piling up unmet needs and frustrations sets them up to harbor resentment and hostility toward their partners." This is why it's crucial to take a slight break and then put everything on the table. Not only is it healing for the other person, but it can also be healing for you.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
