People Who Still Want To Be Invited To Things Even Though They Don't Really Want To Go Usually Have These 10 Personality Traits
nikkimeel | Shutterstock While introverts tend to enjoy their alone time and solitude, and actively seek it out compared to their extroverted counterparts, that doesn’t mean they don’t still want to be invited to things. They want to feel appreciated, thought of by their loved ones, and valued, even if they know they’re not going to actually go to the event. Some people justify their lack of invite with the “you never come anyway,” but is an extra invitation or text too much effort to make someone feel seen?
People who still want to be invited to things even though they don’t really want to go usually have certain personality traits that make them homebodies. It’s nothing personal and, of course, they’re going to show up for the things that really matter. But on a passing day, their alone time and reflection are more important.
People who still want to be invited to things even though they don’t really want to go usually have these 10 personality traits
1. They seek belonging
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Wanting to feel a sense of belonging and community with others is a natural human instinct. We want to feel like a part of something bigger than ourselves, even if it’s just an invite list to an exclusive party or a group chat with our closest friends.
Of course, people who still want to be invited to things even though they don’t really want to go also have this yearning. When people don’t have this attachment to others and a sense of togetherness, it can negatively impact their health and well-being — sometimes, in the form of loneliness.
2. They’re selective with their energy
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Many people who want to be included in things but prefer their alone time are selective about the people they let in. Introverted people have the emotional intelligence to appreciate spending time in their own company, so when they care about making space for others, it’s for a good reason.
While they tend to have fewer friends over the course of their lives, they often form relationships with greater depth and meaning. They want to be invited to things when these people are around, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to have a full social calendar, rid of restful alone time.
3. They like consistency
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People who want invitations to social gatherings and parties, even if they’re not going to go, appreciate the consistency of always being included. They don’t have to fret about the state of their relationships or worry about being left out when they’re really looking forward to social interactions, because they’re consistently included.
Of course, for the most part, introverted people may not say “yes” to social plans, but feeling “thought of” and appreciated with an invite can help to curb feelings of isolation that may otherwise rise to the surface if they’re left out. That’s why they appreciate consistency — they get a boost of belonging from an invite, but still have the freedom to make a decision based on how they’re feeling in the moment.
4. They’re sensitive to group energy
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People who are overly sensitive to group energy and social shifts may find themselves more upset by being left out of an invitation. Whether it’s overthinking or noticing small changes in their relationships, even if they don’t have the energy to go to a social event, not being invited at all can feel like a personal attack.
Sensitive people feel things on a deeper level, so it’s not surprising that these complicated emotions internalize into something much bigger and more harmful.
5. They’re socially burnt out
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If someone’s burnt out socially and emotionally, chances are they don’t have the capacity to entertain social situations, small talk, and a ton of surface-level interactions. They’re already caught up in their own sense of internal exhaustion that they don’t need the added drain and strain of these events, especially if they’re an introvert.
Considering our communities, friends, and peers are often the best kind of relief for burnout through support, if we’re not being reached out to by them or included through invitations, we may feel even more alone than the inner strain is prompting.
6. They recharge best when they’re alone
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Compared to extroverted people, who can energize themselves and recharge their social batteries around other people, introverts tend to be quickly drained by social interactions and conversations. When they need to recharge, they have to spend time alone to reflect and regulate their emotions.
However, these people still want to be invited to things even though they can’t always go. They need alone time to rest, and often can’t predict whether or not they’ll need that space on the night of their gathering.
But, at least, if they get an invite, they can tweak their schedule and make compromises to ensure they’re energized for the event.
7. They’re sensitive about being left out
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According to a study from the European Journal of Ageing, even older adults know when they’ve been left out or excluded, whether it’s from professional settings or personal ones. Even if they tend to respond rationally to these exclusions, it feeds into the loneliness many experience later in their lives.
If someone’s sensitive about being left out, but still struggling to get out of the house or feel energized enough to make connections, they may want to be invited, even if they’re not going to go. The feeling of belonging and like they’ve been thought of in a different room is powerful — hence, people’s reliance on social media and their phones.
8. They like to have options
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If someone needs a carefully curated vibe to appreciate leaving their house and being motivated to go out, chances are they’re going to want to have options when they make the decision to do so. They don’t want to end up at a party or social event that quickly drains their energy, when there’s a social plan more suited to their needs and energy levels.
People who still want to be invited even though they don’t really want to go usually have these personality traits — they want to have control of choice.
9. They fear missing out
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Even if it seems obvious and simple, the fear of missing out is more nuanced than it seems for people who want to get invited to things for a sense of belonging. It revolves around social exclusion, according to a study from the World Journal of Clinical Cases, which can have huge implications for a person’s self-worth and well-being.
So, if someone wants an invitation to feel valued and seen by the people they care about, it’s not just about options and connection, but a deep sense of belonging and a need to feel included.
10. They appreciate reassurance from others
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If someone is struggling with feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, getting an invitation from someone, even to an event they won’t attend, can feel reassuring. They’re included, people like them, and they’re validated in who they are.
But when they don’t get an invitation, it may reaffirm all the negative self-talk they feel inside, sparking much more harmful feelings of isolation and loneliness.
As the number of people struggling with insecurities continues to grow, so too do these behaviors and tendencies that seek external validation and reassurance.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
