People With Serious Entitlement Issues Say These 11 Phrases On An Almost Daily Basis
PH888 | Shutterstock Meeting someone with serious entitlement issues can be confusing at first. You're not sure if they're super confident, or extremely selfish. Sometimes difference is clear, other times you may be left wondering what just happened. Being entitled makes people think they deserve preferential treatment and access to special resources. Entitlement is sometimes confused with having high self-confidence or being extremely charming, yet the phrases entitled people use often reveal their underlying selfish motives.
By definition, entitled people believe they’re better than everyone else. Entitled people expect others to bend over backwards to meet their needs. They’re often demanding of people’s time and energy, yet they’re unwilling to extend themselves to meet anyone’s needs but their own. People with a strong sense of entitlement treat others with disrespect while demanding that they go above and beyond to please them.
People with serious entitlement issues say these 11 phrases on an almost daily basis
1. ‘That’s not my problem’
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People with serious entitlement issues are known for saying “that’s not my problem” even when it is very much their problem. Often, entitled people say this in response to someone expressing a need or asking the entitled person to take accountability for doing something poorly or for hurting someone else.
Emily Zitek, a professor at Cornell University, explains that entitlement is “a personality characteristic in which someone has a pervasive sense of deservingness.” That deservingness can be miserable to be around, and it can even affect your well-being.
Zitek shares that being around entitled people can lower other people’s sense of well-being, as entitled people are more likely to create conflict and behave in selfish and dishonest ways. That's why you'll often hear "that's not my problem" when you ask an entitled person to step up.
Of course, there are times when saying "that's not my problem" is helpful. For example, someone who is entitled to your time and energy may want you to solve their problems, even if you had nothing to do with their cause. In that case, telling them it's not your problem can be very helpful.
2. ‘I shouldn’t have to ask’
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Another phrase used by people with serious entitlement issues is, “I shouldn’t have to ask.” They believe that other people exist solely to serve them and meet their needs. Being entitled means they have big egos and an overdeveloped sense of self-importance, so they think everyone else should cater to them, without directly expressing their own needs.
The American Psychological Association explains that when an entitled person’s needs aren’t met, they lean on “a sense of perceived injustice” which serves to “bolster their entitled self-concept, leading to a reinforcement of entitled beliefs, thereby initiating the cycle again.”
Entitled people live in a bubble, made iron-clad by their own self-centered beliefs. They have very little perspective or regard for other people, so they cannot imagine how anyone isn't focused on meeting their entitled needs.
3. ‘You owe me’
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People with serious entitlement issues are known to say "you owe me" any chance they get. The phrase signals a deeply-ingrained self-centeredness, along with the belief that someone should get everything they want just because they want it.
As the Berkeley Well-Being Institute notes, entitled people don’t acknowledge or express gratitude for anyone but themselves. This isn't just damaging to their relationship with themselves, it's also incredibly self-limiting.
After all, as therapist and relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch reveals, gratitude brings unparalleled benefits to every type of relationship: gratitude.
“Practicing gratitude and showing it to your partner will help you fulfill your partner's first two needs: the need for reassurance and the need for intimacy,” Dr. Orbuch explains.
Saying "you owe me" and keeping score of who does what in any friendship or relationship is essentially the opposite of showing gratitude, and has opposite effects. It destabilizes and blocks connection.
4. ‘How could you do this to me?’
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There will be times in life when someone does you wrong. In those cases, it will be totally justified to ask how they could have made the choice to do harm to you.
But people with serious entitlement issues say things like, “How could you do this to me?” whenever they feel wronged or like they’ve been treated unfairly. This can happen a lot, and not because anyone actually did them any harm, but simply because they didn't treat the entitled person like the prince or princess they think they are.
Therapist Nancy Carbone shares that having a victim mentality means that “You are never at fault.” Because entitled people see imperfections in everyone but themselves, they’re quick to cast blame on others. They don’t hold themselves accountable for making mistakes.
As Carbone notes, “If you get caught up in trying to make them feel better, you, too, can get caught in their tumultuous chaos and go down with them... [and] it’s not your job to rescue negative people who do not want to save themselves."
5. ‘This is beneath me’
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Entitled people hold themselves above others, which means they often have superiority complexes. Their belief that they’re better than everyone else means they wouldn’t dare lower themselves to do something for others, unless it benefits them in some way. This is why they often say things like "this is beneath me."
Entitled people are especially difficult to collaborate with. They don’t do things for the greater good, yet they want to take all the credit for other people’s hard work. They might think that pitching in equally on a team project is beneath them, since they’re deserving of special treatment.
6. ‘I always get what I want’
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People with serious entitlement issues often say “I always get what I want" without realizing how strange it sounds to others. This phrase captures a self-centered mindset, in which someone is willing to put others out just to get what they think they deserve.
Whether it’s a reservation at a fancy restaurant that’s been booked for months or a first-class seat on a full airplane, entitled people will declare, “I always get what I want” to try and make others bend to their will.
They’re not gracious losers, either, which means if they don’t get exactly what they want, they’ll act out and cause a scene, as though throwing a grown-up tantrum will get people to give them what they’re asking for.
If you're considering dating someone who says something like this, follow Dr. Maya Angelou's advice and believe them when they show you who they are. They are telling you that they will do anything and everything to make things go their way and this is not a charming or romantic quality, no matter how heavily they pursue you in the beginning. d
7. ‘I won’t take no for an answer’
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“I won’t take no for an answer” is another phrase to watch out for with people who have serious entitlement issues. It goes hand in hand with their belief that they should always get what they want, no matter what and should be seen as a warning.
People who say the phrase “I don’t take no for an answer” are accustomed to people giving into their whims. They often hold positions of power, like your overly-demanding boss with delusional beliefs about himself and his employees. Entitled people use this phrase because they think it makes them sound powerful and commanding, when in reality, it makes them sound egotistical and inflexible.
As Aisha Sajid, a creative strategist and CMO, writes, "Working in an environment with egoistic bosses who prioritize their own opinions over the right course of action can be detrimental." Sajid lists stifled innovation, poor decision-making and a toxic work environment as just a few of the reasons why bosses with serious entitlement issues actually do harm to their team's progress rather than helping.
8. ‘I didn’t come here to be treated like this’
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Once again, there will be times in your life when you need to say, “I didn’t come here to be treated like this.” Sometimes you will need to hold your boundaries and demand better treatment from people who think they can walk all over you.
But people with serious entitlement issues say this when they're being treated the same as everyone else. Maybe that means waiting in line, being told their favorite item isn't available, or when someone else says "no" in a perfectly respectable way; basically any time they’re faced with a slight inconvenience. Saying, "I didn't come here to be treated like this" in these situations isn't setting healthy boundaries, it's showing how little respect someone has for others.
Saying the phrase, “I didn’t come here to be treated like this” reinforces the idea that entitled people have about themselves, which is that they’re too special to be held to normal standards. It is the opposite of being graceful or generous, which is why you need to watch out for people who use this phrase.
9. ‘The rules don’t apply to me’
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“The rules don’t apply to me” is a phrase some people with entitlement issues may say out loud when they think they won't be judged for it. They believe their innate specialness means they don’t have to act in keeping with social norms. They think they’re too important to follow the same rules as everyone else, and they won’t hesitate to let other people know.
In a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers posited that psychological entitlement is a central motivator of status-seeking behavior.
They defined psychological entitlement as “an inflated and pervasive sense of deservingness, self-importance, and exaggerated expectations to receive special goods and treatment without reciprocating.”
According to their findings, status-seekers “promote their own advancement at others’ expense, seek to dominate others via aggressive tactics and organize their lives around gaining power and socially valued achievement.”
Status-seeking individuals are fueled by their sense of entitlement. They don’t believe that they need to hold themselves to the same limits as others, and they don’t hesitate to declare the rules don’t apply to them.
10. ‘This is unacceptable’
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Another phrase commonly used by people with serious entitlement issues is “This is unacceptable.” Again, this is a phrase that can be healthy when used to set boundaries with people who may want to exploit your kindness.
The Berkeley Well-Being Institute notes that having an entitled personality is related to other traits, like being impatient and being resistant to accepting feedback. That's because entitled peole believe their perspective of the world is the only one that matters, which often leads to them having impossibly high standards. If they’re not given special treatment, they’ll declare, “This is unacceptable.”
Because they have unrealistic expectations, they think they deserve to be given exactly what they want in both their professional and personal relationships. When they don’t get what they want, they’ll insist that it’s unacceptable, in an attempt to force people to meet their needs. This is why you need to watch out for people who use this phrase and examine whether they are setting a high standard or expecting better for themselves than anyone else.
11. ‘You should be grateful I’m here’
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If you hear someone say something like "you should be grateful I'm here" in any circumstance other than one where they are truly doing you a big favor and not being appreciated, you should be warned. They are probably someone with serious entitlement issues. Worse, they want you to feel like you're beneath them.
These people have an inflated sense of self, which means they truly believe people are graced by their presence. Yet there are usually major discrepancies between how they see themselves and how they treat others, which actually makes them fairly unpleasant to spend time with.
While entitled people often feel lonelier than they let on, they’d never let that slip. Instead, they enter social situations with the mentality that everyone loves them, and that those beneath them should be grateful they even showed up. Worse, they rely on cruelty and demeaning behavior to make themselves feel better, and that is something you don't need in your life.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
