People With Actual Intelligence Never Waste Energy Complaining About These 11 Things
carballo | Shutterstock While gossip can occasionally be bonding for romantic couples, and complaining can be good for venting out stagnant emotions when we don’t feel heard, relying on these communication habits all the time can spark a negative spiral that’s contagious to everyone around us. It keeps us stuck in action if we lean on it for comfort too often, and often ensures that we linger on what’s “missing” or “wrong” in our lives instead of moving forward and focusing on growth.
Whether it’s a bad boss at their job or a hard project they’re working on, people with actual intelligence never waste energy complaining about these things. They may occasionally vent out negative emotions and seek support, but their complaints never erupt without action. When they notice something is wrong or that they’re struggling in a certain area of their lives, their complaints are a redirection and a reminder to change, not necessarily a comforting ritual.
People with actual intelligence never waste energy complaining about these 11 things:
1. Bad friends
PeopleImages | Shutterstock.com
Of course, letting go of a friend and accepting that not every relationship is meant for life is a difficult realization. It’s never easy to let go of people we thought would be in our lives forever, but it’s necessary and natural. Especially if keeping them around means tainting the positive memories and cultivating resentment, sometimes it’s in your best interest to drift apart.
That’s why people with actual intelligence never waste energy complaining about bad friends for too long. If it’s clear there’s an issue that can’t be resolved, and it’s consistently worsening the relationship and their well-being, they’re not afraid to take action. Setting boundaries, creating space, and walking away are all things that come after an intelligent person’s complaints.
2. Minor inconveniences
There’s a reason why strong emotional regulation skills are tied to better life outcomes, from relationships to personal mental health. Discomfort and hardship in life are almost inevitable, so to live a happy and successful life, having the tools to mediate those experiences is key. Whether it’s being comfortable with discomfort or having the ability to regulate complex emotions for better conversations, these are all things that the most intelligent people thrive at doing.
That’s why minor inconveniences aren’t the end of the world and definitely not something that they waste energy complaining about. They know how to handle them and how to regulate their way through them, so they’re not draining themselves on things they can’t control.
3. Things they can’t control
Focusing on what you can control offers empowerment and growth, but when you’re only ever complaining or worrying about what you can’t, there’s a sense of helplessness that seeps in. Whether it’s considering how you’re perceived by others or worrying about minor inconveniences you have no control over, these are things people with actual intelligence never waste energy complaining about.
They prefer to focus on what they can do to add value to their lives. How can they prepare? Regulate their emotions? Cultivate strong support networks and social circles? These are the kinds of choices and decisions that actually make dealing with uncertainty easier.
4. Not being liked by everyone
When you tie your sense of self-esteem and self-worth to how other people perceive you, you’re constantly living your life in accordance with others. When someone doesn’t like you, a relationship is struggling, or you’re forced to spend time alone, all of these feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty inside flare up.
However, people with actual emotional and tangible intelligence never waste energy complaining about not being liked by someone, because they’re self-assured. They gratify themselves from the inside out, so they’re never yearning for validation, reassurance, or attention from others at the expense of relationships or personal stability.
5. Waiting
Siegrist Photography | Shutterstock.com
There’s an art to waiting that unregulated, entitled, and comfort-seeking people tend to overlook. When you’re more focused on the process, empathy toward those around you, and an appreciation for mindfulness, you don’t worry so much about having to wait — whether it’s saving up money to buy something or simply waiting in line at the grocery store.
We’ve grown accustomed as a society to a convenience culture that’s making us meaner and less patient by the day. But people with actual intelligence never waste their energy complaining about waiting or appreciating delayed gratification.
6. Being wrong
People with true intelligence have innately curious minds, according to a study from the Neuron journal, and often lead with this kind of curiosity and open-mindedness in their everyday lives. They’re not afraid to challenge themselves with things they don’t know or understand, and most importantly, they’re not afraid to make mistakes.
Mistakes aren’t “failures” or “weaknesses” to people who leverage them for growth, but learning opportunities and a chance to develop on another level. Whether it’s in their relationships at home or in the workplace, people with actual intelligence never waste their energy complaining about being wrong or making a mistake.
7. Process
People who are intelligent enough to actually set realistic goals and achieve them don’t focus solely on the outcome or success. They’re interested in the journey and committed to the process of things, even if it’s not always easy or comfortable.
People who are gifted with actual intelligence don’t waste their energy bragging about goals and thinking only about the outcome of achieving their dreams, because they invest in the beauty, growth, and intention of the process on the way there.
8. Alone time
While the average person might often complain about cancelled plans or a weekend without any exciting, social events, people with actual intelligence never waste energy complaining about alone time. In fact, they often seek it out and appreciate it on another level — indulging in hobbies that bring them joy and reconnecting with themselves in a deeper way.
So, even though extraversion tends to be rewarded in our society and busyness is a coping mechanism so many insecure people lean on for comfort, the truth is that being alone isn’t the sad, tragic experience we’ve been conditioned into believing it is.
9. Silence
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock
On top of alone time and an appreciation of solitude, people with high intelligence also tend to make space for silence. They’re not wasting their energy complaining about it or sparking negativity by constantly avoiding it, but letting it serve as a moment of mindfulness in their conversations, interactions, and chaotic daily routines.
On top of slowing age-related decline, regular periods of silence also boost self-esteem and emotional intelligence if used healthily. Whether it’s for reflection, hobbies, or regulation, appreciating silence is a skill that most highly intelligent people have in their arsenal.
10. Needing rest
While many workers and adults have been conditioned to glamorize burnout and put off their rest for as long as possible, people with actual intelligence never waste their energy complaining about exhaustion — they simply take the time they need to reenergize themselves.
They’re not afraid to say “no” to people when they’re tired and even more empowered to take their time off at work without guilt. They know that to be their most productive, present self, they have to prioritize the sleep and rest they need to thrive.
11. Constructive feedback
Insecure people, who view mistakes as failures and rely on external validation for comfort, often struggle to accept criticism, even when it’s constructive. They view it as a personal attack, even when it’s a support system to make them the best versions of themselves.
People with actual intelligence and self-assuredness never waste energy complaining about these things. They know that feedback and criticism are inevitable, and sometimes impossible to control, so instead of turning their backs and running away from it, they lean in and focus on where they have room to grow.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
