11 Obvious Traits Usually Only Found In People With Zero Desire To Be Fake
Best smile studio / Shutterstock There are a lot of fake people in the world. Almost everyone has encountered someone who just isn’t authentic at all before, and, really, chances are, most of us have been that person at some point, too. Therapist Dr. Stephanie Azri explained that when people act fake, it’s often because they have an ulterior motive, such as wanting to steal the spotlight or make others feel bad.
People who have absolutely zero desire to be fake feel like they’re becoming rarer by the day, but they are still out there. It’s good to surround yourself with these people because you know they can be trusted. These are some traits usually found only in people who have no interest in being fake. If you recognize these traits in someone, you can trust that they’ll always be real with you.
Here are 11 obvious traits usually only found in people with zero desire to be fake
1. They are consistent
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It seems like it’s becoming more common for people not to be the same person around different groups or in different settings. Maybe they have a version of themselves curated for their friends, another version for family, and yet another version for social media. They don’t show consistency in who they are and who they want to be.
Research has repeatedly shown that consistency is the path to a greater sense of commitment, which fake people probably wouldn’t be very interested in. After all, they can’t even commit to one version of themselves, so why would they care about making commitments in general? People who don’t want to be fake, on the other hand, will show consistency in their actions and not be afraid of commitment.
2. They don’t care if people don’t like them
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People who don’t want to be fake don’t really care if others don’t like them. If someone wanted to be universally liked, they would probably feel the need to change themselves to fit in with every crowd. Real people simply don’t worry about whether other people like them because they know they’ll find the right people who accept them no matter what.
Associate marketing professor Raj Raghunathan, PhD, explained that the best way to get over worrying about what other people think of you is to focus on how you treat others, try not to hurt people, and practice controlling what you pay attention to. This description definitely doesn’t sound like it would fit someone who is fake. Being so aware of others is much more common when someone wants to be real.
3. They know their worth
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There’s a misconception that if you have a strong sense of self-confidence, you must also have a big ego, but there’s a big difference between the two. Ego is all about self-centeredness, while confidence is about believing in yourself. People who don’t want to be fake fall right in that happy medium of possessing self-esteem while also knowing that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
These people know their worth, so they aren’t going to sell themselves short, but they also aren’t going to exaggerate their abilities so they look better. They know they have nothing to prove to other people, regardless of how those other people act. They’re content with who they are, and they aren’t afraid to show it.
4. They admit when they’re wrong
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People who aren’t interested in being fake are quick to admit when they’re wrong. It’s not easy to do so, but those who lean into it will find that it’s a kind of superpower. Taking responsibility for your actions demonstrates deep maturity and wisdom, and it shows others that they can respect and trust you.
Someone who’s fake would have a difficult time admitting that they were wrong because all they care about is their image and how they’re perceived by others. They would worry that if someone knew they were wrong, they would judge them rather than admire them. Worries like that are the last things on a real person’s mind.
5. They are honest
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A person who doesn’t want to be fake will always choose to be honest. This is important, because it’s integral to any relationship. Clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, said that honesty “requires saying what you feel and think without hiding, suppressing, or manipulating your words.” You can’t pretend to be someone else when you’re being honest.
Honesty for a person striving to be real goes beyond just not lying, though. They’ll also always be able to stand behind what they say. Honesty isn’t just something they choose, it’s a part of who they are.
6. They behave with integrity
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Someone with no desire to be fake will always try to do what they say and say what they mean. You can count on them, and they would never let you down for a self-serving purpose. On the other hand, a fake person would have no problem throwing their integrity out the window and using their words as weapons to get whatever they want.
A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin underscored the importance of integrity. Scientists have shown that people with intrinsic goals focused on growth are more likely to have higher well-being. So, integrity isn’t just about the effect you have on other people, but also the impact you have on yourself.
7. They set clear boundaries
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Everyone has boundaries that they have to protect and enforce, but when someone doesn’t want to be fake, there’s a higher chance that those boundaries will be really clear. Boundaries are rarely obvious, of course, but a real person will make sure their boundaries are easily understood by those around them.
There’s a reason boundaries have become such a popular topic. They actually create the framework for your mental and physical health. If you want to feel true happiness rather than constant stress, boundaries are essential. Real people won’t create boundaries to give people greater access to them. They’ll just communicate those boundaries more clearly.
8. They avoid gossip
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Gossiping is something we’ve all been guilty of at some point, and that doesn’t mean that we’re all fake. People who have a strong propensity for gossip do tend to be a little less real than others, though. For people who don’t want to be fake, it’s not just about not dragging people’s names through the mud; it's also about transparent communication without manipulation.
Therapist Hannah Rose shared that participating in gossip fundamentally changes who you are. “When we gossip, we are fertilizing our minds with toxicity and judgment,” she said. “We are much more likely to scrutinize ourselves when we are busy scrutinizing others.” Gossip changes your perspective and distorts your view of both yourself and others, which is probably why fake people love it so much.
9. They value real connections
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People who aren’t interested in being fake are usually very focused on real social connections. The surface-level just doesn’t interest them, even if it means they could have an over-abundance of “friends.” Because they aren’t worried about their image, they don’t care if other people think they have a big circle around them or a small one. In fact, because they want to be authentic, they would much rather be surrounded by a select few trustworthy people.
Having genuine friends might seem like something that only benefits your mental health, but it actually goes far beyond that. People who have strong relationships with close friends actually have a reduced risk of developing heart disease, dementia, and stroke. A fake person may like the way it looks to have a large group of people around them, but it isn’t really benefitting them in any way.
10. They don't look for validation
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Someone who’s not fake isn't looking for validation from the people around them. Most people seek external validation on some level because it’s natural for humans, especially in the age of social media. But, really, there’s nothing more powerful than giving yourself the validation you crave. That’s what real people do.
If someone is fake, they will always be looking for acceptance and validation from others because they’re not truly being themselves. This means they can’t trust themselves, so they can’t validate themselves. People who don’t want to be fake don’t have this problem. Their authenticity lets them know they can trust and rely on themselves.
11. Their behavior reflects their values
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Having a strong set of values will guide you in life and help you know what decisions you should make. As sad as it sounds, people who are fake don’t really have any values that guide them. They’re only interested in receiving other people’s approval and being liked by as many people as possible, so they don’t have strong values that they stick to.
On the other hand, real people hold tightly to their values and let those values guide how they behave. Part of their authenticity comes from their values, which guide them in life and determine who they will be and how they will behave in the world. They’re proud of their values instead of seeing them as something that holds them back.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
