If You Were Raised With Old-School Values, You Probably Still Do These 11 Things
They may be traditional, but they never go out of style.
Josep Suria / Shutterstock While many people, especially in younger generations and within the digital age, are turned off by “traditional” social values and expectations, there are still many old-school values that hold a lot of power in bringing joy, knowledge, sanctity, and grace to your lifestyle. From integrity to family connectedness, mutual respect, and even hard work, the proper application of old-school values can bring intimacy to relationships, self-awareness and self-worth to personal rituals, and joy to your everyday life.
From reworking misguided ideas of “respecting elders” into respect for differences and putting hard work into everyday endeavors for personal growth, if you were raised with old-school values, you probably still do these things. Even if the application of these values looks different in your parents’ and grandparents’ lives, the foundation of these beliefs remains true.
If you were raised with old-school values, you probably still do these 11 things
1. You show up on time
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Being reliable, humble, and dedicated in every aspect of your life, from personal relationships to the workplace, is how you show up as your best self. Whether it’s showing up on time for commitments you’ve made or staying consistent with a personal routine of healthy habits for your own well-being, if you were raised with old-school values around integrity, you probably still do these things.
Showing up on time, keeping commitments, and staying true to your promises isn’t just a means for building better, stronger, and healthier relationships. You’re showing other people respect by respecting their time and energy. It’s also a way to forge better relationships with yourself.
You’re not constantly acting in defiance of your word and commitments, but instead meaning and doing what you say in a way that builds internal trust and confidence.
2. You respect people who are different from yourself
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One of the hardest parts about hearing out and conversing with people who share different opinions from our own is our tendency to react too quickly and take their beliefs personally. Of course, if someone is actively attacking or hurting you in a conversation, setting boundaries and walking away are warranted responses, but sometimes discomfort in other situations isn't entirely bad.
When we impulsively resort to defensiveness, anger, or negativity when someone expresses something that goes against our own beliefs or identity, calling them out to protect ourselves from being hurt, we sever the chances for connection or at least mutual respect and understanding.
However, not taking things personally, having conversations without judgment, and asking inquisitive questions like “Can you tell me more about that?” are likely things you probably still do if you were raised with old-school values like mutual respect. Even with people that you might not be close friends with, it’s possible to have respectful conversations that add perspective, knowledge, and value to your life.
3. You say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
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Even though old-school basic manners like saying “please” and “thank you” are becoming less commonly practiced amongst all age groups, according to a study from the Social Psychology Quarterly, amid rising rates of narcissism and individualism, if you were raised with old-school values, you probably still do these things.
Whether it’s interacting with a service worker, expressing gratitude to a partner, or navigating a professional workspace, you’re not afraid to spend 5 seconds of extra time and effort to say “please” or “thank you” to others. Even if it’s not necessarily warranted by their behavior, you’re willing to offer up basic respect to others, giving them grace in moments where they’re clearly upset or struggling.
4. You write letters and ‘thank you’ notes
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Even though handwritten cards, “thank you” notes, and letters are largely being replaced by more quick and convenient digital alternatives, their sentimental value, surprises, and intentionality hold a lot of power in affecting not just the receiver’s, but also the sender’s well-being. Boosting dopamine in both people and serving as a creative, social, and personal outlet for coping with stress, anxiety, and fear, writing handwritten gifts and letters for others is powerful.
If you were raised with old-school values, you probably still do these things, even if it’s in addition to check-in text messages and phone calls with loved ones. We may underestimate the power of these old-school behaviors, but that doesn’t make them any less effective in boosting our life satisfaction, happiness, and connectedness with others.
5. You know when to get deep
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With the accessibility of social media and the internet today, it can feel impossible not to overshare. It’s easy to lean into the comfort and convenience of long paragraphs of texts to express emotions, trauma-dumping to strangers online, or oversharing about your life instead of pushing yourself toward vulnerability in person.
If you were raised with old-school values, you might’ve had to overcome the stigma of mental health and vulnerability that’s ingrained in many of these traditional mindsets, but now, you know the virtue of finding the right time and place.
You lean into vulnerability in person with partners and friends, picking the right time and space to express emotions, resolve conflict, and talk about concerns in ways that truly benefit your health and social connectedness.
6. You avoid shortcuts
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While there are certainly nuances and misguided notions behind old-school values of hard work, such as the “bootstrap mentality,” if you were raised with traditional values, you likely still appreciate hard work and avoiding shortcuts. You find fulfillment, meaning, and success when you lean into hard work mentalities, rather than procrastination, avoidance, and shortcuts.
Of course, hard work isn’t the end-all, be-all when it comes to true success, wealth, or growth. Still, it can add value to personal wellbeing and rituals, professional development, and self-discipline when it’s leveraged intentionally.
7. You dress appropriately
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Many older generations place a lot of value on following rigid dress codes and restrictive clothing expectations, especially in environments like the workplace, largely because of their endless loyalty to employers and companies. They believe that staying loyal to a company, adhering to strict company expectations, and dressing in a traditional manner are key to success.
If you were raised with old-school values, you may not follow that same mindset, but chances are you know how to dress appropriately. Even with additions of self-expression, comfort, and personal freedom, you know how to show up in an appropriate way, whether it’s at a wedding, the workplace, or a job interview.
8. You clean up after yourself
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Whether it’s in a public place, in someone else’s home, or in your own living space, cleaning up after yourself is one of the habits you still prioritize in life if you were raised with old-school values. You were taught about the virtue and importance of self-respect and respect toward others, and cleaning up after yourself is one of the practices that ensure both are consistently prioritized.
You’re not selfishly leaning into convenience to create more work for someone else down the road, but instead holding yourself accountable.
9. You remember people’s names
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Remembering people’s names tends to add value and connectedness to social interactions that almost always boost our general well-being, mental health, and happiness. It’s a means to not only acknowledge someone else and make them feel seen, but also offer them respect in a conversation by addressing them directly.
Of course, it’s not always easy to put faces to names, and for some, it’s much harder than others, but if you were raised with old-school values, you probably still do these things.
10. You bring things when invited over
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Whether it’s a bottle of something, a bouquet of flowers, or a handwritten note, if you were raised with old-school values, you probably still bring offerings when people invite you over. Hosting is hard, we all know that. And it’s usually the host who ends up feeling underappreciated and undervalued, despite putting in the most effort.
That’s why bringing a gift, an offering, or a small token of appreciation can go such a long way. It allows people to feel seen, even amid the chaos of everyday life.
11. You’re intentional with money
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Even if talking about money or learning financial literacy skills was relatively sparse in your family growing up, intentionality and conserving resources are often one of the old-school values people keep with them into adulthood. Whether it’s adopting a frugal mindset, budgeting money intentionally, or spending thoughtfully, you probably do these things because of the old-school values instilled within you.
You’re less likely to fall victim to consumerist culture or pressures to feed into trends, especially in today’s digital landscape, and more thoughtful about spending your money on quality, longevity, connection, and security.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
