Unhappy Adults Usually Have At Least One Of These 5 Things Wrong With Their Lives
panitanphoto | Shutterstock There are things in your life that can slowly chip away at your happiness until one day you wake up and can't figure out why everything feels so heavy.
If you have felt unhappy lately, or maybe for a long time, and any of these five things sound a little too familiar, it might be time to take a hard, honest look at what's really going on with your life to see if external factors are limiting your happiness. If so, it's time to make a change.
1. They're in a relationship with an unsupportive partner who puts them down
No relationship is ever perfect by all means. And it's not fair to expect to be flourished in love and gifts and praise 24/7. However, it is extremely important that your partner supports you in whatever you do, especially if it is something you are passionate about.
If they use words like “you’ll never be able to do that” or “you’re being unrealistic” when your heart is all in it, ditch them. You do not deserve to be treated this way as there are plenty of other people out there who will support you when you need it the most.
Dr. John Gottman found that contempt, which is basically any behavior that makes your partner feel like they're beneath you, is the strongest predictor of divorce. His studies also found that couples who regularly put each other down tend to get physically sicker, which happens because that kind of negativity takes a toll on your body, too.
2. They try too hard to make their parents proud
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If your parents are controlling, having a relationship with them can be very difficult if you have a mind of your own. They may want you to go down the same career route they did, or have expectations for you to do something you’re good at but don’t necessarily enjoy.
I grew up with very understanding parents, so I am thankful that I’ve always been able to make my own decisions. However, I do wish my parents took my decisions into consideration and focused more on my happiness instead of leaving me feeling lost.
Be patient with them. They may be stuck in a certain mindset, but that doesn’t mean you have to fight with them. If you can’t make them understand, be firm and stand your ground because you have every right to choose your life, not live theirs.
3. Their friends aren't really true friends at all
This one can be a little trickier to spot, but one of the telltale signs you may notice is that your friends seem to put you down without you even realizing it.
Bad friendships can often be difficult to get out of. You may have a lot in common and when you have good times, they are great, but you might notice they are a little controlling at times, especially when you’re hanging out with other people at the same time as them.
Your best friend should be able to lift you up, not tell everybody your secrets or try to outshine you on appearances on a night out. Friends are important to have for your health and mental well-being, but you have to learn the difference between friends that have your back and friends that don’t.
4. They lose themselves around other people
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Have you ever had someone come into your life who almost zaps out your true personality? You’ll find yourself mimicking their ways and their behavior. This tends to happen when both parties are not good for each other. I’ve been guilty for this in the past, especially when I was suffering from insecurity issues.
I tend to mask my true identity to fit in with them so they would like me. A true friend or partner should be able to bring out the best in you, you should feel comfortable becoming your own person. Do not follow their shadow, it will eat at you.
When you start fading into someone else’s world and lose touch with your own interests and identity, that’s a sign you’re not thriving. As dating and relationship coach Ravid Yosef explains, "When you lose yourself in a relationship or marriage, it’s terrifying." Letting your identity slip away can leave you feeling stuck and unfulfilled.
5. Their home environment is unhealthy
Living situations can also take a toll on mental health. If you are still living at home with your family but you hate where you are, remember, your situation won’t stay like this forever. If you have moved out and you aren’t happy with your surroundings, change. If your home is a mess and needs to be decluttered, make a plan to make it a place that feels safe and happy instead of chaotic.
Identify the problem. Is it you that you’re unhappy about the place you’re living in or people you are living with? Think carefully before making any rash decisions, but take steps to start figuring out a happy and safe place to live.
Molly Guilmant is a British writer whose work has been featured on Thought Catalog, Medium, and Unwritten.
