Men Who Are Quietly Panicking About Getting Older Usually Do These 11 Things In Secret
As time goes by, men who are quietly panicking search for find ways to offset the reality of aging.
fizkes / Shutterstock Despite the fact that aging is an inevitable process, not many people are still prepared to go through all of the changes that come with getting older. For men specifically, they may feel this creeping anxiety over what comes next and how their lives will change because of the fact that they're aging. The truth is, most men are sometimes panicking about getting older in ways that are never really discussed. When it comes to conversations around the beauty of getting older and the blessings that come with being able to wake up everyday and gain the experience and knowledge of what it means to live, it's usually talked about with women and rarely ever with men.
But, just as women tend to do things to alleviate wrinkles and participate in nostalgic activities that remind them of their youth, so do men. They have their own secret ways of coping with the realization that they will never be young again. From things like constantly checking their reflections in mirrors to obsessing over their grooming habits lies their desire to have just a bit of control over the parts of their lives that may seem like it's no longer in their hands anymore.
Men who are quietly panicking about getting older usually do these 11 things in secret
1. Hide their gray hair
Diego Cervo | Shutterstock
For some men, their first gray hair can hit them like a ton of bricks as it means aging suddenly feels all the more real. It can often be a dramatic event for them, especially when that single strand of gray stands out immensely against the usual color of their hair. That first strand might send them into a panic, where their first instinct is to try and hide it as best as they can. Whether it's simply plucking it from their head or even just dying their hair altogether, men would rather handle it privately than go out into the world and announce that they're getting significantly older.
Licensed clinical social worker Meredith Gordon explained that finally embracing her gray her made her look at herself differently. "It’s led me down a path of seeing myself from the inside, all the parts I’ve unwittingly covered up to try to belong. At some point, after having colored my hair for three decades, I reached a point where I was ready to look forward instead of back."
Having that gray hair may not mean much to the people around them, and might not even be a noticeable thing, but to them, it feels like the first step into the unknown of aging. They simply can't just let it go, even when gray hairs are natural. They just can't fathom looking into a mirror or reflection and seeing that tiny reminder of how far gone their youth really is.
2. Look up anti-aging hacks
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
It's not just women who are scared of aging and depend on anti-aging tips and tricks to try and delay the inevitable, but men as well. That fear of aging can sometimes keep them up at night to the point where they need to figure out a solution to stop it from happening altogether. Sitting in their beds late at night, some might find themselves mindlessly scrolling through article after article, random Reddit forums, and videos on social media about the best products to stop aging. There is definitely a market for men's personal care, which is actually valued globally at $124.8 billion in 2020 and is projected to more than double to reach $276.9 billion by 2030.
From various tweaks to their skincare routines and even foods they can both incorporate into their diet and cut out completely, they're simply looking for something that'll help preserve even a smidge of their youth. Men would never openly admit that they're furiously looking up these anti-aging tips, but every new discovery means being able to grapple with a concept that makes them extremely uncomfortable.
3. Obsess over old photos and memories
Viktoriia Hnatiuk | Shutterstock
Men who are quietly panicking about having to get older tend to reminisce a lot about the times when they were young. From flipping through old photos of themselves as teenagers and young adults, to constantly thinking about past moments and even bringing them up during conversation, it's usually their subtle way of wanting to live in the past. Through looking at all of these old photos and memories, they're able to notice all the little details that have changed as they've gotten older.
"Constantly measuring our current experiences against past ones can breed discontent. The present rarely lives up to our idealized memories," pointed out psychologist Kevin Bennett.
Having this obsession with memories isn't just about noticing all of the physical changes but about revisiting moments that allow men to reconnect to who they once used to be, and who they secretly wish they could remain. It might seem comforting to them, but living in the past means you're never going to be able to reckon with the present and actually feel comfortable in who you are right now. As much as we sometimes want to take a time machine back to a simpler part of our lives, it's both impossible and will never allow us to actually move on and live a life worth being proud of.
4. Work out even harder
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
Some men believe that the best way to offset aging may actually be the gym. When they're fearing getting older, working out becomes less about prioritizing their health and more about trying to remain strong and capable, even into their older age. As the years go by, they think that every mile run on the treadmill or weight lifted means they can actually keep up with the younger men around them. And if they can keep up with the young adults, it means that their bodies are still able to perform on that level. However, studies have shown that doing more low-impact exercises, like yoga, can help with joint pain, especially as people are aging, rather than doing high-intensity workouts.
This means men may start hitting the gym at random hours of the day, or even just sneaking in an extra workout right before going to bed. They simply don't want others to know that they're heavily overcompensating rather than accepting the reality that growing older means their bodies naturally start to slow down. It doesn't mean they have to give up working out altogether. It simply means that lifting the heaviest weights and running at the fastest pace isn't feasible, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that being the case.
5. Buy expensive grooming tools
BAZA Production | Shutterstock
One of the first places men often turn to is their grooming routine when battling the reality of aging. They no longer think their regular 'ole clippers and drugstore razors are good enough, despite the number of years they might've spent using them. Instead, they start to invest in high-end grooming tools from notable brands and companies. They suddenly want the latest electric shaver and beard trimmer with all the appropriate attachments to look polished and convince themselves that having all these handy items at their disposal means they might be able to slow down the clock.
They justify these purchases, despite the significant dent they make in their finances, because they're motivated by the results instead of facing the reality that even the most expensive razors and clippers won't stop gray hairs and receding hairlines.
6. Check their reflections constantly
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Needing to look at their appearance in every reflection or shiny surface they pass is less about vanity and wanting to just try and pull off a discreet self-check. It might seem like an absentminded behavior, but it's usually men attempting to notice how well they're holding up against time. They want reassurance that a quick glance at their hairline or the skin under their eyes leaves them feeling calm, given the drastic changes. The minute they see even one flaw or evidence of aging, it sends them into such a panic.
Therefore, every walk past a mirror or window is an opportunity to take a quick glance and see if they look the same as they see themselves in their heads. However, despite these checks being meant to be quick and reassuring, they tend to do the opposite. Instead, men are suddenly becoming more aware of what they perceive as being wrong with them. That's why experts encourage people to feel freer about aging, especially when it's been proven to improve both physical functions and a person's self-image. Constantly looking at yourself to see progress of aging is more of a chance to nitpick rather than be okay with the fact that it happens regardless of the things you're doing.
7. Compare themselves to younger friends
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
They'll never admit it out loud, but men who fear getting older will usually try to compare themselves to the younger people in their lives. They're looking to see how fresh and clear their skin is, how they have more energy, and even how thick and full their hair is. Men who do this aren't doing this from a place of jealousy but rather a place of feeling insecure about the fact that they'll never be that young again. They'll keep this mental list about all of the ways they're different from their younger friends, even down to the fact that after a night out, they're able to recover at a much faster pace than they are.
This does little to stop their panic, though. In fact, it probably only makes it worse. Any way you look at it, comparison does very little to put a person at ease. By constantly comparing yourself, you're being set up to experience increased levels of anxiety, depression, and even chronic stress. Everyone's journey through life is their own. Their younger friends might seem impressive now, but they'll also experience aging at some point. It's better to just embrace the stage of life you're at rather than wishing and hoping that you can join someone else's timeline.
8. Rewatch shows from their youth
Jelena Zelen | Shutterstock
Being able to cling to any moment from their youth is something men panicking about aging will do at the drop of a hat. Similar to looking at old photos and thinking of past memories, they'll binge-watch the cartoons they used to enjoy watching on a Saturday morning when they were young, or watch classic shows that make them laugh and reminisce.
It's a less toxic way of wanting to live in the past. While it can bring significant comfort, the safety of the routine can start to feel less about revisiting a show and more about living a version of life where everything feels easy and calm. The appeal of watching all those old shows allows men to relive certain chapters of their lives associated with them. It ends up being a sort of coping mechanism where they can reconnect with a younger version of themselves.
9. Test old clothes to see if they fit
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Trying on the clothing in their closet is a way to see how much their bodies have changed, or if they've stayed the same. Men might pull out an old pair of jeans or a shirt from years ago and try to slip it on to see if it still looks the same. In the privacy of their bedroom, they just want confirmation that their size hasn't changed much because then it will help ease their mind about aging and all of the changes that tend to happen when it comes to getting older.
If the clothes still fit, it's a small victory, but if they don't, the frustration can feel debilitating. The problem with this is that changes to the body are more than normal. There's just no way that we can stay the same size as when we were young. But for men who are struggling with the thought of getting older, it can feel like another reminder of how quickly time is slipping through their fingers.
10. Practice walking with confidence
Desizned | Shutterstock
While this may sound off, the more a man ages, the more likely he is to practice how to pull off a more confident walk. Looking back at his younger years, he may realize that his stride had a bit more bounce and ease to it, while getting older means he's walking with a bit more of a stiff movement. To try and overcompensate for that, some men might rehearse their strut and try to project confidence and youthful energy as a way to dispel the fact that they're getting older.
They might walk around their home with their shoulders back, trying to get a handle on their gait. Their mission is to appear as if they can command a room, just as they might've done in their youth. But it's unlikely that anyone is looking at how they walk and making judgments about them. In their head, though, it's about being able to hold onto a little bit of their dignity as they battle with aging.
11. Plan small adventures to feel alive
Xavier Lorenzo | Shutterstock
One effective coping strategy for men is planning small trips to add some excitement back into their lives. Being young meant having more energy and time to be spontaneous, but as they get older, they realize that being able to do some of those things again can help with the panic they feel about aging. It doesn't have to be a grand trip to a faraway European country. Maybe just going out to a state or area of their city and exploring it all on their own.
The point of it all is to just feel a sense of freedom and a reminder that even as they age, it doesn't mean they have to stop living. Craving those adventures and experiences means tapping into that youthful energy again, and there's nothing wrong with doing that. It can make life feel less dull and daunting by being able to break away from routine and remind themselves that, despite how aging feels sudden and chaotic, there are still ways to regain control.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
