Men Who Don’t Love Their Wives Anymore Do These 11 Things At Home
Men who don't love their wives anymore may only ever reveal their true feelings through subtle behaviors at home.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock While there are many complexities behind the experience of falling out of love or losing respect for a long-term partner, a study published in The Qualitative Report argues that it often stems from feelings of loss and emotional pain. Men who don’t love their wives anymore may not have one specific reason for their fading feelings, but rather face a slew of factors that urge them toward leaving.
Because they may not know what to say or how to say it, or because they simply may not want to lay their cards on the table, men who don't love their wives anymore will often do certain things when they are at home that subtly reveal how they are truly feeling. Of course, it’s possible to rekindle the spark and get back to a healthy place if both spouses want to, but it takes acknowledgement, commitment, and willingness to change in order to do so.
Men who don’t love their wives anymore do these 11 things at home
1. They avoid deep conversations
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Men who don’t love their wives anymore often avoid vulnerability and deep conversations at home. Whether it’s turning away from necessary conflict to resolve concerns, suppressing their own emotions, or replacing deep emotional connection with pettiness, they’d prefer to avoid vulnerability. They may even feel like a roommate in a shared space, focusing solely on responsibilities, household chores, and work, while avoiding deep emotional connections, intimacy, or vulnerability.
Even if they’re occasionally awkward or uncomfortable, especially in these rough patches of a long-term relationship, deep conversations bond couples closer together and are necessary to continue growing and evolving together.
2. They stop complimenting their partner
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Whether it’s in the face of compliments, physical closeness, or even resolving a conflict together verbally, feeling heard by a partner is the foundation of a healthy relationship. People want to feel appreciated, valued, and attractive to their partner, so when one stops offering affection or compliments, it’s easy to feel overlooked.
Men who don’t love their wives anymore may stop complimenting them, and considering that attractiveness plays a much stronger role in building connection and intimacy for men than their female counterparts, as a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology journal argues, this can leave partners feeling isolated and disconnected.
Whether this behavior is sparked by a loss of attraction or physical intimacy, it’s one of the signs that a man has taken a step back from a relationship and is experiencing a loss of romantic and emotional love.
3. They avoid spending time together
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Whether he’s spending more time with friends, overworking himself in the office, or simply avoiding quality time by using his phone as a distraction, a man who actively avoids spending time with his wife is probably experiencing a loss of romantic love. According to psychologist Mark Travers, quality time in a marriage is all about undivided attention between partners, even if it’s just having a conversation on the couch after a long day.
Both partners may be intentional about listening, being present, and focusing on their partner, but when quality time is robbed of time or attention, the void can spark resentment and disconnection.
Of course, a loss of quality time isn’t only a symptom of lost love. It’s also one of the causes. When men don’t actively get quality time with a partner in their lives, they don’t feel prioritized in ways that isolate them from connection with their wives.
4. They keep secrets
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Men who’ve fallen out of love with their wives and desperately want to avoid conflict, arguments, or vulnerability will be actively dishonest. Rather than express how they feel and work together to move forward, they make little lies and avoid quality time with their wives.
Of course, the longer this behavior goes unchecked, the less likely a couple is to come back together in the end. Trust is the foundation of a healthy marriage. It’s required to grow and thrive together. If one partner is being consistently dishonest, breaking trust, and pushing a relationship into betrayal, there’s little to no foundation to work off of.
5. They're always defensive
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Whether it’s a petty argument about the dishes or emotional expression, men who don’t love their wives anymore, especially if they aren’t honest about these feelings, tend to be constantly defensive. They’re suppressing all these complex emotions and avoiding vulnerability about how they truly feel, so of course, they’re going to have emotional outbursts and defensive arguments when their behavior is called out.
This behavior can manifest itself in a number of ways, according to marriage therapist Jason Whiting, from a victim mentality, blame-shifting, and even anger. Still, a loving husband will always put his ego aside to make his wife feel empowered, supported, and loved.
6. They avoid eye contact
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Eye contact is a non-verbal communication tactic that often bonds partners closer together and strengthens their connection, according to a study published in the NeuroImage journal. It may seem simple, but its role in active listening strategies, intimate moments, and passing conversations is more profound than people believe.
When a partner goes out of their way to avoid it, cutting off this line of communication between them and their spouse, it could be a sign that they’re falling out of love or have lost romantic feelings. Men who love their wives will make an effort to look in their eyes, make eye contact, and connect, even if it’s just for a few seconds amid the chaos of the day.
7. They stop saying ‘I love you’
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According to Harvard psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren, a phrase like “I love you” is a simple way of expressing love, affection, and commitment to a partner, whether you’re a year into dating or 3 decades. It’s a means to connect and bond together, even when the stress and chaos of everyday life are seeping into your routine.
However, when a man stops saying “I love you” to his wife, it can lead to separation, making her feel unloved and unseen in devastating ways.
8. They make everything into a petty argument
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There are a number of reasons why husbands may lose their spark in a marriage, from stress to a loss of intimacy, but it often causes disconnect and resentment that can encourage them to start petty and unnecessary arguments regularly. In many ways, this behavior is often unintentionally used to distract a wife from leaning into larger and more vulnerable disputes. If he’s using petty arguments as a distraction from his bigger concerns, he can continue suppressing those thoughts and emotions without consequence in the moment.
Whether it’s being overly judgmental of their partner, hyper-focusing on household chores, or picking apart their language, men who don’t love their wives anymore tend to do these things at home.
9. They spend tons of time alone
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While alone time in a relationship for each partner is essential to their wellbeing, personal health, and individuality, like counselor Suzanne Degges-White argues, too much and it compromises the connection and quality time they also need to thrive together. Healthy couples indulge their personal hobbies, but also make it a priority to be with their partner, giving them undivided attention and affection.
Men who don’t love their wives anymore may be less concerned with finding a balance, instead putting their partner on the back burner and spending all of their time alone, with their other relationships, or distracted by their phone.
10. They don’t plan dates
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According to a report from the Marriage Foundation, partners who go on regular, planned dates with each other tend to boast higher relationship satisfaction and happiness at home. Whether they’re in a new relationship or a long-term marriage, this intentional quality time, undivided attention, and connection are foundational to their longevity, success, trust, and love.
Alongside intentional alone time, when partners come together, they’re more likely to have more natural, open, and vulnerable conversations. They’re not spending all their time together, but they’re also not avoiding quality time.
However, men who don’t love their wives anymore instead put effort into avoiding quality time. They never plan dates, keep their promises when it comes to quality time, and instead consistently put their own needs above those of their wives.
11. They avoid chores
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Considering women and wives tend to take on the majority of household labor and chores, despite working the same amount as, if not more than, their male partners, it’s not surprising that this is often the root of many couples’ resentment toward each other. Many of these wives are already annoyed by and resentful of their partners for their lack of support, so when they further avoid helping, it’s obvious.
Men who don’t love their wives anymore tend to avoid chores at home to prioritize their own alone time, rather than provide support or spend quality time with a partner. They weaponize incompetence, busy themselves with random tasks, and avoid coming home on time to avoid support, not because they’re tired, but because they don’t feel encouraged by love or intimacy to do so.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
