If You're A Truly Authentic Person, These 10 Things Probably Make You Completely Bonkers
Travis182 | Shutterstock When you're a genuine person, you attract plenty of positivity. From the friends you have all the way to the partner you date, everyone you willingly surround yourself with inspires you. But there are downsides to this, including being easily irritated by certain behaviors. Whether it's superficial conversations or conforming to trends, if you're a truly authentic person, these things probably make you completely bonkers.
When you're honest with yourself, it becomes more difficult to be around certain types of people or stay in specific situations. They don't want to involve themselves with individuals who can't be vulnerable, self-reflect, or hide certain parts of their identity.
If you're a truly authentic person, these 10 things probably make you completely bonkers
1. Superficial conversations
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If you're a truly authentic person, you likely have a strong dislike for superficial conversations. Instead of talking about the weather or a new television show, you like to go deep and despise surface-level nonsense.
And you're not to blame, because it's ingrained in who we are, as human beings are naturally wired for connection. Additionally, feeling connected improves our physical and mental health, including controlling blood sugar and body mass index.
When you're in tune with who you are, you're in tune with your natural human instincts. And sometimes that can mean being easily irritated when someone asks about the weather, especially when you really just want to know who they are on a deeper level.
2. Gossiping
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There's nothing that drives authentic people completely bonkers more than those who gossip. As a genuine person, gossiping about others is just flat-out mean, and you dislike the fakeness of it all. You don't see the reason for pointless gossip, because if you have an issue with someone you'd rather say it outright.
And that's a good outlook to have. Because as a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology pointed out, "High-frequency gossipers were perceived as less powerful and were liked less than low-frequency gossipers, and those who gossiped negatively were liked less than those who gossiped positively."
So, not only are gossipers perceived poorly by those around them, but it comes as no surprise that genuine individuals steer clear of them.
3. People who over-apologize
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Authentic people apologize when they are wrong, but tend to become frustrated when meeting individuals who over-apologize. Unfortunately, they can easily spot a person who does this, constantly saying "I'm sorry" for the smallest of things, even when the situation isn't their fault.
That's not something that's sustainable. Not only does this strongly irritate authentic people, but it can also make people be perceived as weaker and unconfident, as a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explained.
4. A lack of compassion
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If you're a truly authentic person, a lack of compassion will probably make you completely bonkers. Because you thrive off getting to know others and finding commonality, you show empathy in order to form a lasting connection. And when someone doesn't do that, it's not only annoying but makes you angry that they don't possess this quality.
According to research published in Cognition, people who have bad character are less likely to be shown compassion or offered help. So, it's a lose-lose for someone who lacks empathy, but a win for you, as it shows your sincerity.
5. People who don't respect boundaries
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Setting boundaries is important for every person, especially as a way to protect their own peace. Genuine people are the most respectful individuals out there. It might seem hard to believe since they often come off as straightforward, but just because someone is up-front doesn't mean they're disrespectful; it just means they want to assert their boundaries in a clear and concise way.
Boundaries affect a person's psychological well-being. And according to clinical psychologist Chad Buck, "If you don't set the limit, then others will set it for you or just ignore that you have limits... people with less effective limits or boundaries are more likely to violate the boundaries of others, as well."
If you're an authentic person, it can drive you bonkers when you come across someone who disrespects your boundaries. They have little regard for the consequences of their actions, too.
6. Dishonesty
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Truly authentic people live and breathe honesty, which is why a lack of integrity gets on their nerves. Not only is dishonesty incredibly rude and disrespectful, but it's also fake. Dishonesty can impact our physical health as well.
A study published in Current Opinion in Psychology found that "lying, being selfish, cheating, and engaging in infidelity are associated with a suite of negative health outcomes," including increased blood pressure and heart rate. So, not only is deception bad for mental health, but physical health as well.
7. Staying stagnant in life
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People who are authentic always look for ways to discover more about themselves. They're always looking inward, determining what they can add to their lives to not only grow as a person, but have fun. They live by their own set of rules and aren't influenced by outside sources.
They understand that if you want to find yourself, you need to introduce yourself to new experiences. They know they need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable in order to flourish, so people who live a stagnant life get under their skin.
Genuine people simply can't wrap their head around why others would want to be comfortable where they are, without the possibility of discovering something new.
8. Toxic positivity
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Whether it's forcing a smile when feeling anxious or dismissing pain by saying "good vibes only," if you're a truly authentic person, these things probably make you completely bonkers. Though genuine individuals are uplifting, they also aren't clueless.
If you're this type of person, you understand what it took for you to get into this mindset of true positivity. Likely, you've been through your fair share of challenges and heartache, but it's only made you stronger and more resilient.
Unfortunately, people who exude toxic positivity tend to strongly irritate authentic people, as they see this behavior as fake. Being positive in this way isn't always a good thing, because people who are shamed by others for not thinking positively often suppress their emotions, making them more preoccupied with those feelings with no way to overcome them.
9. The pressure to conform
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It's exhausting being around other people where everyone seems to agree. It's not that they actually have the same views, but because it's easier than speaking up. But when you're an authentic person, you can feel it deep inside that everyone is filtering their views for approval, creating situations where it's a performance instead of a chance to form real connections.
Authentic people don't do well with the pressure to conform and won't say something they don't mean. And while people tend to conform to perceptual judgments of others in social settings, a genuine person will do no such thing. "Groupthink" is not only very annoying, but it makes you restless and disconnected.
10. Following trends with no explanation
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With social media and technology so prevalent in our lives, it's no wonder people regularly follow the crowd and get into trends without ever explaining to themselves why. When everyone suddenly starts liking the same thing, saying the same phrases, or adopting the same opinions, authentic people see this as someone attaching meaning to things just because they're popular.
Because genuine individuals value self-awareness and originality, following trends without questioning them feels extremely fake and shallow to them. Instead of going with the crowd, authentic people want to know if something actually aligns with them before embracing it. When it doesn't, they have no qualms about sitting it out.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
