8 Calming Steps To Take This Year If You Want Less Stress And More Peace
İlkin Efendiyev | Pexels Almost everyone wants less stress and more peace this year, but whether you realize it or not, we all have an inner critic who gets in the way of that. Your inner critic has good intentions to keep you safe. Unfortunately, that pesky voice can become a problem because it wants to limit you to only doing what is familiar.
You will notice that the negative voice of the inner critic gets louder whenever you are doing something new. But it's not all hopeless: your inner critic can become your inner coach who can lead you toward less stress and more peace. This inner coach can help you grow and can guide you toward deep fulfillment and happiness. Research has suggested you just need to transform the negative self-talk and stress into something that sounds (and feels) a lot more peaceful.
Here are eight calming steps to take this year if you want less stress and more peace:
1. Recognize when your inner critic is speaking
Until you become more self-aware, research found you won't likely notice the negative voice because it is all you hear. You are convinced this is the truth, so why fight it? You will know the inner critic is talking because of the loud, impatient, demeaning, hostile, and judgmental voice.
Once you are aware that the inner critic is actively affecting you, choose to have a conversation with this part of yourself. Give reassurance that this part of yourself is capable of taking care of every part of your being.
2. Name your inner critic
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When you do this, it becomes much easier to converse with this part of you. Be kind to this part of yourself because it wants to keep you safe. An excellent way to quiet your inner critic is by inviting it to use its energy for positive things, such as reminding you to slow down and breathe.
"Ask yourself if what your inner critic is saying is actually true," advised life coach María Tomás-Keegan. "When a criticizing voice speaks up, pause, think about what it means, then ask yourself that question. You can also ask if there's evidence in your life right now that can shoot down the idea in your head, calling it what it is: false."
3. Learn to talk to yourself with more kindness
The modern Enneagram is an ancient tool that can help you to live with a more significant presence. What is presence? Presence allows you to be in the here and now without getting caught up in your ego structure and helps you to inhabit your body, heart, and mind. You feel warm, open, quiet, safe, and joyful when you are present. You are kind to yourself.
You have a home base, which a study showed is your Enneagram type. Once you learn your type, the Enneagram provides a spiritual map to help you connect with your true self. The more you connect with your essence, the more present you become. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?
4. Acknowledge what you already know
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You get into trouble when you are not honest with yourself. Maybe you are trying a new career to please your spouse, and you know it is not for you, deep in your heart. Maybe you pretend you are fine when you are seriously depressed. Whenever you are not honest with yourself, it takes you in an unhealthy direction.
You have probably met people who say they are fine when you know they are not. You won't go for help until you admit you have a problem. It takes a lot of energy to ignore pain and dysfunction in your life. Your inner coach will help you to be honest with yourself and help you to acknowledge when you need help. Research indicated that with practice, your inner coach will help you to catch yourself lying and wake you up to the truth.
5. Get interested, not defensive
Your inner coach will encourage you to be curious about yourself. Instead of getting down and angry with yourself, your inner coach will encourage you to be curious about what is happening within you. The more curious you can be about yourself, the more curious you can be about others. When you are curious, there is no need for you to put yourself or the people you love and care about down.
"It requires courage," advised leadership coach Lisa Lieberman-Wang. "And that courage is, in turn, life-changing and rewarding. Remember that most things we want to achieve take consistent effort over a lifetime. Remember, also, that every journey begins with a single step, a single choice."
6. Do the brave thing
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When you present by inhabiting your three centers of intelligence, you will know deep within yourself what you need to be about in life. You will learn what you are being called to live out, no matter how scary it may feel. You will know what you need to do and the first step you need to take. You will find a deep inner confidence within you. You will be able to do things you never dreamed you were capable of doing. You will surprise yourself over and over again.
7. Trust that things can get better
The wisdom within you will help you to be genuine, honest, and hopeful at the same time. You will deeply connect with your heart, connecting with the life force around the world. You will feel rooted in the world and cosmos through your body and feel connected to the universe through the medium of your mind.
You will know what you need to do and have faith that the world can change when everyone does their part. You will notice that people who are grounded in their inner wisdom can see the bigger picture. People who hone in on this skill can see better ways to work together and share an energy that motivates others into action.
8. Be willing to try things that feel a little risky
When you are grounded in essence, you can see the strengths and gifts within yourself that you have ignored. You learn to take wise risks and do things you would have never done before.
- Maybe you will finally challenge a friend or family member's biased opinions and points of view.
- Maybe you will be more generous with your money and volunteer for organizations that share the same values.
- Maybe you will take a lower-paying salary to do more meaningful work.
- Perhaps you will go back to school because there is something new you want to do.
- You might decide to spend your inheritance and go and work with an organization that helps people to feed themselves.
No matter what you decide to do, your inner coach will be there to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone. Connecting to your inner coach will remind you to connect with your three intelligence centers: the body, heart, and mind. The more you inhabit these three critical centers, the better you will be able to name the people who can support you, what you need to let go of, what you need to learn, and the changes you need to make.
The inner critic will still show itself, but less often, and when it does act up, you will be able to quiet it down much quicker than before. With a quiet inner critic, your inner coach will thrive. Life will still have challenges, but you will experience greater life flow. You will have all the energy you need to follow the gentle, firm voice within you. You will never need to feel alone again.
Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
