Adults Who Were Raised Spoiled Almost Always Say These 11 Phrases When They Don't Get Their Way
They not only feel entitled to convenience, but also other people's time, space, and energy.
Bricolage | Shutterstock While there are many reasons why kids develop entitlement later in life that may not be rooted in their childhood experiences, a Harvard study suggests that parental and household influence typically plays a large role. Especially when it comes to chores and household labor, the more responsibilities and autonomy children have at home, the more altruistic they become — not just within their families, but also beyond.
For kids with little sense of responsibility, accountability, or collaboration at home, it's not uncommon for them to become spoiled adults who expect everyone else to do it all for them — at work, in their relationships, and beyond. From believing they "shouldn't have to wait" to always wondering why they're "wasting their time," adults who were raised spoiled almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way.
Adults who were raised spoiled almost always say these 11 phrases when they don't get their way
1. 'I shouldn't have to wait'
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Whether standing in line at the grocery store or anticipating the success of their career, adults who were raised spoiled believe that they shouldn't have to wait for anything. Ironically, according to psychology professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne, they also don't respect other people's time, making friends wait for them to show up late or strangers around them make time for their convenience.
"I shouldn't have to wait" may not even be a phrase that they say when they don't get their way, but an inner thought any time they face a minor inconvenience. The things — like waiting in line for a coffee or sitting in traffic — that everyone deals with daily are the same things that aggravate adults who feel entitled to rewards and convenience without a second thought.
2. 'That's not fair'
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Adults who were raised in families where their parents solved every problem, gave them whatever they wanted without question, or let them navigate their lives without any kind of responsibility often believe that "fairness" equates to "deservingness." When they don't get what they want or are forced to follow rules they don't like, they view them as "unfair" because in their minds, they're deserving of whatever they want.
While others accept these kinds of things — along with minor inconveniences and unexpected challenges — as the reality of life as an adult, adults who were raised spoiled almost always use a phrase like this one when they don't feel like they're getting their way.
3. 'This is a waste of time'
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Time is a precious commodity for everyone, yet entitled people believe that protecting their own time and avoiding "wasteful" habits is most important, according to psychology professor Art Markman. When it comes to offering small favors, showing up on time, and respecting their loved ones' precious time, they care a whole lot less.
Of course, there are many parenting styles that promote this kind of entitlement, but most spark a lack of empathy, alongside an inflated sense of self-worth. They not only prefer to place their own needs first, rather than helping others without expectation, but they also struggle with regulating their own frustrations and annoyances.
When a friend shows up late by accident or they're doing a task at work that they don't like, it's a "waste of time." However, when they do the same things or delegate the work to others for their own comfort, it's fine.
4. 'This is so inconvenient'
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Dealing with the inconveniences of life and learning to pivot when things don't go your way are things adults just have to deal with. Life is sometimes uncertain and unexpected — not everyone is going to protect you from discomfort or solve your problems for you, like an entitled child's parents once did for them.
That's why adults who were raised spoiled almost always say "this is so inconvenient" when they don't get their way. They believe that their own discomfort is something to be fixed by others, rather than managed by themselves.
5. 'You clearly don't know how to treat people'
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When an entitled adult says something like "you don't know how to treat people," what they really mean is "Why aren't you making me the center of your universe?" They expect everyone, from their co-workers to their parents, and even their partners, to meet their every need without pushback or complaint, so when they set boundaries and advocate for themselves instead, it's disorienting and offensive.
Of course, this is why entitled people often find themselves in a "perpetual loop of distress" later in life, like a study from Case Western University explains, where their needs are forced to be met by themselves, rather than someone else. They feel entitled to pushing other people's boundaries and putting themselves first, but around confident and self-assured people, that behavior doesn't get them very far.
6. 'Why are you making this so difficult?'
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Questions like "Why are you making this so difficult?" are often synonymous with things like "Why are you not doing everything for me?" or "Why do you keep setting boundaries with me?"
Entitled people often manipulate others, whether they realize it or not, to do things for them, solve their problems, and protect them from discomfort without acknowledgement. It's the baseline of what they expect from other people, considering the people they watched to learn the fundamentals of relationships often did that for them.
7. 'You need to fix this'
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Whether it's in the workplace or in their personal lives, entitled people expect others to fix everything for them — from discomfort to tangible mistakes. They struggle to take accountability and regulate their own emotions, according to pediatric psychologist Meghan Walls, because when they made mistakes as children, their parents cleaned up all their messes.
Adults who were raised spoiled almost always say phrases like "you need to fix this" when they don't get their way, because they expect other people to run to their aid. Rather than apologizing and finding learning opportunities in their mistakes, they deflect, blame others, and delegate their own responsibilities to others.
8. 'You're ruining my day'
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If they can't convince other people to do something for them or meet their needs, adults who were raised as spoiled children rely on emotional manipulation with a phrase like "you're ruining my day" to make others feel guilty. It's a way for them to manage their own discomfort, fear, or anxiety by controlling others, according to psychologist Lynn Margolies.
Instead of acknowledging that everyone has their own needs, boundaries, and emotions, they focus solely on their own, adding shame, guilt, and resentment to relationships, even when it's their own mistakes and lack of accountability that started it.
9. 'You owe me'
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Considering spoiled children were raised with a poor example of healthy relationships at home, with parents who met their every need or let them navigate life without responsibility, it's not surprising that transactional dynamics are their norm in adulthood.
In a transactional relationship, people are punished for doing "the wrong thing" and rewarded for doing "right," but in the eyes of an entitled person, that dynamic often manifests itself in an even more toxic way. When they don't get their way, they punish people with the silent treatment, blame, and shame. When they're "forced" to help other people, they expect something in return, hence phrases like "you owe me" or "you're lucky I'm doing this."
10. 'I want to speak to your manager'
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It's not surprising that many entitled people are consistently rude to service workers and demanding in the face of their own discomfort. Like many others, they use these workers as a "scapegoat" for their own feelings of internal inadequacy and discomfort, like psychologist Reena B. Patel suggests, rather than regulating the emotions themselves.
They also view themselves as superior and more "deserving" than other people in their lives, so it's not surprising that strangers or workers around them often face the brunt of that entitlement.
11. 'If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask'
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Many entitled people feel like they can speak to anyone however they'd like without consequence, considering that's exactly what they did with their parents at home. However, when someone in their adult life sets a boundary, calls out their behavior, or sticks up for themselves in the face of disrespect, they are immediately offended.
Adults who were raised spoiled almost always say phrases like "if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask," even when someone else's "opinion" is simply their own self-advocacy, rather than a literal piece of unsolicited advice.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
