Wives Who Say These 11 Phrases To Their Husbands Likely Have Zero Respect For Him Whatsoever
Photoroyalty | Shutterstock While “respect” can be a subjective, elusive term in the context of relationships, according to professor and philosopher Berit Brogaard, there’s no denying that it’s essential to build happy, healthy, long-lasting connections. From offering a sense of dignity to your partner to creating a safe space for them to express their emotions, and even making decisions with their well-being in mind, without respect, in its many forms, partners can fall out of touch.
Of course, it can also be expressed, and sabotaged, in casual conversations at home. For example, wives who say certain phrases to their husbands likely have zero respect for him whatsoever. They’re not interested in crafting safe spaces or offering dignity to his humanity, but instead protecting their own convenience and comfort.
Wives who say these 11 phrases to their husbands likely have zero respect for him whatsoever
1. ‘I shouldn’t have to explain this to you’
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Asking for help, even with a partner at home, can be incredibly uncomfortable and difficult for many people, especially for men who have been socialized from a young age to believe that “strength” is built by invulnerability and hyper-independence. Despite that obstacle of discomfort, a Stanford Report argues that asking for help actually makes people feel more empowered and strengthens their bonds with others.
However, if a wife’s response to her husband’s need for support is always “I shouldn’t have to explain this to you,” that not only encourages him to suppress his emotions and concerns, but also to isolate himself from the support in the relationship that everyone needs to feel important and heard.
2. ‘Why can’t you be more like him?’
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We’re often wired to compare ourselves, because finding belonging and spaces where we “fit in” is a natural human instinct. However, the current state of our “comparison culture” is entirely out of hand, encouraging people to hold themselves and their partners to unrealistic expectations and standards.
A wife who doesn’t respect her husband, as he is right now, is likely to use phrases like “Why can’t you be more like him?” or “her husband doesn’t do that” to shame him into fitting into these rigid expectations. She’s not respecting him or offering him any dignity, but pressuring him to adopt inauthentic behaviors.
Of course, it’s always okay to express concerns about how your partner is showing up for you or in a marriage, but if it comes at the expense of their identity, self-esteem, or connection, it’s likely disrespectful.
3. ‘Here we go again’
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According to a study from the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, it’s often the person on the receiving end of disrespect who feels disconnected from their partner and relationship in the end. There’s an element of resentment and intention that’s impossible to unwind without honesty and open, vulnerable communication — the things that often go overlooked when disrespect is present.
When their partner passive-aggressively brings up concerns, with a phrase like “here we go again,” or completely overlooks and invalidates their feelings by shaming them for speaking up, they get a little bit farther away emotionally every single time.
4. ‘You don’t understand’
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Instead of taking the time to express themselves and work toward resolution in arguments, a disrespectful wife will immediately assume that her partner isn’t “capable of” understanding where she’s coming from. “Understanding” isn’t something that pops out of thin air — it’s something that you have to intentionally cultivate with behaviors like actively listening and creating a safe space.
As a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explains, when couples feel understood by each other, their relationship happiness and satisfaction grow. However, if a wife is using these phrases with her husband, it’s not just understanding together that suffers, but also respect and trust.
5. ‘I don’t care’
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Even if romantic affection and appreciation are widely discussed in the framework of relationship health, experts like research professor Peter Gray suggest that respect is actually more important than love in marriages and long-term relationships. You have to trust that the person you’re with not only respects you but also cares about what you have to say and has your best interests in mind.
However, wives who say phrases like “I don’t care about what you think” or “Did I ask?” to their husbands likely have zero respect or care for them whatsoever. She’s not engaged with what he thinks and likely perceives herself as “better” than him — whether it’s emotionally or otherwise — in ways that sabotage their communication and trust.
6. ‘You’re so sensitive’
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If a partner says something like “you’re overreacting” or “you’re so sensitive” when you’re expressing emotions and concerns, what they’re really afraid of is accountability and vulnerability. Whether they’re running from owning up to their mistakes in the marriage or trying to justify their misguided sense of superiority in the marriage, their actions only convey a sense of disrespect that’s impossible to run from.
Much like a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests about the “point of no return” in relationships, disengagement with a partner, in hard conversations, arguments, and vulnerable interactions, will eventually be the end of a relationship.
7. ‘I knew this would happen’
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When a partner uses a phrase like “I knew this would happen,” it’s clear that they’re expecting the worst from their partner and relationship. They don’t have a foundation of trust to support connection or a sense of connection with their partner that cultivates respect.
As relationship therapist Cheryl Groskopf explained, “This phrase is drenched in negativity. It’s the verbal equivalent of expecting the worst and then patting yourself on the back when it happens.” It cultivates a sense of hopelessness in a husband that often encourages him to believe that he’s incapable of change or progress.
8. ‘That’s not my problem’
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When you’re in a marriage with someone, you’re on a team, whether it’s convenient and comfortable or not. You resolve problems from the same team. Plan your futures and make decisions together. That’s how you cultivate an aura of respect — by relying on, supporting, and crafting togetherness with your partner.
However, women who don’t respect their husbands often weaponize these experiences as “conditional” based on how they’re feeling or whether they’ve gotten something they want. They use phrases like “that’s not my problem” to run from discomfort and others like “if you loved me, you’d...” to guilt their husbands into doing things for them they wouldn’t offer in return.
They’re inherently avoidant partners because they’re more concerned about their own comfort, convenience, and superiority than truly showing up to support the person they’re married to.
9. ‘You’re impossible’
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While feelings of hopelessness and disconnect in a relationship can sometimes be chalked up to marital burnout, according to a study from BMC Women’s Health, where partners are exhausted by loneliness or disconnection, it can also be sparked by disrespect from a single partner.
If a wife is constantly dismissing her husband’s emotions, shaming him into suppressing his concerns, and chipping away at his self-esteem with phrases like “you’re impossible,” he’s probably going to feel hopeless and alone. He’s the “scapegoat,” not just for relationship issues, but for her own feelings of insecurity or shame.
10. ‘I’m not talking about this’
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If a wife shuts down in a conflict or runs away from vulnerability with phrases like “I’m not talking about this,” she’s not only sabotaging the relationship’s health, but also her partner’s. According to a study from Health Psychology Review, being encouraged to suppress emotions can often lead to adverse health outcomes, both physically and mentally. On top of that, people who bottle up their emotions often deal with more aggressive tendencies.
So, a wife disrespecting her husband through emotionally manipulative behaviors and phrases like this one will likely end up sabotaging her husband’s health and sparking a cycle of unhealthy dynamics. She pressures him to bottle up his emotions, leading to aggression and emotional outbursts, only to turn around and shame him for “ruining” the marriage with these misguided coping mechanisms.
11. ‘You’re so needy’
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Part of offering respect and dignity to a partner is giving them a safe space to express themselves. Even when their partners don’t agree or have their own opinions, offering respect means listening, supporting, and accepting a partner. However, wives who say phrases like “you’re so needy” to their husbands in response to their vulnerability likely have zero respect for him whatsoever.
There’s a reason why men often need relationships with women more than their partners — they offer an intentional space for emotional connection and vulnerability that their platonic relationships don’t always have. But if they’re not receiving this safe space, and instead are being pressured to suppress emotions and dismiss their concerns, chances are they’re going to continue to exist in a cycle of loneliness and disconnection.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
