5 Quiet Habits Of A Person Who Feels Invisible In Their Relationship — Even To Themselves
These understated habits can signal a growing feeling of invisibility.
simonapilollatnf | Canva Ask 100 different people what they’re insecure about, and you're likely to get 100 different answers. It’s a sad truth, but everyone is insecure about something.
Insecurities can make you feel unheard, unacknowledged, and invisible. Insecurities that make a person feel invisible, even to themselves, intrude on the healthy aspects of our lives. It can be really difficult to push feelings of invisibility aside and focus on seeing yourself in the present moment.
Here are five quiet habits of a person who feels invisible in their relationship, even to themselves:
1. They find it hard to be happy for their partner
When your partner accomplishes something big or small, it’s a natural response to be happy for them. Their achievements are your achievements, right? Well, probably not if you’re insecure.
You might be too focused on feeling like you’re not doing enough in your life. There’s a certain level of comparison that inevitably shows itself when you’re insecure.
If you can’t bring yourself to share in your partner’s joy, this is a sign that you lack self-confidence and fear that their success will overshadow you. I’ll be the first to tell you, this is no way to strengthen a relationship.
2. They get jealous when their partner spends time with other people
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Letting your partner have relationships outside of the one he has with you may take a lot of courage. When you’re insecure, you have a persistent worry that if you’re not the center of attention at all times, your partner will lose interest.
This heavily connects to the way you feel about yourself. Are you afraid that you’re not worthy of being loved? Do you often question whether or not your partner likes you?
If you answered yes to these questions, it’s safe to assume that your insecurities bring about jealousy when your partner is with friends and family.
3. The love their partner shows isn't enough
Supposing your boyfriend is loving and affectionate, there might be something off if you don’t fully believe his words and actions. Be aware that your reply to “I love you” is “do you?”
The expectations we hold for our partners can be unattainable. There has to be a point where the love he gives you is enough to assure you.
Otherwise, he’ll be overwhelmed by your constant need for reassurance. You must believe in yourself that what he says is the truth. It’s time you start letting a surprise date be a symbol of his love — what more do you need?
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. A date is a date, and is even more important the longer a couple has been together. One study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships showed how planning date nights promotes closeness in relationship goals and self-expansion.
4. They’re afraid to be without their partner
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If the thought of going a long time without your partner makes you incredibly anxious, this might be a sign that you’re insecure in yourself. Do you doubt you have the strength it would take to be on your own for a while?
Long-distance relationships are not easy for anyone. But it’s important to know that you’d survive it if you had to. Just because you’re not with your partner in person doesn’t mean the Earth will stop moving.
Related at a distance poses challenges, as researchers who analyzed in-depth audio diaries of 20 couples. The results of the study "showed that across all 20 couples, the interaction states of being together and being apart mutually enable and constrain one another in many ways." The same as any relationship at any distance.
It’s best to be confident on your own and not place such a high importance on your partner. If they’re ever not in your life, you will still have yourself, and that’s pretty great.
5. They contemplate ending things even if they’re happy
The negative impact of overthinking is going to be more prevalent if you’re insecure in your relationship. Although you may be happy with your partner, it can be easy to psych yourself into thinking you can’t handle the challenges of a relationship.
Researchers looking to see how these patterns are formed found that self-defeating behavior is related to attachment and the impact of distress within social interactions.
This shows that you are letting self-doubt and fear take the lead. When you’re insecure about the bravery you possess, you think it might be easier to just break up with your boyfriend.
However, you shouldn’t give in to what’s easiest, because you are strong enough to get through what’s hardest. Not all hope is lost in overcoming your insecurities in a relationship. It’s possible to gain the confidence needed to be secure in yourself.
Isabella Pacinelli is a freelance writer and marketing manager who covers astrology, spirituality, love, and relationships.
