If You Notice These 11 Things In A Couple's Body Language, They're Not Intimate
LightField Studios | Shutterstock On the outside, couples may play the part of happy and in love. From singing each other's praises to making cute remarks, the average person wouldn't suspect anything is wrong. But when you look a bit closer, their non-verbal communication and habits reveal quite a lot. Whether it's avoiding eye contact or forcing affection, if you notice these things in a couple's body language, they're not intimate.
Because if there's one thing body language can't hide, it's discomfort. No matter how hard a couple might try to convince their loved one's that nothing is wrong in their relationship, their body language and non-verbal cues tell a completely different story. So, if they're engaging in certain behaviors, they might not be as emotionally or physically intimate with one another as they'd like everyone to believe.
If you notice these 11 things in a couple's body language, they're not intimate
1. They rarely face each other when sitting
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If they were strangers, it would make sense why they'd face away from one another. Not feeling comfortable or barely interacting, there's no real reason for some people to constantly face each other when sitting. However, if it's a couple that's avoiding doing so, this may be a sign that something isn't right.
According to psychology professor Ronald E. Riggio, "Subtle cues of the face and eyes are critical in conveying love and affection. Couples who are in love tend to keep their bodies closer to one another, which allows for greater visual attention to subtle facial cues." So, if couples refuse to face each other, there's likely trouble in paradise.
2. There's a noticeable distance between them
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If you notice a huge physical distance in a couple's body language, they're not intimate anymore and may be in a rough patch. But it's not just physical distance; rather, it's emotional, too. From avoiding touch to sitting far away from each other, this shows a lack of intimacy.
Still, just because it's normal doesn't mean it should remain this way. For couples who avoid one another, it will only make that emotional distance worse, leading to more tensions and issues within the marriage. Even if it's hard, they need to take small steps to repair their relationship.
3. Touches look awkward or forced
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While some couples can't hide conflict, others try desperately to show that they're content and happy. Forcing smiles and touches, they put on a show to pretend they're happy and in love when, really, they're unhappy and checked out. If a couple has been together for a while, there's no reason for awkwardness.
Unless something major happened in their life, constant tension isn't a good thing. As Riggio explained, nonverbal cues like rubbing hands together or darting eye movements come off as a couple being nervous or awkward, and this can lead to negative social performance. If something is wrong in the relationship, it's better to get it sorted out.
4. They avoid eye contact
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On the outside, it might not seem like a huge deal, as avoiding eye contact isn't necessarily abnormal. From co-workers to acquaintances, some people don't feel comfortable looking someone in the eye when talking to them. Yet, while this may be true for people who aren't close, when a couple avoids eye contact, they're likely not intimate with each other.
They don't have to stare into their partner's soul, but never looking at their partner while they're talking is strange. More often, it shows that they aren't comfortable. Of course, at the end of the day, it's their business. But if they're acting weird and barely looking at one another, don't be surprised if their relationship comes to a halt.
5. They pay more attention to their phones
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Whether it's spending a lot of time playing games on their phone or watching television on their iPad, rather than engaging with each other, if you notice these things in a couple's body language, they're not intimate. While using a phone can keep their mind occupied when they're away from their partner, making it a pattern is concerning.
Not only is it a sign that they're avoiding their partner, but it also just isn't a good habit, in general. As social psychologist Gwendolyn Seidman said, "People who are frequently phubbed [phone snubbed] tend to be less satisfied with their relationships than those with more attentive partners."
6. They don't mirror one another
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Most couples who are truly connected are almost always in sync. Without needing to communicate, they follow one another's lead and, most importantly, their body language. This is crucial, as psychology professor Nancy Darling pointed out, "Mirroring builds a bond, and we like people who mirror our behavior."
Now, it isn't necessarily the end of the world if they don't do this. However, observing this behavior often shows just how in sync and connected they are. That being said, if there's trouble in paradise, you probably won't be seeing much mirroring, as their emotional and physical intimacy is out of balance.
7. They're closed off from each other
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Once a partner is disconnected, their body won't have a problem showing it. From turning their backs to crossing their arms, it isn't hard to see if a couple is or isn't intimate. Based on how they react around one another, the average person can get some idea of where they're at in the relationship.
It could've been a recent fight or a few months of rough patches. Either way, there's some tension that hasn't been fixed. This doesn't mean anyone should pry into their business, but a change in conversation or light humor makes a difference.
8. They visibly look annoyed
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Most of us get annoyed with our partner at some point in our lives. As much as partners may love and adore each other, there's always going to be something they do that sets one person on edge. But always looking annoyed with someone you're supposed to love is a sign that something needs to change. Whether it's needs not being met or conversations that need to be had, it's crucial to work through differences.
As licensed marriage and family therapist April Eldemire pointed out, "Negativity often works like a slow poison between married partners. Small, unloving interactions repeated over days, months, and years damage the sense of physical and emotional intimacy between two people. This hinders a couple's ability to trust each other... Eventually, the toxic impact of negativity can be so great that the catastrophic failure of a relationship can occur."
9. Smiles don't reach their eyes
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Many couples underestimate just how crucial laughter is in a relationship. From small jokes to creating good memories, having genuine love and affection in a relationship is what gets people through tough times. Everyone has bad days, but never being able to smile around someone you love isn't a good thing.
Whether it's because they don't feel safe, supported, or loved in their relationship, there's something going terribly wrong that needs to be fixed. However, it's nobody's job but that couple. As much as some people may want to help, they must gather up the courage to work through difficulties in their own way.
10. There's no playful teasing
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If you notice a lack of playful teasing in a couple's body language, they're not intimate. Because when a couple's relationship is great, they're always up to something and there's a level of lightheartedness. When that's missing, although they might still love one another, there's something missing.
Whether it's due to stress or finances, this lack of playfulness has likely seeped into other areas of their relationship, causing damage to their intimacy. It might take counseling and time, but any couple can get through those bumps in the road, so long as they're both willing to try.
11. They don't subconsciously protect each other's space
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It might sound strange, but a healthy dose of jealousy and possessiveness is good for a relationship. According to master certified coach Marcia Reynolds, "Both jealousy and envy are natural emotions. Small amounts of jealousy can actually keep a relationship together or inspire attentive actions... Both emotions come from primal instincts that serve to protect ourselves, our families and our possessions."
So, those who never show jealousy are a bit of an oddball out. Because no matter how secure someone is, jealousy is natural. So, if someone isn't fazed by another person getting into their partner's space or face, it's likely a sign that someone in the relationship isn't tuned in.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
