If A Husband Uses These 11 Phrases, He Doesn't Trust His Wife At All
Photoroyalty | Shutterstock Trust often requires vulnerability and courage, which makes it a difficult pillar to cultivate in relationships. But truly, trust is built through small daily actions, rather than grandiose expressions of love and constant discomfort. According to a study from Michigan State University, it's one of the most important parts of any relationship, including a marriage, founded on strong boundaries, communication, honesty, accountability, and generosity.
Yes, trust is built in small moments, but it can also dissipate through them as well. If a husband uses certain phrases, he doesn't trust his wife at all, and it's obvious in these unsuspecting conversations and casual interactions. Once this trust is broken and suffering, everything else — intimacy, romantic love, affection, and commitment — also starts to struggle.
If a husband uses these 11 phrases, he doesn't trust his wife at all
1. 'You can't wear that'
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According to a study from the Contemporary Sociology Journal of Reviews, women tend to build personal identity and express themselves through their clothing. So, when a male partner feels pressured to control what their partner wears or how they express themselves through their wardrobe, it can cause unsettling feelings of shame, insecurity, and mistrust.
Controlling a female partner's clothing choices takes their autonomy away. If they're worried about clothing being "provocative," they're either reminding a partner that they don't trust them or taking their power away and giving it to strangers they've never met.
2. 'Show me your phone then'
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While the mere presence of a phone can harm relationship satisfaction in casual interactions, according to a study from Computers in Human Behavior, when it becomes the root of dwindling trust and disconnection consistently, it often also sparks feelings of exclusion and reduces responsiveness.
That's why if a husband uses a phrase like "show me your phone then" as a means to cope with his own feelings of insecurity or jealousy, he doesn't actually trust his wife at all.
3. 'I know you're lying'
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If a husband uses phrases like "I know you're lying" or "you look guilty," those are some of the more obvious signs that he doesn't trust his wife at all. From small moments after hanging out with friends or being separated to larger arguments and conflicts, he relies on confrontation for a sense of control.
While these feelings of insecurity, which generally promote a need for control, can feed into motivation to better a relationship, when they manifest in phrases like this, they only drive partners further apart.
4. 'Here's another excuse'
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Conversations following a loss of trust or a big betrayal are hardly ever easy in a relationship. It's hard to accept someone's words as the truth and believe them when they express themselves — that's natural. However, if a husband continues to cling to a phrase like "here's another excuse" when his wife is simply explaining and expressing herself, it's not doing any good.
It's not only keeping trust at a minimum in their relationship, but it's also pushing his wife away, making her hold onto shame and guilt that could be easily managed with honesty, vulnerability, and open communication.
5. 'Why would you do that?'
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Constant questioning and expecting an explanation for every small thing are often signs that a man doesn't trust his wife at all. He wants her to justify everything — not in a supportive way, but in a controlling manner.
While this kind of control may feel comforting in fleeting moments to a man dealing with uncertainty in his relationship or even a means to "make up for" the hurt they feel at the hands of their partner's initial deceit, trying to control a partner will always backfire.
6. 'Whatever'
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According to a study from Personal Relationships, the emotional disengagement and withdrawal that typically comes after a loss of trust is the "point of no return" for couples in struggling marriages. If one partner isn't interested in working through issues, expressing themselves, or having hard conversations, there's really no foundation for the future of the connection.
That's why phrases like "whatever" is a sign that a husband doesn't trust his wife at all and is a general "red flag" for the future of their marriage.
7. 'I don't want to talk about it'
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When a partner loses trust, one of the first things that suffers is their communication together. They feel a pressure to protect themselves from being hurt again and lean on defensiveness for a sense of comfort, even if it pushes them farther away from their partner than ever.
They have all their walls back up, making the hard conversations necessary to rebuild trust impossible to manage.
8. 'Don't touch me'
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When a husband loses trust in his partner, everything else starts to crumble in their daily lives. From natural physical affection and intimacy to communication, without the foundation of trust, partners can't thrive together.
Trust deepens intimacy, as clinical psychologist Forrest Talley suggests, but when it's missing from connections, even small acts of physical affection and closeness feel uncomfortable. A husband who doesn't feel emotionally safe or secure at home with his partner will close off — emotionally and physically — steering away from quality time together with phrases like "don't touch me" and "let's not do this right now."
9. 'How can I trust you after...'
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Trust often falls apart after a big betrayal, so it's not surprising that in small moments and conversations afterward, a husband who doesn't trust his wife will leverage that moment for a sense of justification for his behavior. He uses phrases like "How could I trust you after..." to continue weaponizing a big betrayal, even after he's supposedly "moved on" from it.
Leaning into forgiveness after these moments can reduce anger, resentment, and anxiety in a relationship, but only if couples actually mean their apologies and work to move forward together. If a husband continues to bring up an issue, weaponizing it later on, that forgiveness wasn't genuine.
10. 'I'm not doing this'
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Couples who can successfully rebuild trust in their relationships and get back to a healthy, secure place are the ones who talk about the betrayal in extreme detail. They lay it all out on the table and work together to bring the pieces back together. However, if a husband uses a phrase like "I'm not doing this" in the face of a hard conversation over and over again, chances are the relationship is reaching a point of no return.
The start of the marital distress they've been grappling with might have been caused by the betrayal in question, but the continuing spiral of unease and unhappiness is motivated by a husband's emotional disengagement.
11. 'I shouldn't have to ask'
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In the face of vulnerability and lost trust, a husband who no longer trusts his wife may be holding everyone to unrealistic expectations. Even after they've talked about the problem, taken accountability, and found a way to move forward, he still finds himself falling into bad habits that push his wife to be a "mind reader" or conform to his every need as compensation for his hurt.
Of course, it takes a while to rebuild trust, especially after a big betrayal, but continuing to hold your partner to unrealistic expectations isn't fair for anyone and only drives people farther apart. That's why phrases like "I shouldn't have to ask" are signs a man doesn't trust his wife, but also a reminder that they're operating from a place of uncertainty.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
