Men Who Are Losing Interest Always Change These 11 Small Behaviors First
If he's losing interest in the relationship, he'll almost always try these things first.
syedfahadghazanfar / Shutterstock When a man is emotionally invested in a woman, his actions often speak louder than his words. From responding to her texts and calls automatically to taking the initiative to schedule dates in advance, a man will let you know how he feels about you, without needing to say a word.
Similarly, men who are losing interest always change small behaviors first. It may be easy to ignore some of these signs, but when they start to appear, it's often only a matter of time before he ghosts you completely. As much as he might have wanted to be with you in the past, a man who's truly interested in a woman won't engage in these actions, no matter how busy he may be.
Men who are losing interest always change these 11 small behaviors first
1. He texts less frequently
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A man who's into you will find a way to text you, no matter how busy he is. Whether it's during his lunch break or after work, a man who likes a woman will find a way to communicate with her properly. That being said, men who are losing interest always text less frequently. He might not be upfront about it; however, if a woman has to ask him, "Hey, why are you texting me less?" there's a high chance he isn't that into her.
A man who values a woman will always update her without her needing to ask. So, if he's communicating less and only gives a woman an explanation when she pushes for one, run. Even if he is secretly into her, the fact of the matter is that minimal communication is terrible for any relationship. As a study published in 2021 indicates, good communication is a reported contributing factor to a happy and satisfying marriage.
2. His tone becomes more neutral
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On the outside, it may sound silly to over-analyze a man's tone of voice. After spending long hours working, most people don't always sound the most enthusiastic. Yet while this may be the case sometimes, men who are losing interest always change their tone to become more neutral first. It may hurt, but a man who doesn't sound excited to be in her presence likely doesn't want her. It doesn't matter how exhausted he claims he is. If he sounds uninterested, chances are he is uninterested.
Even so, it doesn't hurt to clear things up. While it's tempting to jump to conclusions, a woman will never truly know how a man feels unless she asks. So, if you want to avoid wasting time, be upfront. Message or say, "Hey, I've been wondering where we're at in this relationship. Is this something you'd wish to continue pursuing or not?"
While it may be terrifying, remember: it's even worse to waste time.
3. He stops asking questions about your life
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Whether it's a man or a woman talking, when they're truly interested, they're always going to ask questions. From simple questions like, "What's your favorite color," to deeper questions, they want to truly get to know you and see if you'd possibly be a good match for them. That being said, men who are losing interest will always stop asking questions about your life first. Women won't notice it automatically; however, over time, she'll begin to notice it's a one-sided conversation.
If she isn't initiating things and making a valiant effort, then he isn't responding to her at all. This is hurtful, as she may begin to feel like she's talking too much about herself, or worse, that her story and memories aren't worthy enough to be shared. So, if a man is truly interested, trust that he'll always ask questions.
As doctor of social and personality psychology, Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D., said, "The more they keep the conversation going, get close, touch, and pay attention to you, the more likely it is that they are interested in you."
This means if he isn't, chances are he's just not that into her.
4. He doesn't make plans in advance
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A man with a plan is serious about a woman. Unlike some people, this man understands that women get busy. Between work, family, and school, asking her out at the last minute isn't just an inconvenience. It's also disrespectful of her time, too. So, even if it's hard to wait, a man who is interested in a woman will always find a way to make plans in advance and check in with her.
On the opposite end, men who are losing interest never make plans in advance. Whether he's finicky with his plans, vague, cancels last-minute for no good reason, or simply refuses to, the signs are there. He doesn't want to see her, and he doesn't even respect her. In his eyes, he's either stringing the relationship along or waiting for someone better to come along.
So, if a man isn't clear with his intentions, either ask or move on. Either way, staying in the dark is never a good thing.
5. He stops sharing personal details
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Once a man has his eyes locked onto someone, he begins creating a connection with her fast. From texting and calling every day to sharing personal details, a man who's truly interested in a woman shows it. That being said, men who are losing interest always stop sharing personal details first. Sorry, but if a man never tells a woman about his day and she constantly has to ask, either he's overly stressed out, or he isn't interested.
Because it goes without saying that most people love to talk about themselves, according to psychiatrist Samantha Boardman, M.D., talking about oneself lights up the same areas as when we're eating good food or experiencing intimacy. So, if a woman doesn't know anything about him or what he's been up to lately, chances are these women are wasting time.
6. He seems distracted when you're together
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There's nothing greater than hanging out with the person you like or love. Feeling excited, safe, and happy, most people barely check their phones unless they've been married together for years. That being said, men who are losing interest always seem distracted when you're together. It isn't just periodically checking his phone while they're watching a movie together. Men who aren't interested simply don't pay attention.
When out on a date, he isn't engaged in conversation. When discussing deep topics, he isn't that in tune as he scrolls through his phone and gives one-word responses. It may sound obvious, however, in the moment, it's easy to brush off his behavior as a 'fluke.' Yet if he's doing this constantly, just know it may be a sign that he's slowly losing interest in you.
7. He shows less enthusiasm
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A man who's truly into a woman will always meet her with a level of enthusiasm. It doesn't matter how cold he typically is with other people. When he's truly established a connection with a woman, most men find themselves feeling more relaxed and happy around them. This is because he's let down his guard and is better able to bear his true side to her. However, men who are losing interest always show less enthusiasm when talking to a woman.
He doesn't just sound monotone; he sounds utterly bored with her. No matter what she says or what she shares, by his tone, she can tell that he's lost complete interest in her. Even if she thinks it's all in her head, tone reveals more than people think. As general internist Alex Lickerman, M.D., pointed out, "Tone communicates feelings, even when words don't, and others respond to it. Tone can also reflect underlying tensions and attitudes."
So, if he sounds less enthusiastic, either he's tired or he's simply not into her.
8. He stops prioritizing you
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When someone truly cares about a person, there's no reason they wouldn't put them first. No matter how busy they get or how exhausted they are, they'll always find a way to make time for someone truly special. However, men who are losing interest always stop prioritizing you. It'll start slow, but slowly, a woman will begin to notice that he's simply not that into her.
From him never being there when she needs it to him brushing her off to go hang out with friends, he'll make her feel like a second option. And while men have their obligations and priorities, if he's always bailing to be with someone else, chances are he's leading you on.
9. He stops noticing the little things about you
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Most men who are into a woman will instantly notice when something is different. Whether it's a hair color change or a new outfit she has never worn before, he can't help but notice every single detail about her. Yet, men who are losing interest always stop noticing the little things about you. It's hurtful, but at the end of the day, he doesn't care. Whether she changes her hair or her nails, he doesn't take the time to truly observe her.
So busy on his phone, he will only ever notice something when she points it out. This isn't great, as feeling ignored leads to a bucketload of insecurity. As a social psychology researcher and lecturer, Deming (Adam) Wang, Ph.D., explained, "Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention."
So, never feel the need to stay just to see if it works out. If he can't notice something as big as a new hair color, he probably isn't the partner for you.
10. He becomes inconsistent
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Men who want to keep a woman will do everything in their power to ensure she doesn't slip away. Whether it's planning beautiful dates or sending a cute voice message every day, their actions are consistent. However, men who are losing interest always become inconsistent first. It's hurtful to have a man go from giving it his all to barely texting back. Yet once a man is done, he's done.
It won't happen overnight, but a woman will feel his interest slip away. He will no longer plan dates or consistently make plans with her. Feeling as if there's nothing more to get from the dynamic, he'll string her along until there's nothing left to do. So, if a woman finds herself in this situation, run.
11. He doesn't try to impress you anymore
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Finally, men who are losing interest never want to impress you anymore. As most couples know, relationships take hard work. It doesn't matter how long a couple has been together. If he isn't continuing to impress her, the relationship is bound to end in disaster. As licensed clinical social worker Assael Romanelli, Ph.D., LCSW said, "Relationships aren't about efficiency. The best way to strengthen your friendship and love is through shared time and presence."
Still, many women make excuses for his behavior. Whether it's "He's too tired," or "We've been together for so long, we don't need to celebrate Valentine's Day," all of these excuses are really just coping mechanisms that you're using to hide the truth.
So, if a woman wants to see more effort, request it. While it's intimidating and uncomfortable, it's better to give him a chance to fix his behavior, rather than sit in uncertainty.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
