If A Man Loves You In A Way That Feels Safe, He’ll Do These 11 Things Without Asking
You can always count on a man who loves you in a safe way to do these gestures without being asked.
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock Finding the perfect partner who makes love feel safe is special. It can be hard to connect with someone in a meaningful way. Men can approach a relationship with fear. They may be concerned that they are going to get their heart broken. When they find someone they truly feel safe with, things change. They begin to open up in special ways.
A man who loves you in a way that feels safe will show up in ways that matter. He’s not looking to only help himself. He’s not looking out for his best interest over yours. Instead, he wants to share the good with you. He is looking out for your relationship. He wants to make you happy. Since he feels this way, he’ll be present in a way that you may not be used to in your previous relationships. You won’t have to ask him to do these things for you; he will do them because he loves you and makes you feel safe and appreciated.
If a man loves you in a way that feels safe, he’ll do these 11 things without asking
1. He listens without judgment
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When a man loves you in a way that feels safe, you can talk to him about anything. You don’t have to ask him to listen to you without judgment. He shows up for you in a way that makes you happy. He wants to make you feel heard. He never acts like your feelings are not worth listening to.
You don’t have to ask him to actively listen to you. He doesn’t interrupt. He wants you to have the space you need to talk about anything and everything. He does not want to make you feel unheard. He will always provide you with the most attentive listening skills.
2. He respects your boundaries
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If you feel safe with a man, he is always going to respect your boundaries without having to be asked. He wants to give you everything you want and need. You will know you are safe with him when he never pushes your boundaries or causes you to feel concerned.
“Men that respect boundaries are honorable men. They just are,” says Lisa Hawkins for Consciously Awake Counseling.“Heartbreak is a story we tell ourselves. In reality, it isn’t true. Though painful, our hearts are grieving loss and not broken. It does not excuse disrespecting boundaries. It doesn’t excuse unacceptable behavior. Men that respect boundaries are men that women can respect.”
3. He always shows up
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A man who never lets you down is special. He doesn’t want to make you feel anxious or unhappy. When he loves you in a way that feels safe, he always holds up his end of an agreement. You don’t have to ask him to confirm plans because they mean enough to him that he will follow through without pestering.
There are few things more frustrating than a man who you never know if he is going to hold up his end of a deal. You make plans, but always have to check in. Usually, he cancels. When you find the right guy, this will never happen. You won’t have to ask him to stay true to his word; he does so because he deeply cares about you.
4. He checks in throughout the day
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Have you ever had to constantly bug a man you were seeing to text you back? Or lived with the anxiety that he was up to no good because he was ignoring your texts? This type of man never makes you feel safe because you are always doubting them. You know you’re with the right person when he doesn’t have to be asked to text you back. He texts you first because he wants to talk to you.
“When a guy likes you, his texting style may exhibit signs of genuine interest and enthusiasm. He is likely to respond promptly, initiate conversations, and invest effort into engaging with you. His messages may be filled with emojis or emoticons to express emotions playfully,” says Sylvia Smith for Marriage.com. “He may ask personal questions to get to know you better and share compliments to make you feel appreciated. Additionally, he may suggest plans to spend time together, demonstrating a desire to deepen your connection beyond texting.”
5. He helps you grow
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Sometimes, you find yourself in a relationship with a man who doesn’t care about helping you grow as a person. He doesn’t have any drive, so he isn’t going to encourage you to work hard to achieve your dreams. Sadly, men like this can be common. However, there are good guys out there, ones that will love you in a way that feels safe, who just want to see you succeed.
You won’t have to ask him for encouragement. He provides it because he loves you. He wants you to be the best you can be. He wants to grow with you. He won’t need to ask for your permission to grow together. He will naturally make it happen because he wants to. A man like this is a rare gem!
6. He takes accountability
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We have all been in relationships where getting an apology was like pulling teeth. Men can struggle to let their guard down and admit when they are wrong. Society has taught them that admitting failure makes them weak. If a man loves you in a way that feels safe, he’ll apologize without you having to ask because he cares about your feelings.
“Growing up in this social context doesn’t mean that boys never apologized. But apologizing did carry a different meaning. The bar for apologizing was higher. Apologies typically were saved for more serious missteps and for contexts in which their words would not be used against them,” says Amanda Rose, Ph.D. A man who loves you in a way that feels safe has worked through these issues and provides love and support without being asked.
7. He makes you feel seen
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Have you ever been with a man who made you feel like you didn’t matter in the relationship? He never went out of his way to show you love and support. Instead, you seemed like a bother to him. A good man will never make you feel this way. In fact, he’ll make you feel seen and heard without being asked.
These men make for the best partners. They provide love that feels truly safe. These men are happy to show the love and support their partner needs. They don’t need to be asked to make them feel seen and loved. They do it because they genuinely feel that way.
8. He includes you in his life
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You never need to ask a partner who makes you feel loved in a safe way to include you in his life. He will introduce you to his friends and family instantly. He invites you to spend time with them. When he gets invited to events for work, he always makes sure you can come along. He wants you to know just who he is, and by including you in his life and with his friends, it makes a difference.
“Another way of saying 'I love you' is taking you home to meet the family and close, meaningful friends. This is often an indicator that the man has deeper feelings for you. Not only does it say that he's proud of you, but he wants to connect you with the people who mean the most to him. He wants you to care about them, and for them to care about you as well. This is a sure sign that intimacy and love are increasing for him, and that you are becoming a significant part of his life,” says Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. “Some women complain a great deal about not having met the family and being kept separate and apart. When this goes on for too long in a relationship, it can be a sign that the depth of his feelings for you, and his involvement, are lacking.”
9. He provides emotional support
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I know I have been in relationships that completely lacked emotional support. It can feel impossible to truly open up to someone who refuses to give you the support you need. Men who love you in a way that feels truly safe will never make you ask for their emotional support. They’ll give you what you need without having to be asked.
Emotional support strengthens the bond between two people. It’s something crucial for a romantic relationship. If a man is unable to provide it, you will never feel safe with him. However, when you find the right man, you’ll connect emotionally, and he will support you through everything without you having to ask at all.
10. His love is unconditional
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Unconditional love feels like the bare minimum to ask of a man. When you’re in a relationship, it feels like something that should come naturally. However, some men struggle to provide this type of love. They may think it’s too difficult for them to do, or they simply don’t care enough to try. A man whose love feels safe never has to wait to be asked to show you genuine, true love; he does it because he wants to.
“Unconditional love plays an important role in relationships, but that doesn't always mean it is easy. To feel safe in a relationship, it makes sense that you need to feel as though the other person is not going to abandon you on a whim. You need to know that the person is committed to loving you unconditionally, no matter what the future brings,” writes Arlin Cuncic, MA.
11. He protects your peace
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A man who truly loves you will protect your peace with ease. You don’t have to ask him to treat you with love and respect. He doesn’t ever start an unnecessary fight. When you do argue, he is great at diffusing the situation and keeping his cool. You can talk through your problems well. This type of man provides a love that feels extremely safe.
Protecting your peace means more than just between the two of you. This type of man will go out of his way to keep drama away from you. If he notices one of his friends talking poorly about you, he will stand up for you. He likely won’t tell you it happened, so you don’t have an added worry to your plate.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
