11 Ways A Safe Man Provides For The Person He Loves When He’s In A Good Relationship
When a man is in love, there's nothing he wouldn't do for his partner.
Alexander Shunevich | Shutterstock A man might not say "I love you" all the time, but there are many ways a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship. From creating a safe space for his partner to providing a vision for the future, these small actions aren't always that obvious, but it doesn't make it any less meaningful.
In a world that's full of insincerity, finding someone who cherishes their partner and nourishes their soul is hard to come by. What ways do men provide beyond finances? How do these things nourish their partner's soul? The big question is, how can you really tell how serious a man is about his relationship by looking at his actions — or maybe even the things he doesn’t do?
11 ways a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship:
1. He creates a safe presence
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When he's in a good relationship, a man provides for the person he loves by being a safe presence. Many men struggle to provide this safe presence. Their inability to manage stress, along with tendencies to lash out or withdraw, often reflects how much they love their partner.
When he's truly infatuated, there's nothing a man wouldn't do to give his partner peace of mind. As a result, a man in love is more than willing to do the inner work needed to become the partner he should be for the relationship to flourish. And while this might not be easy, his hard work is bound to pay off as his partner feels increasingly compelled to let their guard down.
This is important, as letting their guard down allows for vulnerability and better communication. According to licensed couple's counselor Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC, "Being vulnerable creates emotional intimacy and connection. Opening yourself to your partner shows and builds trust and helps them understand you on a deeper level." So, while it might not be easy, a man who's truly in love will do everything in his power to keep the good relationship he has going.
2. He leads with clear direction
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In the past, people might've encountered exes without clear direction about anything. From discussing the future to figuring out how he felt, most people have encountered men who don't know how to take the reins in the relationship, let alone their own lives. Luckily, this all changes, as a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship by having clear direction.
It doesn't take much for him to give his partner the reassurance they need to flourish. From the simple things like figuring out what to eat, to the big things like figuring out the best place to move, a man truly in love will provide his partner with clear direction.
On the outside, this might seem unnecessary and downright controlling. After all, shouldn't his partner have a say in where the relationship is headed? And while both parties need to discuss things together, there's a huge difference between having direction and simply taking control.
According to licensed clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., controlling partners tend to isolate their partner, criticize, become jealous, threaten, create conditional love, use guilt, or try snooping. A man with a clear direction will suggest something while weighing in on his partner's opinions. So, if he gives suggestions and knows what he wants, don't panic — a man with clear direction is simply in love and knows what he wants.
3. He shares his vision for the future
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What does he want out of the relationship? Where does he see the relationship headed in ten years? While it might sound like a job interview, there's no denying that a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship by sharing his vision for the future.
Most men who don't plan on staying for long will never discuss where they see the relationship headed. Filled with doubt and carelessness, these men will drag their partners along as they waste years of their time betting on 'we will see where things head.'
However, a man who is truly in love and committed will never leave his partner second-guessing. Instead, he'll reassure his partner by mentioning where he sees the relationship headed. Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., explained that this is a good thing: "Making plans builds a bond and a stronger sense of security in our hearts." So, if a man is providing this now, keep encouraging it; he's most likely in love with the relationship.
4. He communicates openly and honestly
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Open and honest communication seems straightforward, doesn’t it? While it should be easy, many partners find it challenging in their relationships. From men being unable to express their emotions to simply shutting down and refusing to talk, a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship by communicating openly and honestly.
A safe man understands that communication can either make or break the relationship. Even so, opening up isn't always easy. Men don't want to upset their partners by being honest, but they also don't want to create distance by being dishonest. This often puts them in a difficult situation in which they aren't sure where to go from there. A safe man will almost always choose openness and honesty in his relationship.
While it might not always be the easiest thing out there, honesty helps men connect better with their partners. As clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., said, "Our ability to be open and truthful with a partner is a sign of trust and security in the relationship." So, if a safe man is providing this in the relationship, he likely loves his relationship.
5. He shows up with consistency and reliability
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Finding consistent partners can be a challenge these days. If you look at social media, you might come across some troubling tales about men not being there for their partners or not showing up when it truly matters. That being said, a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship by being consistent and reliable.
He might not always get it right, but a man truly in love will almost always try to be consistent and reliable. Whether that means writing things down in a schedule so he won't forget, or setting multiple alarm clocks to ensure he's there on time, a man in love will find a way to be there for his partner no matter what.
Consistency and reliability are crucial factors that can determine the success or failure of a relationship. According to author, lecturer, and researcher George S. Everly, Jr., PhD, ABPP, FACLP, "Reliability communicates maturity, predictability, and trustworthiness." If a man is inconsistent or unreliable, it may be time to consider moving on. — he might not be genuinely invested in the relationship he's currently in.
6. He offers encouragement and support
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A safe man looks after the one he loves in a healthy relationship by offering encouragement and support. While it may seem straightforward, finding a man who embodies these qualities is rare. In today’s world, it's common to see men who propose at inappropriate moments or react negatively when their partner achieves something. From feeling envious of their partner's successes to drawing attention away by proposing during a marathon, the instances of men showing a lack of support and encouragement are astonishing, to say the least.
A safe man isn't afraid to show off and support his partner. From encouraging his partner to do their best to finding ways to meet their needs, a man truly in love and invested in a good relationship will stop at nothing to bring positivity into it. This is important, as Shruti S. Poulsen, Ph.D., wrote, "Stable and happy couples share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones."
7. He takes accountability
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In a relationship, there will always be a point at which tensions fly and people say things that they probably should've kept to themselves. Still, the difference between a good and bad relationship isn't always what happens during the moment; it's what happens after disaster strikes.
This is why a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship by providing accountability. Few feelings are worse than admitting you're wrong. While many portray accountability as simple, the reality is that it's a difficult truth to face.
According to mental health professional Jamie Cannon, MS, LPC, "No one takes accountability anymore because to do so has somehow become an indication of weakness, a trait avoided at all costs to survive the hectic environment we live in." Still, taking accountability is necessary if someone truly wants to stay in a good relationship. As Jason Whiting, Ph.D., explained, "Chronic defensiveness prevents growth and change and is a predictor of divorce and relationship failure." So, even if it's hard, if a man truly adores his partner, he'll always own up to things.
8. He contributes through acts of service
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Every person has different needs in relationships. For some, they prioritize physical touch or words of affirmation. For others, they prefer material goods over hearing the words 'I love you.' Still, if there's one thing most people would agree on, it’s that receiving acts of service is a wonderful feeling.
This is probably why a safe man provides for the person he loves when he's in a good relationship by engaging in acts of service. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to show their partners they care about them. From refusing to get them flowers after a bad day to never cooking or cleaning, there are many ways men fail in this department.
When a man is in love and has a good relationship, he'll do anything to make his partner smile. Even if he prefers not to wash dishes or cook, he'll do it for the sake of his relationship. These spontaneous acts of kindness benefit not only the relationship but also his overall well-being.
A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies shows that being kind makes people happier, which gives men even more motivation to continue their efforts.
9.He respects his partner's autonomy
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It sounds simple, right? Most men should respect their partner's autonomy and freedom to do what they want (within reason). Unfortunately, this trait is pretty hard to come by. Whether it's jealousy or feeling the need to control and cage someone, some men restrict their partners.
From preventing their partner from socializing to dissuading career changes, a man who disregards his partner's independence is a clear warning sign. A secure man supports his partner in a good relationship by honoring their autonomy.
Respecting autonomy is much more than allowing one's partner to make decisions. Instead, it is about loving them so much that you'll respect their need for freedom and pursue their dreams in life.
For some men, this may be frightening, as their thoughts immediately jump to worst-case scenarios. What if they cheat? Or what if they decide they can do better and leave the relationship? Although these worries are understandable, in a healthy relationship where a man truly trusts and loves his partner, he will set aside these unfounded fears and honor his partner's need for independence, despite the difficulty.
10. He emotionally intelligent
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Let's face it: meeting someone with true emotional intelligence is hard. Many people struggle with emotional intelligence due to a lack of parental guidance or unresolved trauma, which can negatively impact otherwise healthy relationships.
It's really unfortunate that some individuals might make excuses, throw tantrums, or belittle their partner, only to later apologize because they felt they 'weren't thinking straight.' Fortunately, a safe man stands apart from this behavior because he knows that one of the best ways to support the person he loves in a healthy relationship is through being emotionally intelligent.
Emotional intelligence isn't just healing for the man; it's healing for his partner as well. When a man demonstrates emotional intelligence in the relationship, he expresses his feelings while also respectfully accommodating his partner's feelings. This, in turn, allows his partner to feel safe to open up, effectively leading to better conversations and, most importantly, a better relationship.
11. He honors boundaries
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Ultimately, a way a secure man supports the one he loves in a healthy relationship is by honoring boundaries. It's important to remember that boundaries are not only for the other person; they are also for your own well-being. Despite what some men might believe, everyone, including men, has the right to establish boundaries and have them respected.
On the outside, boundaries might just seem like another way to restrict. However, they can heal, slowing certain aspects of the relationship down until the other person is ready to progress. Even if men and their partners have boundaries they never want to cross, these boundaries can be freeing, as they establish a framework of what can and cannot be explored.
This is good, as it removes the pressure of messing up or accidentally doing something that triggers or sets their partner off. So, even if initially uncomfortable, finding ways to implement those boundaries is another way a man shows his partner that he's in love.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
