11 Things High Value People Notice Instantly About People Who Are Lost In Life
High-value people can tell pretty easily when someone else is drifting away.
Kitja Kitja / Shutterstock There are many people who are lost in life and try to pretend that they have everything together, but those who have struggled to become high-value can tell when someone is faking it. They could look put together from the outside, but in reality, they have been doing the same routine over and over again with no actual goals of improving or changing their life.
This affects many people. According to a report from Harvard, more than half of young adults are struggling to find meaning in their lives. To find a sense of purpose, they need to first recognize the many ways they're masking the fact that they're not okay, so that the pattern doesn't repeat itself.
These are 11 things high value people notice instantly about people who are lost in life
1. They have no sense of direction
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People who are lost in life need to set a goal for themselves so that they can have a sense of direction. It can be easy to feel comfortable in a job where you do the same thing every single day, with no projects that can help give motivation to take on something bigger than the day-to-day tasks. When they have a sense of direction, it not only provides a goal to reach but also enriches their life by pushing them to be better.
Not only does this make them feel better, but it's also scientifically proven to improve your quality of life. Research has shown that those who have a sense of purpose in their life have a lower risk of dementia.
2. They change personalities with different friend groups
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High-value people don't feel the need to change their personality to fit into different groups of people. Those who are lost in life will try to find friends and adapt to what they like so that they can feel as though they fit in, even though they're just trying to be relatable.
There is never a reason why you should change your personality or way of life so that you can feel a part of something. The more you act like yourself and embrace your own individual personality, the more you'll be able to attract people who like you for you and not someone you're pretending to be.
3. They are always starting over
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People who are lost in life often think that if they were to move to a different city and simply start over, it would help them find a purpose in life. When in reality, if there is not a set goal put into place when they start over, there will never be any actual growth happening.
If their plan is to move somewhere they haven't lived before in hopes of discovering a new meaning for themselves, a good first step would be to figure out why a certain city or town calls to them. Do they want to move to the suburbs in hopes of a close-knit and slow life? Or do they want to move to the city for a job that always keeps them on their toes? Figuring out what they truly need helps them plan out how to get there.
4. They avoid accountability
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When someone would rather find an excuse than take accountability, they are probably lost in life and are trying to blame someone else for it. People who have high values will always respect themselves and own up to the mistakes they have made instead of ignoring them. Fixing mistakes pushes someone to become a better person than they were before.
People who refuse to admit that they were in the wrong are also refusing to change their behavior, and ultimately, they experience no personal growth. Once they are capable of holding themselves accountable, not only will it help them see progress at work, but they will also have a stronger sense of control over their lives.
5. They seek validation over purpose
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People who are lost in life often struggle to find their purpose and may turn to the validation of others to help them feel better. They probably become addicted to likes and comments when they post on Instagram as a way to escape their real-life problems.
When they become engulfed in the world of social media, they will do anything to keep those likes coming. Some might even become someone they are not because that's what's boosting more interactions. This is a scary habit that is difficult to break.
"If an individual puts the opinion, approval, or recognition of someone else over their own feelings, they will need that external, other person's validation on an ongoing basis," says Sherry Gabba, a licensed clinical social worker.
6. They chase quick fixes
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When someone is feeling lost in life, they will often want to ignore that feeling and redirect their energy on something else that makes them forget about their struggle to find meaning. They could take on different types of hobbies every month or so after they start to find the previous one too challenging to continue. The thing about purpose is that there needs to be consistency; they can't just give up when things start to get hard, no real growth will develop if they do.
If they want to take on a fun hobby to distract themselves from work, they need to actually dedicate time and commitment into that hobby. This way, they'll learn that even small things deserve care and attention. Interested in learning how to paint? Finding a class or community that does so can make this person feel like they belong somewhere and even bring passion back into their life.
7. They don't follow through on promises
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High-value people also value their commitment to others and not just themselves. Those who are lost in life often worry too much about their own needs instead of trying to nourish their relationships with people in their lives.
By setting a promise with someone, they are stating that they have the intention of staying committed to it. When this person is not able to follow through on their promise, what example are they setting for their promises to themselves?
8. They resist feedback
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A person who is lost in life is often lost because they refuse to accept any feedback, and this leads to having no personal or professional growth. They need to learn to take constructive criticism and learn from it so they can become a better person, worker, or even partner.
High-value people are emotionally intelligent and are capable of listening to criticism objectively since it's viewed as valuable input. Being able to deal with feedback positively is an important life skill to help accelerate your personal development.
9. They mistake aesthetics for identity
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There's a certain look to people who have their life together, and those who are lost in their own will try to steal that same look. They often believe that people will assume they have their life together or even respect them more if they're wearing office-professional attire with a coffee from an overly expensive café in hand.
They need to develop real goals to regain control over their life, instead of trying to look the part. Often, the people they see who appear to have it all are also quietly struggling.
10. They stop being curious
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To achieve more professional and personal growth, the mind needs to remain curious, and people who are lost in life often shut out their childlike curiosity. Having the intention of always wanting to learn something new will lead to different paths in their life that wouldn't have opened up otherwise. When this person embraces their curiosity in their everyday life, they also welcome it at their job.
If they were to ask their coworker how they fixed the problem that they previously had themselves when working on an assignment, it would lead to self-improvement. Curiosity at work offers a different perspective on how they do their day-to-day tasks. Of course, this can be applied to other life situations. When someone decides to stop learning, this is a sign that they are choosing to just cruise through life.
11. They don't know what they stand for
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When this person becomes so lost in life, they also forget what they even stand for, and this stunts their personal growth. With no defined values or morals, choosing a path in life to actively pursue becomes difficult. By determining what values they want to follow, this person can figure out what direction their life will go in by having those values influence their life decisions. It's also important to make up their own values rather than choosing the same ones as the people around them.
"By buying into popular culture’s limiting definitions of success and failure rather than choosing definitions based on your own values, you can’t become truly successful and happy," says Dr. Jim Taylor. "...because you are forced down a path that is, for most people, impossible to attain and that is not truly yours."
When someone can truly figure out what they value and what they are looking for in life, they are then able to forge their own path, disregarding any outside influences, unless, of course, they are receiving feedback that can help improve their way of life and work.
Doreen Albuerne is a writer with a bachelor's degree in journalism who covers relationships, mental health, and lifestyle topics.
