People Who Secretly Feel More Special Than Everyone Else Almost Always Complain About These 11 Little Things
Some people give themselves more credit than they should and expect everyone else to do the same.
AntGor / Shutterstock Let’s face it, we have all had our moments where we thought we were better than someone else. Even if that was a temporary feeling, it’s human nature to perceive ourselves as special. Of course, self-esteem is a complicated matter. I know for me, I'm always proud of the work I do while volunteering, and I think that is special. However, my confidence wavers when it comes to other tasks. Then there are people whose self-esteem is so high that they believe they are more special than everyone else, and they almost always have something to complain about.
“We simply assume that we’re kinder, more honest, more realistic, more wholesome than those around us. After all, we’re married to ourselves for life, so we make accommodations: We cut ourselves slack. We’re fast to forgive ourselves,” Jeremy E. Sherman, Ph.D., stated. “When challenged, we’re much better at making our case than our opponent’s. We spot injustices to ourselves far faster than we spot our injustices to others.” While some of us struggle to forgive ourselves, others believe they are better than everyone else and act and speak accordingly.
People who secretly feel more special than everyone else almost always complain about these 11 little things
1. They don’t feel their contributions are taken seriously
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When someone feels they are more special than everyone else, they’ll constantly complain about how the people around them aren’t taking their contributions seriously. Let’s say there’s a project at work that they have to work on with a team. They will always think their idea is superior, and they expect everyone else to feel the same. They think that their contribution needs to be the top priority.
Research has found that respect is difficult for people who believe they are better than everyone else. When someone feels overly special, they struggle to relate to those around them. Instances where they need to collaborate are difficult for them because they think their ideas are more special than everyone else involved.
2. They want more compliments
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Someone who feels more special than the average person was likely led to believe they were at an early age. This can harm their personality as they get older. Constantly being told they are special makes them expect others to treat them the same way. When their parents give them lots of compliments, they assume everyone else will follow suit. It can leave them constantly seeking validation from those around them, and when they don’t get it, they’ll complain.
“It may seem counterintuitive to parents that telling their child that they are 'special' could have serious negative consequences,” says Mary Ann Little, Ph.D., a specialist in childhood narcissism. “But such good parental intentions can result in a child’s identity being predicated on a sense of being 'better than' others. A self-concept built on being special is fragile by definition, demanding of achievement and recognition.”
3. Everything feels unfair to them
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People who secretly think they are more special than everyone else likely find themselves the constant victims of something they deem unfair. Whether they don’t get a promotion they feel they deserve, or someone else snags the last dress of their dreams in their size, life feels difficult, even over the little stuff.
Everyone wants life to be as easy as possible and for everything to go their way. It’s natural. However, those who expect the world to be handed to them the way these people do, everything is difficult. They think they deserve the world, and when they don’t get it, they will be full of complaints.
4. They need to be the center of attention
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There are moments when we all want to be at the center of attention. It could be our birthdays or a day celebrating our achievements. However, for those who secretly think they are more special than everyone else, it can be all they think about. When they notice they aren’t getting enough attention, they will definitely complain about it.
“It is a human instinct to want to be noticed, taken seriously, and loved. So in a certain way, attention-seeking behaviors come from a place that most of us can understand,” says health and parenting writer Wendy Wisner. “Moreover, attention-seeking behavior that happens frequently may be manipulative or passive-aggressive and can push people away, strain relationships, or ruin them altogether.”
5. They think others get more opportunities than they do
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Those who secretly feel more special than those around them believe every opportunity should come to them. The best jobs, entrance into the top schools, and the most fulfilling friendships should be theirs. When they find someone else obtains these feats while they do not, they will complain.
They’ll find complaints in just about anything, but especially when they see others getting what they want. Those who view themselves as special beyond belief will struggle to see others succeed. They want, more than anything, to be the best at everything. They believe the world revolves around them.
6. They find flaws in everyone else
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When someone thinks they’re more special than the average person, they notice the flaws in everyone else with ease. It’s hard to see the good in others when they only seem to see the good in themselves.
“Constantly pointing out deficiencies in others is an abusive power play that masquerades as genuine concern. But it’s actually about shifting the focus and with it the responsibility for problems in relationship systems,” says Michael Schreiner of Evolution Counseling.
“When someone is always pointing the finger it’s easy to fall under the spell and take on too much responsibility for problems so it’s useful to remember that pointing that finger serves the important purpose of going on the offensive and staying on the offensive so that no one has the chance to focus any time or attention on the deficiencies of the person behind the finger.”
7. They compare their situation to others
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Someone who secretly thinks they are more special than everyone else loves to compare themselves to those around them. This can take shape in different ways. Sometimes, it’ll show up as constant criticism of others. If this special person can find a way to keep themselves going and on top, why can’t someone else? There’s no excuse for disadvantages.
However, when they feel they are not getting the most they can out of a situation and someone else is, it’ll be extremely unfair to them. While they expect others to figure it out, they can’t handle the thought of being shorted in life. They’ll compare their situation to someone more successful and find it hard to understand how they got there.
8. They are unhappy about things they can’t change
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When you’ve been told you are more special than everyone else most of your life, it can be hard to understand why things don’t always go their way. They believe they should have every opportunity and be in control of every aspect of their lives. When they’re looking for a change in something and they can’t seem to get it, it feels impossible for them to come to terms with.
This hatred for what they can’t change can make them envious of others. They’ll have less patience with those who get what they want. It’ll damage their ego and make them act out.
9. They are upset when they can’t take charge
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People who believe they are secretly more special than everyone else want to take charge. They think their ideas are superior to others. They believe they should have leadership positions in every aspect of their lives.
However, when someone’s ego is in the way, they turn out not to be the leaders they think they are. People have a hard time taking instructions from others who are too caught up in their own need for power. It doesn’t facilitate a healthy team relationship. Though they believe they should always be in charge, when someone else is, it can get under their skin. You’ll begin to hear their complaints.
10. They are constantly annoyed
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Occasional irritation is a normal part of life. However, for those who view themselves as better than the best, everything can be an annoyance. They don’t think the complaints of others are worth hearing. It goes back to the idea that they compare their situations to everyone else.
You’ll notice people who are constantly talking about themselves and their achievements (or disappointments) will have no patience for others. They’ll think everything they complain about doesn’t matter. What really matters is how they’re feeling. Of course, they’ll be complaining about the other person complaining.
11. They believe everyone else isn't smart enough
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The confidence that people who secretly think they’re more special than everyone else have makes them believe they are smarter than those around them. However, this isn’t always the case, of course. In fact, they could be dealing with the Dunning-Kruger Effect. This is the idea that people think they are smarter than they actually are and act as such, even if there is no reason for them to.
“This tendency may occur because gaining a small amount of knowledge in an area about which one was previously ignorant can make people feel as though they’re suddenly virtual experts,” says the staff of Psychology Today. “Only after continuing to explore a topic do they realize how extensive it is and how much they still have to master.”
When someone feels special, they believe they have already mastered everything there is to learn.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
