If Someone's Ashamed Of Their Car, They'll Always Say These 11 Things Before You Get In
A messy car can often indicate a messy life.
Photoroyalty | Shutterstock With everything going on in our busy lives, the cleanliness of our car is usually the last thing on anyone's mind. Between hard days at work and endless household chores, it's easy to get caught up in the chaos and avoid doing basic maintenance. But the way a person's car looks on the inside can be a source of embarrassment, and if someone's ashamed of their car, they'll always say these things before you get in.
Of course, nobody plans to leave wrappers or empty bottles in their backseat, nor do they intentionally keep old leaves from last autumn crumbled on the floor. But as life becomes more unpredictable, sometimes spending an hour cleaning out the car isn't as easy as it once was. And it doesn't stop people from feeling guilty about their messy cars.
If someone's ashamed of their car, they'll always say these 11 things before you get in
1. 'Just a heads-up, it's a little messy in there'
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Life isn't always calm and collected. From unexpected appointments to late-night shifts, even the most organized person might find their car looking like a complete disaster. However, it doesn't mean people who are ashamed won't give advance warnings.
As dramatic as it may sound, letting people know ahead of time is the best way to prepare them. As therapist Ariadne Platero explained, "If you want your important conversations to go well, the key is to prepare for them properly... It's vital to fully understand the situation or have a preparatory conversation so that you can manage all the variables that different people bring to a discussion."
2. 'I have a system to the madness, I swear'
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While some people have busy schedules, others have a chaotic way of doing things. From leaving stacks of paper in their backseat to having a full trash bag in the passenger's seat, if someone's ashamed of their car, they'll always say, "I have a system to the madness, I swear" before you get in.
You know that junk drawer you have in your house? Well, think of their car in the same way. It might not make sense to the average person, but in their mind, this is exactly how they like to keep their car. Even if it doesn't look the best, they know where everything is and where it's supposed to go.
3. 'I've been so busy lately'
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Life isn't always smooth sailing. Whether someone is working all the time or has kids to take care of, their car isn't going to look as spotless as someone who has a ton of free time. Even if their schedule is busy, this doesn't mean they don't feel slightly ashamed of their messy car.
They want to give themselves grace, but it's hard. Nobody understands how quickly things can pile up, leading to them barely taking care of themselves.
But as a study from Translational Psychiatry found, fatigue is often associated with depression. So, even if it's difficult, these people shouldn't feel too ashamed. Those who are just as busy will understand and not give them too many problems if their car happens to be slightly disorganized.
4. 'Don't look in the back'
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When you're rushing to pick someone up, you might lazily toss everything in the backseat, hoping to deal with it later. Yet, as they approach the car and are about to get in, if someone's ashamed of their car, they'll always say, "Don't look in the back"
Backseats tend to be the messiest. From diaper bags to car seats to paperwork, this is where things are dumped only to be organized once in a blue moon. But just because it's a common thing most people do, it doesn't mean they can't feel ashamed about it, as it often indicates deeper underlying issues.
5. 'Don't judge me'
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Many people are shamed for their busy schedules Whether they have multiple kids or can barely sleep, for those who don't understand burnout or mental health struggles, they'll assume messy cars must mean laziness. However, this couldn't be further from the truth.
As registered nurse Ivory Smith Causey explained, "Indifference to hygiene tasks, including showering, brushing teeth, doing laundry or brushing hair, is a common symptom of mental health conditions." The guilt of knowing what they need to get done versus the lack of energy they have is absolutely destroying them.
6. 'Sorry, it's not usually like this'
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If someone's ashamed of their car, they'll always say "Sorry, it's not usually like this" before you get in. And they aren't joking when they utter this phrase. Maybe they're typically an organized person and life has simply gotten in the way. Regardless, their car is now a disaster, and they don't have the time to get it clean.
While people understand that life happens, that fear of judgment is always on their minds. As a result, they'll mutter apologies while trying to simultaneously explain that they aren't always a complete disaster. And the guilt of allowing someone into their messy car is eating them up alive more than they care to admit.
7. 'Let me clear off the seat real quick'
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If there's an emergency pick-up, most people don't have time to clean out their car. As a result, they may quickly jump up and offer to clean it before allowing passengers in. They aren't trying to be inconsiderate, but cleaning out the car isn't an option until the last minute. Unfortunately, this can make people uncomfortable with their choice to take a ride.
When people scramble to make space for their guests at the last minute, they may be damaging their mental health. According to licensed psychologist Sarah Rasmi, "People who push themselves for too long become exhausted, depleted, and fatigued. They often report symptoms of depression, anxiety, and burnout."
8. 'Just push that to the side'
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If someone's ashamed of their car, they'll always say "Just push that to the side" before you get in, and though it may be awkward, they're so consumed with their busy lives they forget the most basic cleaning.
Having a messy car and picking someone up in it is rude; however, things happen, and sometimes, they can't clear everything out in time. While they might feel embarrassed by this, there's nothing else they can do but ask that person to push everything to the side, leaving them to deal with their messy car for another day.
9. 'I wasn't expecting anyone to ride with me today'
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Sometimes, people aren't expecting company until the last second. From emergencies to needing a quick favor, not everyone can quickly clean up in their car in the span of a few minutes.
The last thing these people want to do is to be a bad host, but they can't control everything. Their car won't always be as organized as they want, so while it's easy to feel guilty, so long as they're doing their best to organize it slowly, that's what matters.
As a survey from OnePoll in conjunction with Meguiar's found, 68% of American drivers say they're embarrassed to have people in their car due to the filth and uncleanliness. "Just like a clean house or a tidy office space, a clean car often comes with a variety of benefits. By taking the time to maintain a clean car, people reveal their life has positively benefited as a result of their commitment to car tidiness," a spokesperson from Meguiar's concluded.
10. 'It's mostly just work stuff'
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While some people can work a regular schedule, others don't. From needing to pay bills to being short on cash and working extra hours, they're the first ones to rush in the morning and the last ones to come home at night. And while their partner and kids might get this, not everyone else is as understanding.
When someone is ashamed of the way their car interior looks, they may act like all the mess is work-related. They shouldn't have to, but they feel embarrassed. Even if they're always working, they know it's a bit rude to invite anyone into a messy environment.
11. 'I've barely had enough time to myself lately'
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Everyone's busy, whether it's their job, family life, or chaotic household. This means they may neglect self-care. But as mental health counselor Shainna Ali explained, "Neglecting personal care can cause increases in anxiety, distractibility, anger, and fatigue. You may also experience decreases in sleep, relationship satisfaction, self-esteem, empathy, and compassion."
While most know this, it doesn't stop them from neglecting themselves, including the environments in which they find themselves, meaning their car. Staying on top of things isn't easy, which is likely why they revert to old patterns of leaving their coffee cups and empty wrappers in the car, even though they know they should throw them away.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
