Men Who Don’t Respect Their Wives Often Avoid These 11 Chores At Home
A husband refusing to step up and do various chores around the house no longer respect the need for teamwork in his marriage.
Katerina Elagina / Shutterstock In a relationship, respect isn't always about saying the right things to your significant other or showing up in ways that make them feel loved and cared for. Much of the time, especially in a marriage, showing respect for your spouse means doing little things like taking care of the chores at home when the other person might be exhausted or overwhelmed.
Men who have the utmost respect for their wives make sure they step up when it comes to everyday tasks because they can't stand to see their wives feeling as if they're the ones pulling all of the weight. On the other hand, men who don't respect their wives often avoid chores at home because they don't care about how their lack of effort affects their wives. This leaves many women shouldering the burden of the physical load at home, as their husbands aren't devoted to taking some of it off their shoulders at all.
Men who don't respect their wives often avoid these 11 chores at home
1. Washing the dishes
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Doing the dishes might seem like the most trivial task in the world, but it's actually such a huge component of a partnership between a husband and wife. It's the one chore you should be doing multiple times in a single day, but men who avoid doing the dishes altogether consistently send the message to their spouses that they simply don't value the time and effort it takes to help out. A study from The Council of Contemporary Families even compared a number of household chores and found that women want to split the responsibility of doing the dishes more than any other chore.
The act of washing dishes is about showing that you're willing to share the load of keeping up with a home. It's about not wanting your partner to be subjected to the burden day after day. A husband will make sure that if his wife is cooking, he'll be the one doing the dishes and even tidying up the rest of the kitchen before going to bed. He'll load and unload the dishwasher time after time, without even having to be asked, because that's just how much he respects and values his wife, and keeping up with the responsibilities of living together and making a life for each other.
2. Doing the laundry
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A husband who refuses to do the laundry isn't just letting his wife be the one who has to sort through all of the clothes, wash and dry them, fold them, and put them away, but he's showing that he's refusing to put in the effort to at least help her with something extremely trivial. When one person has to be forced to do the laundry week after week, it feels more as if they're just the other person's personal maid than a partner. Instead, they just leave their dirty clothes to be picked up and washed for them.
According to a poll from Gallup, an estimated 56% of women are usually the ones who shoulder most of the burden when it comes to doing laundry. A man who actually respects his wife won't just wait for her to gather all of their dirty clothes, but will either do it with her or help divide the parts of the laundry so she isn't doing the entire process by herself.
3. Grocery shopping
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A husband who is devoted to his wife and never wants her to feel alone in their marriage is a man who makes sure that he's pulling his weight with grocery shopping. He won't just sit on the couch and tell his wife what he wants from the store, watching her leave, and then not even get up to help her bring the groceries inside. He'll help write the list, drive her to the store, walk up and down the aisles with her as they pick out food, and help bring in the groceries into the house before putting them away with her.
He won't just leave her to handle all of that on her own. However, a husband who doesn't respect his wife will often let her handle all the household purchases, despite her already having a lot on her plate. A Pew Research Center survey found that 80% of women say they are the household member who usually prepares the meals, and the one who is the primary grocery shopper. Being responsible for groceries all the time is exhausting, especially when your partner should also be the one to share that load.
4. Taking out the trash
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Taking out the trash really doesn't require too much effort, and yet, husbands who choose to conveniently forget to take the trash out until the can is overflowing and their wives have to step in say a lot about the lack of respect they have for them. The longer the trash sits, the worse it smells and the messier it gets, but a husband who values his wife will make sure that it's taken to the curb before she even has to say anything, let alone lift a finger to do it herself.
But a man who does the opposite is only trying to make life harder for his wife. A survey from Clear Drop, a start-up dedicated to preparing waste for recycling, even found that trash duties spark more fights than childcare, with one in two couples admitting to fighting about trash. For a man to harbor this much disrespect for his wife that he just steps back while she drags the heavy trash bag to the curb means that he might be setting up his marriage to fail eventually.
5. Scrubbing the shower
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No one enjoys cleaning the bathroom. In fact, a survey from House Digest found that from 189 respondents, 30.14% of the total votes said that scrubbing the bathroom is their most hated household chore. It takes a lot of effort, especially when it comes to scrubbing the shower. There's a lot of reaching to scrub away all of that dirt and grime that's accumulated over the last week.
It seems men who have zero respect for their wives will try to dodge the task altogether, leaving them to handle it all on their own. Despite the fact that they're using the bathroom just as much as their wives, they don't seem to think it's within their duty to help out with the one task many people absolutely despise doing. But once their wives have cleaned out the shower and made it spotless, they have no problem jumping right into it to take a nice, long shower, which only further adds fuel to the fire.
6. Vacuuming and sweeping the floors
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When men constantly avoid doing the task of vacuuming and sweeping the floors of their house, it can be incredibly frustrating for wives who are then forced to do the task on their own. They contribute to the crumbs and dirt that accumulate on the floor, but instead of taking the initiative to clean it, they'll just step over it all and act like they don't see it.
It's even worse when you realize just how little it actually takes to sweep and vacuum, so when one partner is outright refusing, the responsibility ends up falling on the shoulders of the other. This one-sided pattern will only make a wife feel as if she's constantly having to pick up after her husband, while he gets to go about his day, walking around the house as if it's being magically cleaned for him.
7. Making the bed
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Despite sharing the bed day in and day out with his wife, a husband who doesn't respect her will roll out of it and go about his day. He'll leave the making of the bed for her to do, even though it takes just a few minutes to organize all of the pillows and sheets. For all of the other responsibilities that a woman has to do throughout the day, it doesn't take much for her husband to step in and make sure the bed is made, especially if he knows she can't stand a messy and unmade bed.
It's truly the little things that matter, and while it may seem trivial to other people about there being a messy bed, it ends up saying a lot about how he values the partnership between him and his wife. All he needs to do after rolling out of bed is take a few moments to pull the sheets up and arrange the pillows. So when a husband is just outright ignoring the chore, he simply doesn't care to alleviate the load for his wife.
8. Meal planning
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Rather than sitting back and having his wife be the one who puts her time and energy into organizing and planning dinner ideas, a husband who actually respects his wife will take the lead at least a majority of the time. But a husband who feels the complete opposite about his wife will try to avoid meal planning altogether. Even though he sits at the table every night and eats the dinner she makes, he doesn't seem to want to participate in helping with the ideas.
But he'll always be asking his wife, "What are you making today?" She now has to scramble and come up with ideas and then execute them all on her own because her husband seemingly has no plans on actually pulling his weight. Planning meals with your spouse allows for time to spend together brainstorming meals that the two of you would enjoy and sharing the responsibility of feeding the family.
9. Washing the car
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When a husband is actively avoiding the task of washing the car, he's just leaving it up to his wife to tackle it on her own or for the car to just be dirty altogether. Even if he's also driving the car and using it just as much as his wife does, the fact that he's not even willing to go out there and help her out with such a demanding and tiring task says a lot about how he feels about supporting her in something so small.
It speaks volumes to the fact that a man would indirectly place more work on his wife, or have her pay on her own, to go through the carwash. Just because it may seem like such a small and insignificant chore doesn't mean it won't end up causing bigger burdens later on.
10. Childcare
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In a survey from the Pew Research Center, moms reported being more likely than dads to say being a parent is stressful and tiring all or most of the time. They're also generally more likely than fathers to say they feel judged for how they parent their children. The childcare load is often an unequal partnership in many marriages, causing women to feel as if they're being looked at and judged more harshly. While many people are able to parent without a partner, being married to someone means you expect them to pick up some of the slack, given how stressful it all can be.
Husbands who have zero respect for their wives will outright refuse. They'll sit back as their wives get the children ready for school, feed them, help with homework, take them to school, and put them to bed before doing it all over again the very next day. They won't try to step in to help alleviate some of the responsibilities that come with raising children.
11. Feeding the pets
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In the same way that a husband no longer devoted to his wife won't step in for childcare, the same can be said for taking care of their shared pets. Whether it's laying out their food twice a day, refreshing their water bowl, taking them out to be walked, or cleaning their litter, men will avoid this chore entirely when they don't feel like picking up the slack, so their wife isn't bogged down all of the time.
He's simply relying on his wife to manage all of the details, even though they adopted the pets together as a family. Many women can't help but see their husband's lack of effort with pets as a direct reflection of how invested he is in being a part of their home and life they've made together. A man who actually steps up is a man who cares about the teamwork and never wants his wife to feel like she's the only one taking care of their furry friend.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
