11 Uncomfortable Feelings That Actually Prove You're A Really Good Person Deep Down
Do you give yourself the credit you deserve for being empathetic, kind-hearted, and thoughtful?
Romanchini | Shutterstock Despite being generally perceived as thoughtful and kind in every way — spreading joy around, helping others, expressing gratitude, and being positive — there are also a number of real and uncomfortable experiences the best people face that make them who they are. Their character is about more than positivity and optimism.
Many of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down are proof of that, as not everything is easy 100% of the time. From navigating relationships, to helping people feel heard, and taking on other people's emotional burdens, there are a number of experiences that are far from innately positive that the best people deal with regularly.
Here are 11 uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down
1. Overthinking in conversations
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When you're worried about making other people feel heard and valued, while also balancing being a great active listener and ensuring you feel understood, it's not uncommon to battle with anxiety. In fact, it's often more common than we believe — to overthink in conversations and second-guess our words after the fact — especially when we want to show up as our best selves.
Many of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down can feel like "problems," but acknowledging them from a loving mindset can give you perspective. You want to make other people feel comfortable. You don't want to be misunderstood. You care about yourself and others enough to think deeply about your words and interactions.
2. Feeling awkward when given praise
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While being awkward when given praise or compliments can be a sign of insecurity, it's also common for people to experience when they're intentionally not seeking external validation. They don't want to feel like they're always phishing for praise or begging for compliments, because they want other people to feel comfortable.
If you're often uncomfortable in these situations, it could simply be a sign that you're a really good person deep down, who knows they can internally validate themselves, rather than seeking it out in attention-seeking ways from others.
3. Feeling drained from the news
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According to the American Psychological Association, "media overload" and consuming too much negative news online can take a dramatic toll on your physical and mental health. So, if you feel drained after scrolling on social media and heartbroken over reading news headlines, you're not being "dramatic" — it's one of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down.
Having empathy for people you don't know and have never met is more powerful than you can imagine. Even if it's uncomfortable to see these stories and heartbreaking to feel sadness for them, these are the feelings that truly enact change and make a difference.
Of course, take care of yourself, set limits around social media and boundaries that protect your well-being, but don't adopt shame or guilt for feeling occasionally drained.
4. Being exhausted after social interactions
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If you're hyper-present around other people and committed to helping them feel heard, chances are you're going to be drained or tired when you come home. Especially if you're surrounded by the wrong people or are an introvert yourself who needs alone time to feel recharged, it's not uncommon to battle this discomfort.
If you're only ever talking about yourself, seeking attention, and not caring about helping other people feel important in conversations, you may not be battling exhaustion after going out, but you're also likely not as empathetic of a person as those who do.
5. Disliking conflict
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If you're always hoping to make other people feel comfortable and maintain a balance within yourself, it's normal to despise conflict, especially with people you love. While conflict can be healthy for relationship wellness, according to communications expert Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, it's not always easy or comfortable to engage in.
So, if you're battling confusion over resolving concerns and actually engaging in conflict, you're not alone, and chances are it's actually a sign that you're a really good person who cares about making others feel happy and safe.
6. Second-guessing your boundaries
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Setting boundaries and reminding people of the behavior you're willing to tolerate is necessary for your mental health, according to experts from the University of California. But that doesn't mean it's always easy; in fact, having hard conversations, expressing your concerns, and setting expectations is often uncomfortable, especially for people who are overly empathetic and concerned with the well-being of their close friends, family, and peers.
If you're second-guessing boundaries and feeling self-doubt, those could be some of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down. You care enough about yourself to set boundaries, but maintaining them is a struggle when you want to ensure other people feel heard.
Of course, it's okay to shift your boundaries and make changes, as long as you're prioritizing your well-being and looking out for yourself.
7. Feeling conflicted about drifting apart from people
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We're all changing and evolving every day, shifting our personal values, perspectives, and needs, so it's not surprising that we tend to grow apart from people we once considered our closest friends, peers, or partners. It's natural, but that doesn't mean it's any less difficult to experience.
Even in toxic relationships with people who have mistreated you, it can be difficult to let them go, especially when it's you setting a boundary and making a change. However, this internal conflict is one of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down.
You see their potential and feel hope for them to change, even if it's not possible in reality, so it's natural to feel upset when things don't work out in the way you originally envisioned.
8. Feeling guilty for hurting someone
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Even if you've hurt someone's feelings by setting a boundary or saying "no" — behaviors that can promote better internal well-being and health for you — it's possible to still feel guilty. Many people who take on the emotional burdens of other people's pain and discomfort, even in response to their own actions, are empathetic — they want to make everyone feel better.
It's not a sign that you regret prioritizing yourself when you feel this guilt or anxiety, but rather a sign of your thoughtfulness toward others.
9. Crying when someone else is
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According to a study from Neuroimage: Reports, seeing someone cry can be contagious, regardless of the experience or emotions behind their tears. Especially for empathetic people, who have a knack for feeling and understanding other people's emotions alongside their own, it's not uncommon to start crying around someone who already is.
It's one of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down. You're concerned for their well-being, but you also have the capacity to feel their emotions and empathize on a deeper level.
10. Getting nervous for other people
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Many people deal with anxiety and anxious symptoms in their daily lives; in fact, this experience is largely on the rise thanks to the current state of the world and new technologies. However, it's most common for people to feel an internal sense of nervousness — going to a job interview, meeting new people, or planning their goals — rather than anxiety for others.
However, many truly thoughtful and empathetic people, who not only sense other people's energy, but wish the best for them, take on anxiety for others. They're nervous because they want their loved ones to excel and be happy.
11. Feeling sad when someone else is left out
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Fearing rejection and embarrassment is one of the common experiences that most people have struggled with at one point or another in their lives. It's this shame-driven mindset that often encourages people to avoid putting themselves at risk or going out of their comfort zone.
If you feel sad for someone experiencing this, it's not just because you know what it feels like, it's because you're overly empathetic. It's one of the uncomfortable feelings that actually prove you're a really good person deep down.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
