11 Signs You’re A Rare Soul Who Thinks For Yourself & Doesn’t Always Fit In With The Crowd
Authenticity is more rare than you might believe.
rubanolena / Shutterstock The ability to be real can be incredibly difficult for many people. True authenticity is something people are both drawn to and occasionally afraid of achieving themselves. It can be a struggle to perfect the art of leaning into being your genuine self and listening to your inner voice rather than following what everyone else is doing.
Being a rare soul who thinks for yourself and doesn’t always fit in with the crowd takes clarity, discipline, and commitment. However, people who stay true to who they know themselves to be, even when it means standing apart from those you care about most, understand that remaining genuine and authentic will always be more secure and comforting than chasing approval.
Here are 11 signs you’re a rare soul who thinks for yourself and doesn’t always fit in with the crowd
1. You feel alone in crowds
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In her book “Dying to Be Me,” author Anita Moorjani argues that finding your true self and living your authentic life can sometimes be isolating. Her own near-death experience and the months that followed coming back to her own life were a perfect example of that. She not only lost many of her friends and restructured her routine in a much more authentic way, but she also stopped tolerating behavior, people, and ideas that no longer served her.
Living as your authentic self can spark isolation in your routine quickly, but it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. You may feel lonely with old friends or in crowds of strangers, but living authentically also draws you closer to people and relationships meant to be in your life.
2. You don’t subscribe to social norms
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Rare souls that live authentically don’t follow social rules or expectations simply because they’re there. They craft their routines, behaviors, and even personal style around their own beliefs and values. Even when it’s uncomfortable, they’re more worried about feeling secure in their own identity, rather than seeking approval, praise, or validation from others.
Unlike people who follow social norms to cope with anxiety, fears of rejection, or low self-esteem, as a study published in the Current Opinion in Psychology suggests, following their own code of conduct is one of the signs of a rare soul who thinks for themselves and doesn’t always fit in with the crowd.
3. You’re comfortable changing your mind
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Changing your mind can be incredibly beneficial, whether it’s about personal expectations for yourself or an opinion you’ve shared with other people in your life, according to Dr. Jacob Towery, adjunct clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Stanford University. Being comfortable changing your mind not only improves your health and promotes a sense of resilience that allows you to tackle all of life’s obstacles, but it's also ingrained in authenticity.
When you’re in touch with your emotions, secure enough in your identity to change your mind, and in relationships that celebrate your genuineness, even if that means restructuring an opinion or asking for help, you’re living a life with your own priorities and beliefs at the center.
4. You prefer deep and meaningful conversations
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According to a study published in the Psychological Science journal, people who fill their routines with deep conversations and meaningful connections tend to live much happier and healthier lives than people who only engage in small talk and superficial relationships.
Not only is it much easier for people to find relationships, partners, and peers to engage in this kind of connection when they’re living a more authentic life, they’re also less inclined to seek out validation and praise from superficial people when they’re not battling the insecurity of trying to fit in with the crowd.
5. You’ve been told you’re ‘too much’
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Authenticity can be uncomfortable for people who center their lives around external validation and trying to fit in. If you’ve been told you’re too much, chances are you’ve come face-to-face with this kind of person, who feels equally uncomfortable and attacked by a kind of genuineness that deeply contrasts with their own.
Everyone is yearning for a sense of belonging, but for rare souls who think for themselves and don’t always fit in, they find it within their own identity, rather than in society or superficial relationships.
6. You have strong personal values
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Having a sense of personal identity is often fueled by strong values, beliefs, and experiences. If you’re constantly following trends, adopting values from other people, or seeking change by comparing yourself to unrealistic expectations, chances are you struggle with maintaining authenticity in your daily life.
You can often sense when someone is a rare soul who thinks for themselves and lives an authentic life because they don’t overlook their own needs or change themselves to fit in with the crowd. They have strong values that fuel not only their internal mindsets and routines but also their relationships, boundaries, interests, and passions.
7. You love solitude
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The difference between healthy solitude — the practice of being alone, without digital or in-person distractions — and loneliness is how willing you are to leverage this time. Authentic people fill their alone time with self-reflection, mindfulness practices, and even hobbies that add value to their lives, rather than endlessly doom-scrolling, filling time with mindless entertainment, and overbooking themselves to avoid it entirely.
It’s one of the signs you’re a rare soul who thinks for yourself and doesn’t always fit in with the crowd. You appreciate your own company, feel secure enough in yourself and your relationships to seek out alone time, and leverage it with habits and behaviors that make you feel happy, healthy, and fulfilled.
8. You have a sense of personal style
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Personal style, from your clothes to your home decor, is often developed alongside values, routines, and passions. If you’re a painter, chances are the creative flow that lives inside you also informs your personal style, along with a mix of functionality and practicality. The same is true for anyone else, at least people who live authentically, rather than trying to fit in.
If you’re more inclined to style yourself in pieces that make you feel good and invest in hygiene routines that add value to your life, rather than following a consumerist trend cycle and trying to fit in by societal standards, you’re probably more authentic and rare than you think.
9. You listen more than you speak
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Listening more than you speak and being intentional about active listening not only adds value to social interactions and relationships, but it can be fulfilling for the person committing to the practice, as well. According to a study published in the Social Neuroscience journal, it opens up opportunities to learn from others, find shared experiences, and gain perspective in ways that simply waiting to speak or trying to get the last word in do not.
If you’re more interested in crafting a safe space for people to speak and express themselves than talking about yourself or shifting attention toward your voice, chances are you’re a rare soul who thinks for themselves and lives an authentic life informed by their relationships and healthy connections.
10. You’re not afraid of not knowing
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Being comfortable and secure enough in yourself to ask for help is one of the signs you’re a rare soul who thinks for yourself and doesn’t always fit in with the crowd. According to a Stanford report, asking for help and being comfortable enough to seek advice from others not only helps you in the long run, but it also helps other people to feel more heard and valued in your presence. They feel needed when you ask for help and genuinely listen to their advice, while people battling insecurity and trying to fit toxic expectations may struggle to ask in the first place.
You’re also more likely to learn from other people and gain helpful experience when you open yourself up to seeking their experience and knowledge. If you’re less worried about fitting in and trying to be perceived as more intelligent, strong, or knowledgeable than you really are, you’re actively missing out on those opportunities.
11. You follow your inner voice
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People who struggle to listen to their inner voice or only digest negative thoughts and beliefs tend to follow the pack and popular opinion for a sense of stability in their lives. However, authentic people who have mastered the art of intuition, self-awareness, and thinking for themselves do the opposite. Their inner voice and values ring true.
Even in uncomfortable or challenging situations, you’re less likely to seek out external validation and praise because you have a strong and secure sense of self to guide you through adversity.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
