People With Big Dreams And The Nerve To Chase Them Usually Do These 8 Things Before They Feel Ready
WorldStockStudio | Shutterstock Most people don't lack dreams; they lack the nerve to move on them. Are you ready to give up on a lifelong dream because you don't know what is getting in your way? Are you blocked because you don't have the nerve to do something new, and it feels uncomfortable and intimidating? Are you blocking this dream because you fear failure? Are you scared to go back to school? Does it require you to use some of your life savings or take out a loan to make it happen? Is the bottom line that you don’t like taking risks?
Research suggests that maybe you have an overactive inner critic that is always trying to prevent you from doing anything new. Your inner critic often shows up in internal conversations. The voice is usually critical, hostile, loud, impatient, and nasty. But people with big dreams and the nerve to actually chase them don't let their inner critic win — instead, they take small, brave steps before they ever feel truly ready, which is exactly what sets them apart.
People with big dreams and the nerve to chase them usually do these 8 things before they feel ready:
1. They check if their dream still lights them up
Refresh your memory as to what inspired your vision. Imagine how living out your dream can impact your life and those around you.
- Does this dream still excite you?
- What will it feel like to live out this lifelong dream in your body, heart, and head?
- How will it impact your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues?
- What changes will friends and family see in you?
2. They consider the downside of not following through on their dreams
Dean Drobot via Shutterstock
How will it influence your physical, emotional, and mental health to give up this dream?
- Do you feel like you are giving up on yourself?
- If you no longer have this lifelong dream, what will take its place to motivate you?
- How will this impact your self-confidence?
- What can replace this dream, if anything?
At a time like this, you need to be honest with yourself. "Being honest with yourself allows you to develop the passion necessary to excel in your life," reminded leadership coach Lisa Lieberman-Wang. "Instead of steeping in jealousy over what others have, or worrying that something you love will be taken away, look at what gives you authentic joy and focus your energy there. Again, this is about planting your truth at the core of your being and growing your passions from there."
3. They quiet their mind
You have greater access to your inner wisdom when your mind is calm. You will be better able to notice if the voice in your head is coming from your true self or your inner critic. There are many ways to quiet your mind. A simple way is to find a comfortable place with your feet on the ground and be quiet. To keep your mind open and calm, you can focus on your breath or use a manta (focus words) to help you stay present.
There are many great apps available on IOS and Android that can help you to find a practice. My favorite is the meditation app Insight Timer. You can turn many activities into meditation, such as walking, dancing, singing, yoga, and Tai Chi. A quiet mind will help you clarify what you need to do.
4. They break down their dreams into steps
fizkes via Shutterstock
An excellent way to break through your intransigence is to create a plan of action, breaking down the project into small steps. When you break your life-long dream into smaller steps, the process no longer feels so onerous.
Now that you have broken the steps down into many small steps, choose the one you can make happen immediately. Be sure to select an action you know you can accomplish. The goal here is to help you build the confidence that you can make a change in your life.
Life coach Debra Smouse advised, "Be honest about what’s worked for you in the past and be especially honest about what hasn’t. You aren't going to change drastically overnight, so make sure that your goals are achievable and something that fits into your life."
5. They find people with similar dreams to support and hold them accountable
If you have been avoiding your dream for years, it will take some effort and help to get you beyond your impasse. Invite a person you trust to walk with you as you work to gain greater freedom. This person can help you to be honest with yourself, keep you on track, and give you lots of encouragement. Sometimes it can be helpful to have a professional coach to help you let go of your negative self-talk and welcome the voice of your true self as you revisit your lifelong dream.
"Whether we like it or not, all of us could benefit from time to time by accepting a hand from another human being, especially from the smiling faces of close friends and family," encouraged life coach Moira Hutchison. "When you request aid from a friend or relative, they feel emotionally closer to you. After all, if you feel comfortable enough to reach out for help, that's quite a compliment to them. Plus, when they come to your aid, you'll recognize how much they care about you."
6. They befriend their inner critic
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
You have an inner critic, and it is a second voice that will never go away. However, you can learn to notice when it is active. It can help to learn the difference between your two voices. Once you differentiate the tones and feel of each voice, you can learn to keep the negative quiet and amplify the positive.
The inner critic is the voice of the ego that wants to keep you safe by keeping you to what you already know. If you want to follow your life-long dream, one study helped explain how you will need to invite the energy of the inner critic to help you, rather than hinder you.
Sometimes it can help to have a conversation with this part of yourself and let it know how it can help you, such as encouraging you to do something new that feels uncomfortable. When you hear the critical voice in your head, find a practice such as meditation or walking to help you quiet your mind so you can be curious about the truth for you.
7. They bring their whole self to the table
How do you know when your true self is talking? Your body will feel calm, connected, and warm. Your heart will feel open and generous. Your mind will be quiet, and wisdom will come to you without effort. Take some time to be curious about what you want in life. Is the lifelong dream still essential for you?
Find a practice to help you reveal your truth. Many people find they get insights when they go walking. Find a method that works for you. The sensations of your body, the emotions and yearning of the heart, and the quiet mind will reveal to you what the next steps are for you in life. You will know if your lifelong dreams can still go ahead.
8. They apply the Enneagram to achieving their dreams
The Enneagram is a fantastic tool to help you let go of the negative inner chatter and help you focus on your inner wisdom. The Enneagram is all about learning to be present in each moment. Research explained how your Enneagram type shows where you get stuck when stressed. This provides you with a psychological-spiritual map to stay healthy.
The Enneagram can help you to get clear on how vital your life-long dream is for you today. If your lifelong dream is still important, you will find a way to make it happen. You will need to divide the process into steps and set a timeline to make it happen.
Get all the people who believe in you and know you well to challenge and support you on the journey. If you realize your life-long dream is no longer relevant, make the time to discern where you need to put your energy for the short-term and long-term.
Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
