11 Things People Say When They're Living Beyond Their Means But Don't Want You To Know
They're living in a constant state of financial worry.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Around half of Americans are currently living beyond their means, according to a study from the Federal Reserve, meaning the other 50% is relying on loans, credit cards, or their savings to afford basic necessities, purchases, and monthly bills. Especially in today's economic climate — riddled with high interest rates, student debt, stagnant wages, and rising costs — it's not surprising that so many people are struggling financially, because they're stuck in the cycle of sacrifice and spending.
Many of the things people say when they're living beyond their means but don't want you to know might be more common than you think. While some people can't help it, some of these phrases may also be signs of lacking financial literacy or responsibility. But even if you notice these small signs and phrases, give people grace and empathy when you can — the emotional links between money stress and financial anxiety are far from easy to grapple with.
Here are 11 things people say when they're living beyond their means but don't want you to know
1. 'I deserve it'
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We'll probably all use a phrase like this to justify spending money on a little treat or an experience out with our friends. However, like many financial experts agree, our "deservingness" should never dictate our spending. Just because a person deserves a $50 entree, a beautiful home, and a luxury car doesn't mean they should justify overspending on them.
Like therapist Katie Rossler suggests, a person's sense of self-worth — that motivates them to use a phrase like this — doesn't simply appear when they've had a rough day or a stressful week. So, feeding into a moment of instant gratification only further strains the struggle they're trying to cope with in the long-term, which is ironic, considering we're justifying overspending as an act of self-care and preservation.
2. 'Money comes back'
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According to a study from Charles Schwab, nearly 60% of Americans are one paycheck away from experiencing homelessness, so even though many people rely on phrases like "money always comes back" to justify their overspending, that's clearly not always the case.
When people want to live beyond their means without question, phrases like this justify and peer pressure others to overspend — arguing that no matter how many irresponsible financial decisions or purchases someone makes, it all evens out in the end.
However, it's possible to sabotage your future financial health, even by making seemingly subtle small decisions today. So don't forget to think about your future self's well-being, not just the comfort you may be seeking now.
3. 'I'd rather enjoy life now'
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While being present and mindful in your life is important for your mental health and well-being, like a study from Mindfulness argues, planning financially for the future can offer the kind of financial stability and security necessary to enjoy the habits and routines that allow you to actually live in the present moment.
Phrases like "I'd rather enjoy my life now" are excuses for overspending, putting your long-term financial health at risk for instant gratification and comfort. It's obviously okay to have a treat here and there, to go out with friends, and to invest in experiences that will serve your well-being in the long run, but passive overspending can spark money stress that sabotages your mindful nature.
That's why these are some of the things people say when they're living beyond their means, but don't want you to know. They put on the guise of living in "the present moment," when that truly means they're disregarding the later inevitable consequences.
4. 'I'll pay it off later'
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Many people are stuck in a cycle of debt — whether it's sparked by student loans, payday borrowing, or overspending — that causes them financial worry and turmoil in the long run. They may use phrases like "I'll pay it off later" to justify living beyond their means without question, but it only further deepens their financial struggle and the anxiety of debt.
The key to truly paying off debt starts with your mindset. Rather than passively opting for phrases like this and financial habits rooted in instant gratification and emotional comfort, be more intentional with every purchase you make. Is it worth later anxiety over a credit card bill to have a little treat or weekend trip today?
5. 'I work hard, so I deserve nice things'
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Many people's sense of self-worth is intertwined with their financial stability — not just in whether or not they have money, but in how they spend it and what they believe they're "deserving" of, according to a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
When a person uses a phrase like "I work hard, so I deserve nice things," what they really mean is, "I've put in enough effort to be worthy of spending outside of my means." They don't base their financial habits and spending off of their current financial state of security, but rather on the effort and work they've put in.
While it's uncomfortable and annoying to address, sometimes people who work hard and are deserving of good things still don't have the freedom to overspend on everything they want.
6. 'It's an investment'
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Many people, especially younger generations that may lack financial literacy, value experiences over long-term investments and financial stability, yet they're still using phrases like this to justify living beyond their means. Whether it's an act of expensive self-care, a vacation, or a technology purchase, they cope with their own anxiety about overspending by making their actions seem like a financially responsible decision.
Of course, it's possible to invest in your health and wellness — indulging self-care rituals — without spending a lot of money, but many people living beyond their means have deeply associated their comfort, well-being, and mental health with having material things and experiences that cost a lot of money.
7. 'We're doing better than most people'
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Comparing yourself to others is hardly ever a practice that yields positive outcomes — whether it's emotionally, mentally, socially, or even financially. Even if you don't realize it, you never truly see the full picture of someone's financial state. From influencers online to your neighbors next door, the material things and experiences you see them enjoying could very well be the same things keeping them in debt.
That's why these things people say when they're living beyond their means but don't want you to know — like "we're doing better than most people" — are so harmful, because they divert attention away from personal financial irresponsibility and instead justify poor habits and behaviors.
8. 'I spend a lot less than other people'
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As another figment of comparison culture, phrases like "I spend a lot less than other people" are intended to normalize financial irresponsibility. They're living beyond their means and making poor financial decisions, but they'd prefer to pretend like they're doing better than most people to avoid judgement and criticism.
It's not surprising that many of these phrases are more common than we believe, not just because tons of Americans are living beyond their means, but because the inevitable shame many people harbor about their finances urges them to overexplain, justify, and normalize their behaviors.
9. 'I'm going to get a raise soon, don't worry'
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According to psychologist Marwa Azab, people who live beyond their means and make purchases that they can't afford are setting themselves up for long-term insecurity and anxiety. Even after they do get a raise or a bonus — if that's not a guise in itself — they'll be stuck back where they are now, trying to pay off debt and get back on their feet from overspending.
That's why this is one of the things people say when they're living beyond their means but don't want anyone to know. They're justifying overspending because "money will come" or "they deserve it," even though they're sabotaging their well-being long-term.
10. 'It's not a big deal'
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By minimizing other people's concerns about their financial state and normalizing overspending in their daily life, people who use phrases like this one protect themselves from feeling shame or embarrassment.
They'd prefer to misguidedly cope with their internal discomfort and grasp at a sense of control over their lives by spending without reservation, like a study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology suggests, even if it sets them up for failure later on.
"It's not a big deal" is one of the things people living beyond their means say, even if they know it actually is, because they'd prefer to deal with the anxiety and stress of money on their own terms and be perceived as better off by others in public.
11. 'We're investing in a lifestyle'
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From buying name-brand items, to overspending on clothes, and buying status symbols, many people live outside of their means without even realizing it — trying to fit in and seek a sense of belonging by following trends and buying things they can't afford.
A phrase like "we're investing in a lifestyle" isn't just an attempt at normalizing overspending and financial irresponsibility, it's a clear sign that someone is yearning for a community or to be admired in ways they can't provoke themselves. At the end of the day, like many other poor financial decisions and habits, it's a misguided coping mechanism for discomfort and complex emotions.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
