11 Real Reasons Frugal People Feel Anxious During Group Dinners
Saving money and following a budget isn't always easy.
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock Many people experience financial anxiety and worry about their money on a daily basis, sometimes to the point that it negatively affects their mental, emotional, and physical health. According to a study from the Journal of Family and Economic Issues, it's often lower-income households who are trying to save money and afford basic necessities that bear the biggest burdens from their money stressors, even if it's at dinner with friends or budgeting out money for the month.
Most of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners is because they're already dealing with financial anxiety. Whether it's being on a strict budget, underestimating the price of a check, or facing unexpected emergency costs, frugal people may be forced to live their lives in a way that's occasionally anxiety-inducing for them and uncomfortable for others.
Here are 11 real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners
1. They don't want to evenly split the bill
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock
If a frugal person goes out to dinner with five of their closest friends, chances are they're going to end up paying more if the group splits the check evenly, rather than divvying up individual plates and drinks.
For example, a frugal person may make the decision to budget out money to go out and make memories with friends, but their conscious decision not to get a drink or to order the cheapest entree is a shield.
If they're forced to split the bill evenly, they end up overspending on choices they didn't make, and often being forced to tip more on the percentage of a larger bill.
2. They fear being judged
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock
Even though they're willing to seem weird to other people to save money, frugal people are still human and occasionally fear being judged or criticized by the people around them. Of course, at the end of the day, the people who are choosing to judge someone — frugal or not — are really just revealing their own insecurities.
Like a study from Personality and Individual Differences explains, people who judge others are sabotaging their own internal well-being. So, even if you're feeling judged for making a decision or setting a financial boundary during a group dinner, you're still embodying a kind of self-esteem and confidence that people who judge lack themselves.
3. They're pressured to overspend
La Famiglia | Shutterstock
According to a survey conducted by MERGE, many people are "social spenders," meaning they find ways to exceed their budgets or overspend impulsively when they're surrounded by other people or at a social event.
Especially for younger people, largely yearning for community and belonging, it's not surprising that they'll quickly overlook their frugality for the sake of "fitting in," but this impulsive spending can be prevalent across age demographics.
It's one of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners, because they know that the allure of overspending on drinks or being peer pressured into spending more money by their social circle is prevalent — and occasionally hard to ignore.
4. They worry about tipping culture
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock
Whether it's worrying about other people not tipping well or being unsure of what to tip themselves on a bill, tipping culture can be one of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners.
According to a study from Pew Research Center, it's not just frugal people who are confused by the ever-evolving landscape of tipping service workers — it's everyone. Yet, for frugal people who are often more rigid in their spending habits and intentional about their planning, the "not knowing" can feel overwhelming.
5. They overthink their choices
Dusan Petkovic | Shutterstock
When they should be enjoying themselves, their company, and the experience of being out, frugal people tend to fall into a spiral of overthinking their choices. They're not only overanalyzing the cost trying to find the cheapest meal — they're weighing nutrition, portion sizes, and deals, while also interacting with their friends and family.
They want to get the most bang for their buck, but oftentimes that is at the expense of a present experience with the people around them.
6. They compare themselves to others
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
Comparison culture affects and disrupts so many different aspects of our lives, from personal relationships, to financial status, and even physical appearance. Whether it's online, in-person, or at a group dinner with friends, it's not uncommon for people to compare themselves to others, wondering how other people can do the things, spend the money, and maintain the relationships that they can't.
Frugal people tend to do the same. Even if they know cutting back, making sacrifices, and being intentional is their key to saving money, they can't help but compare themselves to friends and family spending on expensive meals or offering to pick up the tab without a second thought.
7. They fear being excluded
SynthEx | Shutterstock
According to a study from Perspectives on Psychological Science, loneliness and social isolation are incredibly harmful to physical and mental health — in some cases, even more so than a bad vice or obesity. It's not a comfortable feeling or experience to be excluded from social events and relationships, which is why frugal people may struggle saying "no" to invitations.
They fear being excluded — it's one of the real reasons why frugal people feel anxious during group dinners — so they go out of their way to sometimes overspend and say "yes" to plans to avoid being ostracized.
8. They regret their purchases
frantic00 | Shutterstock
Nearly 50% of people regularly feel some kind of regret about their purchases — influenced by friends, internal emotions, or unhealthy coping mechanisms to overspend on things and experiences they don't need.
For frugal people, who set expectations for their spending and often follow budgets, it's more of a dilemma to overspend, but they're still human and have slip-ups. Regretting their purchases is one of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners — either because they know they're already spending too much, or they're being pressured into overspending by their peers.
9. They feel pressure to follow social norms
Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock
Whether it's picking up the bill to treat a friend or ordering a drink after another person does, following social norms — even if it costs more — is one of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners. Many people trying to save money don't want to make other people feel excluded, embarrassed, or uncomfortable, so they say "yes," even if it means having to re-budget themselves after a dinner.
Of course, like a study from Credit Karma suggests, it's okay to set boundaries, especially if your friends are pressuring you to overspend and sabotage your financial stability for the sake of their own comfort and fun. It's not uncommon for people to drift away from or end friendships that don't serve them, so don't be afraid to say "no" more often.
10. They hate hidden fees
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
Hidden fees are one of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners, because they're unexpected and sometimes more expensive than they've budgeted for.
Even just worrying about a card not working or a cash-only restaurant can add to the stress frugal people experience, because they tend to plan out and budget even small and unexpected expenses.
11. They don't want to seem difficult
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
From discussing how they're going to split the check, to choosing a restaurant, and even setting financial boundaries with the people they're out with, not wanting to seem difficult is one of the real reasons frugal people feel anxious during group dinners.
They may even prefer to go out on their own, where they don't feel social pressures to spend or anxiety about intentionally crafting their night, or be around people who don't make them feel difficult or judged for saving money.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
