After 20 Years As A Relationship Coach, Here Are The 10 Best Ways To Flirt Via Text

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Man and woman texting each other

Knowing how to flirt successfully over text is as simple as understanding what to do and what not to do while knowing what they typically prefer to read.

Notably, not only did one survey of over 2000 children between the ages of 6 and 17 reveal that only 52% of boys (as opposed to 72% of girls) say they like reading books over the summer, but further studies show the trend continues into adulthood.

Texting isn't only about writing. It's also about reading, which means you probably can’t expect most people you date to read and respond to text messages the same way you do.

Since texting is essential to communication, a simple guide on what to do and not do in text messages can make all the difference when it comes to flirting successfully.

RELATED: 11 Essential Ground Rules For Flirting With Guys Over Text

Here's what to do & not do when you flirt by text:

1. Do: Be direct

This is by far the most important distinction to consider when it comes to understanding the differences between how people text. Sending lengthy texts will often confuse and frustrate them.

They might text you about making plans to spend time together, but they may also consider spending time with their friends. Responding with a yes or no and specifying a time lets them know they need to send you a direct reply.

2. Don’t: Read anything into the time they take between responses

In other words, if it takes them a little more time than you'd like to respond, don’t assume it means they're not interested.

They may be busy, or they may be multitasking.



3. Do: Send texts that are light and fun

This type of text is excellent as a conversation starter. Intriguing bits of information about yourself may help them open up to you.

Of course, that part will probably happen when you meet up in person rather than over text, so be patient.

4. Don’t: Exaggerate or fake your persona

You want them to know who you are rather than trying to present yourself as the woman you think they want you to be.

Exaggerating or faking personality traits that aren't authentic to you will only lead to disappointment for you both.

RELATED: 16 Flirty Texts That Will Keep You On His Mind 24/7

5. Do: Send texts inviting them to do things based on what you know of their interests

If you want to guarantee you get an opportunity to see them in person, send them a text inviting them to an activity you know they enjoy.

More likely than not, they will appreciate your honesty and interest in them and respond positively.

happy woman receives a text message

Photo: Primorac91 via Shutterstock

6. Don’t: Send texts changing your mind or complaining about that activity

If texting them about that activity was a ruse to get them to hang out with you, it won’t sit well when they realize you don't want to participate.

There are few things worse when you're first dating someone than agreeing to do something and either canceling, being disinterested, or complaining when the date arrives.

Doing any of those things will lead them to question your sincerity and worry that a potential relationship with you will always have to go according to your terms.

7. Do: Master the art of sending flirty texts

Since you can’t necessarily read the tone in a text, sending overtly flirtatious texts can help keep a person interested.

Mixing in a dash of chemistry, innuendo, and fun is bound to keep them on their toes.



8. Don’t: Send lengthy texts, even if they're just meant to be flirtatious

Remember, they might not like to read, so keep it short.

Also, be sure to leave something to the imagination.

RELATED: How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text (And Get Him To Ask You Out)

9. Do: Text openly and honestly when it comes to matters of the heart

A text like this will make them feel special.

They will know the relationship is going in the right direction.

10. Don’t: Text your vulnerability too soon

Not only should you be sure not to text these feelings until you know you mean it, but you should also wait until you feel confident they are ready to receive the message.

Text them your feelings only after you've followed the tips above and they've successfully led to meaningful face-to-face interactions.

Remind yourself that people are likely to be different than you when it comes to the way they send and respond to text messages, it will make your relationship and communication with them more enjoyable.

RELATED: What Guys Wish Women Already Knew About How To Text

Keith Dent is a writer, blogger, and certified empowerment coach. He is the author of In the Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love.