Wives Who Don't Love Their Lives Anymore Do These 11 Things At Home
They're yearning for a sense of misguided control.
PeopleImages | Shutterstock If someone doesn’t “love their life” anymore, there’s usually no single reason or event to explain how they’re feeling. It’s a culmination of things, from chronic stress to a struggling relationship, a poor sense of self-worth, or even a major life shift that’s throwing everything out of balance. There are a million reasons why someone may be unhappy and unfulfilled in life.
How they “cope” is another part of the story — something that could actually be exacerbating their issues and further pushing them into an unhappy, isolated routine. From avoiding phone calls from friends to suppressing their own concerns, wives who don’t love their lives anymore do these things at home, sabotaging their opportunities to heal and move forward.
Wives who don’t love their lives anymore do these 11 things at home
1. They’re always on their phones
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According to a Sage Open study, many people use their phones to “escape” stress, discomfort, and responsibility in their everyday lives. For unhappy wives at home, mindlessly scrolling on their phones can often provide a misguided buffer for the confrontation, conflict, and connection they’re actively avoiding.
Even if their phone is just in the room or always in their hands, it can still negatively affect the quality of their conversations and the attention they have available to support others. It’s a means of escapism for wives who don’t love their lives anymore, but also a subtle, yet destructive, inanimate object that hurts their relationships.
2. They’re constantly cleaning
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Cleaning at home can also be an escapist behavior for wives who aren’t happy. They use it to avoid the confrontations they despise and the quality time they find unfulfilling, but it also offers a means of grasping at control.
If everything else in their lives feels anxiety-inducing and chaotic, they may rely on a constant cleaning routine to soothe their own internal distress and internal dysregulation. Wives who don’t love their lives anymore do these things at home constantly, even when their partner is in the next room or they have a million other responsibilities piling up.
3. They prioritize being alone
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Whether it’s spending more time at the office than they typically do, eating meals in a different room, or shifting their sleep schedule to avoid quality time with someone at home, wives who don’t love their lives anymore won’t make time for the people and things that used to bring them joy.
They’re essentially living on autopilot, trying to desperately seek control and stability, even if everything in life feels out of control.
4. They consume a ton of self-help content
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Wives who don’t love their lives anymore may consume a ton of self-help content at home, trying to get their spark back and shift their lives. Sometimes, this is a daily habit for a happy woman in their routine, but for others, it’s a last-ditch effort to change the way they’ve been living.
They listen to all the podcasts, read all the books, and even rely on their happy, regulated friends for advice and support at home on bad days. They’re always grasping at “quick fixes,” trying to pull themselves out of a cycle of isolation and chaos.
5. They ignore calls and texts
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Even if it offers unhappy and unfulfilled wives a bit of momentary comfort, avoidance coping mechanisms only spark more long-term depressive symptoms and stress, according to a study from the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. It’s simply emotional suppression disguised as “busyness,” where wives who don’t love their lives anymore avoid things that force them to express their concerns and address their needs.
Something as simple as answering a call or responding to texts can be a strategy for avoidance. They isolate themselves, whether they’re consciously aware of it or not, so they can find misguided ways to push down their discomfort and intense emotions.
6. They are irrationally irritable all the time
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Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis argues that there are many reasons why someone may seem irritable all the time, from physical pain to mental health conditions. For wives who don’t love their lives anymore, it may be due to stress — the stress of not knowing, being unsupported, or feeling disconnected from their authentic, personal sense of self.
They’re irritated at their partners for little things and are always in a bad mood, not because it’s a conscious choice, but because they feel hopeless and uncertain.
7. They stop engaging in their passions and hobbies
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Things that used to bring excitement and fulfillment are now things unhappy wives avoid at home. They’ve stopped carving out time for themselves and engaging in these little hobbies because they’re struggling to cope with all the other internal turmoil they’re experiencing.
According to a study from Psychiatric Research Communications, this could be due to struggles with executive functioning and motivation that often occur in people dealing with depression. They hardly have the energy to get out of bed, let alone make time to craft, indulge in a hobby, or interact with friends that typically bring them joy.
8. They always say ‘I’m fine’
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Whether it’s due to a lack of emotional regulation skills or a disconnect from their partners at home, wives who don’t love their lives anymore may use “I’m fine” to avoid delving deeper into their internal turmoil.
They’d prefer to suppress their emotions, even at the expense of their well-being and relationships, to grasp at a misguided sense of control in their routines. Of course they’re unhappy — they spend every day hiding the emotions and concerns that only heal when they’re addressed and communicated openly.
9. They stop making plans
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Even if canceling plans and isolating yourself at home starts in subtle ways, it can often spark a myriad of issues that only keep wives who don’t love their lives stuck in a cycle of loneliness and unhappiness.
From reducing sleep quality to harming relationship satisfaction, and even attacking personal self-esteem, social isolation isn’t just about healthily prioritizing alone time — it’s self-destructive. So, even if you’re unhappy or not feeling like yourself, rely on the people you love — lean on friends, talk to your partner, and create space for meaningful conversations, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
10. They micromanage the people around them
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Wives who don’t love their lives anymore, feel irritable all the time, and feel “out of control” in their own lives may micromanage others to soothe themselves in fleeting moments. Whether it’s micromanaging their partners’ behavior or being constantly demanding around their kids, it’s often a sign that they’re unhappy or unregulated.
While this behavior can sometimes stem from a caregiving attitude, it’s more than likely a desperate ploy for attention and control.
11. They have a million vices
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From coffee to get through the morning to scrolling on their phone when they get home, and even overeating for a sense of comfort, wives who don’t love their lives anymore do these things at home.
They’re overly reliant on their vices for a sense of comfort and escapism, even if it only isolates them further from the regulated, happy, and fulfilling life they’re yearning for.
Instead of addressing the discomfort of their suppressed emotions or communicating openly with the people in their lives, they isolate with the comfort of their vices to stay “in control.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
