10 Ways To Get The Guy (Even If You're Reallllly Shy)

You don't have to say a word and he'll be hooked.

shy woman flirting with man GaudiLab / Shutterstock

As a self-professed former shy girl, I can tell you that meeting men can be a downright brutal process. You are simply not comfortable going up to men and asking them out on a date.

Going out to socials is fun for everyone else but you. You would much rather be home cuddling with your sweetheart, curled up with a box of popcorn watching Joey on an episode of Friends. Life just can't get any better.


Dating for the shy woman seems impossible, but here are 10 ways to get noticed and snag that guy.

1. Be confident in yourself.

This may sound like a contradiction, but you need to be confident in who you are and self-assured that you will get what you need in life. It helps you to honor your boundaries and set firm standards of what you will and will not tolerate from men. Interestingly enough, men love confident women and generally rank them high on their list of desired traits in a woman.


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2. Dress to impress.

It's been said that women dress to appease other women. But when you're single, attracting men should be a priority. There are plenty of nice outfits for both day and night that would be perfect for the office and that late evening happy hour as well.

You may want to check to see if there is a consultant in one of your favorite stores. Let her know the desired effect you want out of your look and she may be able to help you. You may also want to hire an image consultant.

3. Have a flirty, optimistic attitude.

Men are attracted to women which can make them feel good. If you nag or complain a lot, then he'll begin to imagine this is what it will be like when the two of you are married and run away quickly. If you seem to always have a positive outlook on life, you'll be a keeper, as he'll imagine great times with you in the future. Having a positive attitude is worth more than its weight in gold in getting noticed by men. 


4. Show charm and grace.

These are traits that really stand out in a woman because they're not taught in schools or homes anymore. There are some men that love to have a beautiful woman in their arms who is also well versed in proper etiquette. He'll always think of you when he is invited to upscale events.

RELATED: How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You

5. Wear unique accessories.

You want to stand out in the crowd, right? Well, this is a fun way to do it. Wear something unique like a vintage hat or an odd piece of jewelry as they could be great conversation starters. I love hats and jewelry. As a matter of fact, when I'm out on a scorching hot day, I make sure to put on a pretty hat and I always catch a guy looking my way.

6. Grow out your hair.

I know my feminist sisters will get on me for this one. Unless you look like Halle Berry or any of those women who could attract a man even if they had a bag on their heads, guys love it when you have long, luscious locks.


In my own personal life and that of my family and friends, I've found that men prefer women with long or medium-length hair. Not to mention, it's super flirty!

7. Wear sexy heels.

Heels make you have good posture because it forces you to have your back straight and shoulders back. It also makes your legs and your figure look incredible. (Maybe that's why we girls bust our butts to buy those stilettos?)

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8. Take pride in your femininity.

Men fall head over heels for women who know how to use their feminine wiles. Again, showing confidence in yourself as a woman is a turn-on to most men.

9. Proudly share interesting hobbies.

These should be hobbies that you enjoy doing in your spare time. It could be a sport such as tennis or golf. You could also add volunteering as a favorite hobby. Having a hobby will give you great talking points when you are out on a date or at an important event and you need to make "small talk."


10. Most importantly, be yourself.

Out of all the other ways to get noticed, this is the crucial one. Nothing else will work unless you're comfortable in your own skin. The other ways mentioned above are improvements to who you are and are meant to help you to attract men. But first and foremost, you need to be yourself.

If you can’t be yourself, he'll notice it immediately. If you like to laugh, share a little of your humor. If you like to be adventurous, share some of your activities. If you like to be a tomboy, share some of that too!

Being shy is no reason to have to be alone. As you can see, there are many ways for a shy girl to get noticed by men. Just believe in yourself, consider adding a few enhancements to your look and watch the magic happen. Who knows? You may be looking at attracting one guy into your life and getting the attention of several others.


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Monique Boyd offers a variety of services including date/relationship coaching, professional matchmaking, image consulting, and personal training services.