If You Want Your Relationship With The Woman You Love To Last Forever, Start Doing These 15 Things
If you want forever with her, these actions matter more than you think.
Taylor Friekhl | Unsplash Knowing how to make your relationship last forever becomes easier when you first understand some basic facts about love. Decades ago, Cornell University professor, psychologist, and psychometrician Robert J. Sternberg developed a concept called the triangular theory of love. The triangular theory of love is based on the idea that love is comprised of three basic components:
- Intimacy: "feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness experienced in loving relationships:
- Passion: "drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and intimacy"
- Commitment: "In the short term, the decision that one loves another, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love."
When you’re in a marriage or relationship long enough — and when I mean long, I mean any length of time past the honeymoon phase — trying to maintain a healthy balance of these three facets can be challenging.
Men, I know we often feel that taking her on a spare-no-expenses vacation or purchasing an extravagant gift is the best way to maintain peace within our relationship or marriage. But in reality, if you create a habit of doing little things for her, those simple gestures will do more to keep your love alive than any one-time fancy trip or present ever will.
If you want your relationship with the woman you love to last forever, start doing these 15 things:
1. Give your love notes some pop
The great thing about a love note is that it takes some thought. You can make it extra fun by secretly putting it in a place where you know she will look, but won't be expecting it.
To give your love note a little extra kick, look up some romantic lines. As far as greeting cards go, they're on the expensive side, but they're a game-changer.
2. Steal a kiss
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The dictionary definition of stealing a kiss is "kissing someone quickly and suddenly." What can be more romantic than that?
It lets the woman in your life know that she's desirable to you, no matter what she's doing.
3. Compliment her
When your wife or girlfriend is looking in the mirror, she wants her outer appearance to match (or be better than) her inner beliefs.
Complimenting her at that very moment can enhance or even boost her own feelings of confidence and self-love, in turn boosting her feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment toward you.
4. Do something around the house you don't usually do
Taking time to do a little more housework lets her know that a balanced life is important to you. Make sure she can take time for herself by picking up some extra slack.
This gesture of care demonstrates attentiveness, commitment, and love, contributing to lasting satisfaction. One study explained that engaging in new activities together that are outside the routine fosters personal and relational growth, which is an important factor in sustained happiness.
5. Make a decision
Women like being included in the decision-making process, but does she really need to make all of the decisions for both of you?
Being decisive can be very romantic, as it shows a woman you know what she needs and you are willing to take care of making things happen.
6. Show up
Being flexible and showing up for her when she needs you will let her know she is your highest priority.
By showing up, you are providing unconditional attention and support, making your partner feel seen, appreciated, and connected, especially during significant moments. A 2017 study explained that this proactive expression of love and care counters relationship staleness and boredom, contributing to greater joy and stronger bonds.
7. Put your phone down
You know how you feel when she makes it her mission to please you? Women need the same thing.
When you are communicating with your wife, make it a no-phubbing zone. Take that time to be in the present with her and leave the electronic devices elsewhere.
8. Prepare a hot bath for her
This can help reduce the daily stressors our work life can give her. Don’t forget the bath salts, oils, and wine.
Preparing a bath is an 'act of service,' one of the five love languages developed by Dr. Gary Chapman. Research shows that couples who incorporate acts of service into their relationship report higher levels of satisfaction and connection.
9. Validate her
Telling your wife she’s right is less about giving in and more about validation. Acknowledging her words helps her feel heard and understood.
Research has concluded that this validation signifies active listening, care, and a willingness to acknowledge the partner's perspective, which helps to reinforce the relationship's foundation and emotional connection, making it more resilient over time. Acknowledging their valid points, even if you initially disagreed, helps build a stronger foundation of trust and mutual admiration, which are essential for lasting relationships.
10. Look at the stars together
Things like this help put things in perspective. How great it is to look at such a vast universe and reflect together on the small part you two play in it?
This activity often creates a sense of shared awe and encourages novelty, both of which are proven to increase bonding and relationship satisfaction. Research shows that when couples try new things together, it recreates the same rush they felt during the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
11. Tell her why you love her
It's rewarding not only for you but for your wife as well, when you can clearly express why you love and chose her. This lets her know your feelings are sincere.
This practice encourages partners to notice and articulate specific qualities that make their partner unique, which counteract the natural tendency for longer-term relationships to focus on negative details. Research by the Gottman Institute explained that by articulating specific reasons for love, couples reinforce positive sentiments, build a stronger emotional bond, and increase relationship stability and longevity.
12. Touch her
According to Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., touch plays a crucial role in generating and enhancing love. People feel more satisfied in relationships when physical affection is a significant part of the relationship.
Touch is the first language we learn as infants to feel safe and cared for. In adulthood, a partner's touch continues to communicate comfort, safety, and security. Research shows that engaging in affectionate touch, like holding hands, can help couples feel calmer and behave more constructively during moments of conflict.
13. Find a show to watch together
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Since laughter is a supportive activity, the more you can laugh together, the closer you will feel.
Studies show that partners who have shared experiences are closer. Whether watching a comedy or another show, the experience builds a common bond and inside jokes.
14. Say 'I love you' more creatively
It's an interesting way to show your love in this new world of texts and emojis.
You could put the words in a painting, or better yet, put a love note in a bottle. Creativity keeps passion alive.
15. Be there for her
Let her know she can always depend on you without worrying about it. Tell her explicitly that you will stand by her when she needs support, ready to be a great teammate.
Then make sure you hold yourself to it. If you're in a marriage or relationship long enough, you can forget that simple gestures keep love alive.
Putting some of these easy, extra romantic ideas into practice more often will ensure she knows she is cared for, cherished, and a priority in your life.
Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach and author of In The Paint: How to Win the Game of Love.
