8 Unromantic Signs You Love Each Other From The Depths Of Your Souls
Real love is messy and complicated, but completely worth it.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock You've heard it a million times: true love doesn't look like the movies. While that's a great thing, sometimes it's hard to see that the little idiosyncrasies in our relationships are very real signs of magical, lifelong love. In fact, there are unromantic signs you love each other from the depths of your souls, many of which are often overlooked.
Love isn't sunshine and rainbows all the time, but those little things that make each partner feel adored, heard and respected make all the difference. So, pay close attention, because you may have stumbled upon something special.
Here are 8 unromantic signs you love each other from the depths of your souls
1. You can be entirely yourselves around each other
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Being yourself around your partner doesn't just mean being silly; rather, it's about being comfortable being your true, human self in front of someone else. There's no need to hide behind falsehoods or fake personalities, as there's no fear of judgment present.
The comfort of being with someone you love without that person rejecting or judging you is directly proportional to how real you're being in the relationship. As experts from Berkeley ExecEd explained, "Authentic people are better able to build deeper, more rewarding relationships because they are built on truth and allow for each person to express their genuine selves."
2. You accompany each other during unpleasant stuff
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Anybody can show up for the magical moments, but one of the unromantic signs you love each other from the depths of your souls means being there for each other in bad times. It means you have someone who will hold your hand during the stuff neither of you wants to do.
The difference between a partner saying "I'm here for you" and physically being there for you is tremendous. Whether it's attending the funeral of an estranged relative, getting a scary medical procedure, or even something like a company party with co-workers you don't like, a partner who loves you will join you for moral support when you ask, without trying to weasel out of it.
3. You can argue constructively
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There's this awful belief that "loving couples fight" that needs to stop being repeated. Every couple disagrees, but a "fight" is way different than an "argument," as one is destructive and the other doesn't have to be.
A loving couple can express their individual views in a conflict and listen to what the other person has to say without undermining the issue at hand, hurling insults, or tearing apart the relationship. Even if tempers flare or feelings get hurt, a healthy argument maintains mutual respect while working toward a solution. That's what love looks like.
As psychotherapist Lissy Abrahams revealed, "Conflicts are unavoidable when two individuals, with their unique thoughts and opinions, come together in a relationship... However, the number or frequency of arguments isn't as important as how they're handled. When faced constructively, disagreements can turn into key impactful moments that actually lead to better understanding and growth for both partners."
4. You love them even when it's not exciting
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The problem with a relationship starting very passionately is that, when that fire inevitably fizzles or dips out for a bit, we start to wonder if we've fallen out of love. But the brand of love that is meant for a lifetime is the kind that endures mundane day-to-day interaction. And that kind of connection is another of the unromantic signs you love each other from the depths of your souls.
Because a relationship that's exciting isn't necessarily fulfilling. When there's a real, deep connection that isn't based on a spark or intensity, it leaves room for couples to form a bond that's authentic and lasting. The person who is "love of your life" material is still excited by you, loyal to you, and in love with you amid boring, daily life stuff.
5. Sharing a space seems natural
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This isn't to say you have to move in immediately if you know they're the right person for you, but seeing how you share a space says a lot about your dynamic as a couple. In fact, living together also comes with many benefits, including boosting mental well-being and physical health.
If you've been dating for a year, but he still gets weird about you touching his stuff or staying too long, that's a red flag that this might not be long-term. However, feeling at home at your partner's place without feeling compelled to change or "fix" everything says a lot about your relationship and your potential to build a home together.
6. You enjoy taking care of each other
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Too often, acts of care within a relationship are used as currency to be repaid or as leverage to get something from the other. Only when caring for each other becomes second nature is it one of the unromantic signs you love each other from the depths of your souls.
If your partner makes you dinner, helps you clean, or tends to an illness of yours without expecting something in return, it's a really good indicator. Because if it's love, you won't have to be reminded to do the same for them.
7. You aren't threatened by each other's successes
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When couples don't celebrate each other's strengths and victories, and are threatened by them excelling in their career or other endeavors, it's pitiful. It means one partner is too wrapped up in their insecurities to be happy for the person they're claiming to love.
For men, especially, they tend to suffer from low self-esteem and feel poorly about themselves when their female partners succeed. But if you're with the right person, they won't waste a second feeling bad about themselves when you have reason to celebrate. A good partner knows that a win for you is a win for the relationship, and someone who truly loves you won't hesitate to let you shine.
8. You don't enable each other
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Everyone brings a little bit of baggage to the table in a relationship, but the difference between a love that lasts and one that doesn't is how you both work with that baggage. Loving someone means checking them on their destructive habits and setting down boundaries so you both can thrive.
Someone who loves you will check you on your self-defeating behaviors and stand by you when you need to work through your issues. This type of intimacy and closeness is what real love is about.
Liz Pardue-Schultz is a writer and mental health advocate who writes about relationships and wellness. Her work has appeared in Huffington Post, Time, Ravishly, and Thought Catalog, among others.
