9 Signs You've Found A Genuine Soul Connection That's Meant To Last Your Whole Life, According To Psychology
The right partner makes the entire journey of life a lot less rocky.
Samuel Borges Photography | Canva Life is short, or so the saying goes. It's true, though: Life can indeed feel short if you’re happy, healthy, pursuing your passions, and partnered with the right person. But if you happen to be in an unhappy relationship, or simply with the wrong person, life can feel quite long.
With a genuine soul connection by your side, you can work through life’s inevitable obstacles and storms. With an unsupportive or incompatible partner, these obstacles can seem insurmountable. Do you think you’ve found the person you're meant to be with? Here's how to check to make sure you’re right.
9 signs you've found a genuine soul connection that's meant to last, according to psychology:
1. You trust each other completely
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Trust is the most important thing to consider when deciding if you have found the right partner. If you don’t trust each other completely, you might as well walk away right now. Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) explained how trust can be influenced by your past, through attachment, but is also an interpersonal dynamic between two people when forming a new relationship.
It will never get easier than it is at the beginning of a relationship. You should both be honest with each other because you have mutual respect. If you find yourself worrying when they go out with their friends or calling to ask where they are, there is no trust there.
2. You have compatible lifestyles
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Are you a vegan and your partner is a meat-eater, or vice versa? Do you love to hike every Sunday, and your partner would rather stay in to watch movies? While neither of these lifestyles is inherently better than the other, having vastly different ideas of how to live your lives will ultimately spell trouble.
This isn’t really a matter of learning how to split your Saturdays. This is a matter of core beliefs and values that are not aligned. You’ll be much better off choosing a partner who shares your lifestyle.
3. You learn from each other
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Life is a massive journey, and that journey is a lot more interesting and enjoyable if you share it with someone who can teach you new things. You don’t need to be with a professor for your partner to open your eyes to new ways of thinking or to teach you how to cook a killer cheesecake.
Couples who learn from one another have more to talk about and a more diverse life. Learning from each other is also learning about each other. Research from Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences showed how relationship satisfaction is mostly dependent on "behavioral responses during interactions, willingness to make sacrifices, or preferences regarding closeness and dependence."
4. You have similar outlooks on money
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They say your economic and religious backgrounds are the two most important contributors to compatibility. If you are a saver and your partner is a spender (or vice versa), it’s not necessarily a deal breaker. In fact, it may be better to have two different views of money than to have two crazy spenders or two penny-pinchers, but you shouldn’t be on opposite sides of the spectrum.
Make sure you can talk openly about money in a respectful way, and you can work together to save for the important things in life. Beware of you or your partner basing their self-esteem on financial success, as a 2021 study cautioned that this may set up the relationship for more conflicts around money.
5. You laugh together
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You don’t need to find a comedian, but a sense of humor can go a long way toward a happy relationship. If you’re with the right person, they will be able to cheer you up when you’re having a crappy day, and they’ll be able to let the little things go.
Couples who have been married for decades frequently cite a sense of humor as the secret ingredient to a happy marriage. A study in Current Psychology suggested that valuing your partner, using humor, and receptive listening are the most important predictors of relationship satisfaction
6. You want the same things
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Have you discussed your long-term goals? When you are with the right person, your goals will align. At the beginning, you will both lean into the other to create a shared vision for your future.
If you have some variations in your vision, that’s OK. But if one of you is unwilling to bend on your dreams to compromise for the other, then that’s a problem. APA research explained that people will choose a partner with similar life goals at the beginning of their relationship. However, as the couple gets better acquainted with each other, they will grow closer through shared motives and desires.
7. Your love feels easy
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So often, you hear songs or watch movies that glamorize the rocky beginning of a relationship. Maybe it’s filled with drama and passion. It can be tempting to view this drama as a sign you’re just so in love. But really, it’s a sign you should probably walk away.
If the beginning of a relationship is difficult, the rest of it will only be worse. The right person will make your life easier. You will enjoy your time together, you will talk openly, and you won’t ever feel that “love/hate” dynamic.
8. You get along with each other’s friends and families
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Your friends and family aren’t going anywhere. How is the dynamic between your partner and your mom, or between them and your best friend? While it’s okay for them not to be best friends, no good can come from your mom hating your partner (or vice versa). Your friends and family have stood by your side for a long time. If your partner clashes with them, it’s going to be a rocky relationship.
The same is true of your relationship with their friends. If you think their best friend is the worst, it’ll eventually cause a problem. The impact of your family's opinions has a subtle and often hidden influence on your relationship and your perception of satisfaction, according to a 2022 study.
9. You love them exactly as they are
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People don’t change. Or rather, they are capable of change, but only when they decide to change on their own terms.
If you love your partner a lot but wish they were smarter, kinder, less chatty, more tidy, etc., then that dissatisfaction will only grow. This doesn’t mean you have to love every single annoying habit, but it does mean you have to accept it and be able to live with it forever. Likewise, they should feel the same about your quirks and habits.
When you find the right person, everything else in your life will become easier. If you have problems at work, she’ll walk you through them. If you want to make some big life changes, they will support you. If you experience a tragedy, they will let you cry on their shoulder. The right partner makes the entire journey of life a lot less rocky. So, choose your partner wisely. It is easily the most important decision you will ever make.
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